the penguin fur guy just got his phd and is currently drunkenly yelling in french in the group chat so that’s a heartwarming update to a classic post for ya
He’s trying
I put that into Google translate, and either the app is wrong or that middle text is “I’m spices”.
you are walking through the high-altitude cloud forest of Costa Rica on a Friday morning, as you do. you trample through the underbrush,
heedless of your surroundings. suddenly, you stop. you feel… watched.
and judged. definitely judged.
you turn to run, but it is too late! you are surrounded by the alien stare of the Ghost Glass Frog. it’s curtains for you now, buddy.
oh no! aaaaaaagh. aaaaaagh!
the Ghost Glass Frog, which looks cross between Kermit and Hypno Frog, is a small and weirdly adorable meme creature found across southern Central America. they live in trees, surviving on a diet of insects and are harmless to humans. (though they may hop onto your face and chirp a bunch)
maybe don’t stare into these for too long, though
like all species of Glass Frog, the Ghost Glass Frog is a master of stealth. their bright green skin makes them nearly invisible against the leaves.
but the eyes do kind of give them away
though their true weirdness, and their namesake, lies… *editor’s note: pause for dramatic effect* BELOW.
their underbellies are almost completely transparent, giving us a perfect view of their guts for God only knows what reason.
*editor’s note: write something clever here when we stop rolling on the floor making disgusted noises*
maybe they thought a bird’s-eye view of their spleen would give most predators pause. (they were absolutely correct ew ew ew)
you wanna know what else is transparent? my ability to give a fuck
Ghost Glass Frogs lay their transparent eggs (which contain their transparent children) on the edges of leaves that overhang fast-flowing streams. one or both parents stick around to protect the eggs, which is roughly equivalent of a human giving their kids a free ride through college. pretty impressive parenting for an amphibian.
away from my children or I’ll show you my weird frog spleen, evildoer!
when the tadpoles hatch, they drop into the water and are off to have adventures and show
their internal organs to complete strangers on a fairly regular basis. in a few months they gain legs and a froggy outlook on life, at which point they hop out of the water to complete the cycle.
the frog cycle, the only cycle that matters
we’ll leave these fantastic critters for now, but a few final words:
when you walk through the forest, remember to say hi to the meme frog.
i always tell people that it’s an actual problem that we can be watching TV and then someone makes eye contact with molly and we can no longer hear the dialogue, we have to read the subtitles.
and they think we are exaggerating, but a friend came to visit and discovered that, no, that actually happens.
Loud Girl
She sounds like she’s pretending to be a motorcycle!
she can do this for HOURS, by the way. you don’t have to be petting her. i lie down next to her and start reading, and off she goes. ❤
Cripes, that’s the sound the COUGARS make up at the wildlife rescue.
I am delighted to inform you that you have a small dragon there.
Today I learned that if you forget to grease a waffle iron and render it temporarily unusable due to waffle being stuck all over it, you can make pancakes with the rest of the batter, with no changes.
You cannot, however, make good waffles from pancake batter. Waffles need more butter.
Today I learned that if you forget to grease a waffle iron and render it temporarily unusable due to waffle being stuck all over it, you can make pancakes with the rest of the batter, with no changes.
Sirius: Ladies and Gentlemen. We are gathered here to ask an age-old question: Who here does the best impression of Professor Minerva McGonagall?
Sirius: You will be judged on voice, body language and flair. Everyone will perform the same scenario: Professor McGonagall eating a marshmallow for the very first time. Ready, set, McGonaGO!
[Impersonating McGonagall]
James: What is this glutinous monstrosity before me?
********
Lily: The sugar in this is quite sweet.
********
Peter: *high pitched sounds of pure happiness and joy*
James: … that’s your impression?
Peter: I can hear her doing that.
********
Remus: Looks like a sticky pillow.
********
Sirius: I don’t care for it. Classical Music.
*McGonagall enters*
McGonagall: What are you all doing?
Sirius: Professor, nothing. Care for a marshmallow?
McGonagall, taking a marshmallow: *high pitched sounds of pure happiness and joy, laughing*
Peter: I KNEW IT!
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