so i fell asleep at my desk for a few seconds and woke up abruptly to the thought “WHO CARES!? THESE ARE ASSLESS CHAPS!!!” burning through my mind
i dont understand
It’s ok, I woke up two weeks ago to slapping my knuckles over my desk, and swore loudly. Only problem was that I suddenly had a thick Brooklyn accent, and thought I was a 1940s mobster for 30 seconds upon waking.
I LOVE STUFF LIKE THIS?
I did the same thing once, where when I woke up I seriously thought I was Superman for at least a good minute or so. I was reaching for my phone thinking, “Oh my God, I’ve been hiding it this whole time, I’ve gotta tell my boyfriend I’m superman.” And as I was very tiredly and sloppily writing the text I stopped what I was doing and was like, “What the fuck.”
Yes. More. I need more stories.
one morning i woke up absolutely convinced that my mom had faked her husbands death for tax purposes and i was so mad cuz i had to go to his stupid funeral with his dumb family and i thought we had finally gotten rid of him all for it to be a lie then like half an hour later im like “wait…” I told her about it later and she told me faking his death wouldnt have done much for her tax wise at all
Mine are always like “Oh fuck someone I love has died.” which is pretty scary to wake up to. But my favorite wtf one is that I woke up and I expected to wake up like at 12pm, I’d set an alarm for it etc….
I woke up at 8pm.
My immediate reaction to it being dark outside?
“Oh fuck it’s nuclear winter”
I once dreamed that I was a pirate tying a lot of knots for sail-hoisting purposes. Woke up to find that I’d wrapped our kitten in about three blankets. He wouldn’t sleep within arm’s reach of me for two years after that.
Another time, I was woken up by lightning striking a tree in our yard, and I genuinely thought I was somewhere to do with cannons for about 10 seconds.
And then there was that time I was dreaming about boring house things, walked outside, found a canyon in our yard, woke up, got out of bed, walked downstairs, went outside, saw a flying saucer, woke up, got out of bed, had breakfast, and spent the whole day quietly expecting that I was about to wake up.
Brains are weird and sometimes they forget how to reality.
Oh my god I love this.
My sister once went and woke up or dad to ask for lunch money and he asked her if she’d gotten the rubies yet and she said no and he told she had to get the rubies first and so she left and came back a little while later to ask again and he asked her if she’d gotten the rubies yet and she said yes and he told her okay and that she could take the $10 in his wallet.
I once had a dream that my house (and everything in it) was being claimed by loan sharks because I was so poor/in debt/or something, in my dream. I then woke up panicking/crying and looking around, confused as to why everything was still in my room. It took at least 20 seconds for me to figure out why.
I came out of like 1 second of microsleep with the idea that Plants vs. Zombies had introduced a Charging Mooseflower.
I once woke up, and very deliberately bashed my head into the wall. For some reason I thought that was really important to do.
mine are always like weird random phrases that are just in my head and seem vitally important like one time i woke and thought to myself “a dead man’s mouth must taste like cabbage”
once while in a hotel room i had a nightmare about trying to escape from a nuclear apocalypse. i failed, and got asploded. my mental movie screen went black for a long moment, and then i woke up to see the words SHIT HAPPENS written on the hotel room wall in cheerful birthday cake cursive.
i stared at this for what felt like a good 15 minutes, checking that yes i was definitely awake, my spouse was snoring behind me, i was in the hotel room where i was supposed to be, and yet the words were definitely right there… until suddenly they weren’t, and it was just the shadow of a tree outside.
being wide awake in every way except the shadows are randomly making fun of your cold war PTSD… that was the weirdest goddamn morning.
I have woken up and punched the nearest wall to my bed on several occasions
Another time I woke up and head butted a wall
I woke a friend up for work once and she was just like “so it’s time to make the shields for the invasion?” She didn’t understand why I was laughing for like 3 minutes
I was on holiday in Japan about three months after I finished my masters degree, and woke up at about 4am absolutely convinced I had an assignment due in the morning that I’d not yet started or submitted… to the point that I got out of bed, turned my laptop on and was about to start it. It only then occurred to me, when staring at the backlit screen, that the degree ended months ago, that I was not in my bedroom, and I was in another bloody country trying to relax.
I once woke up to the fire alarm and a room filled with smoke, only to realize five panic stricken seconds later that it was a car alarm outside and I was staring at my white wall.
i woke up in my hotel room in australia to someone having pulled the fire alarm but i was completely convinced it was a tsunami alarm and that I could see the wave right outside the window and i just fuckin bolted out that room and left my family behind and i almost ran straight out the from door until some people in the lobby were like excuse me miss what the hell are you doing
I distinctly remember waking up once and my first, instant thought was the specific phrase “wait…aliens aren’t allowed to ride bicycles…”
I once had a very involved dream about defending a castle with a very large, oddly shaped moat. I woke up with the word “Caerphilly” in my head and the absolute certainty that I needed to get to the castle. My mom thought my subconscious was telling me “carefully,” but I was convinced it was the name of the castle. I googled it. Caerphilly Castle is in Wales. And it has a very large, oddly shaped moat. I have never been to Wales.
I once woke up one morning to see a man’s big hairy leg sticking out from under the covers in my bed. I flipped out for a good few seconds before I realized that it was, in fact, my own unshaven leg.
Incredible
I once woke up, convinced I had Mr. Fantastic stretching powers.
I was rather disappointed
one time i had a dream that i got perfect grades and that my mom had told me so. i said ok and went back to sleep.
three days later, awake, i asked my mom if she was joking when she said this. she was understandably confused
Because it was inevitable I drew some lewds of my zora boy. Sometimes his dicks are shy and need a bit of extra warming up before they’ll unsheath all the way.
Hey Bucky, do you have any good self defense suggestions for a teeny and awkward college kid who has to walk everywhere at night? I’ve got no car and the busses don’t run late. Thanks!
keep your head up and your eyes open. be aware of your surroundings. don’t wear both headphones if you’re listening to music; you need to hear what’s happening. if someone’s looking at you, look back–you want to be able to describe them later if you have to. no need to stare them down, but in my experience little black greasepaint around the eyes never hurts.
keep an eye on the shadows and reflections–long low streetlights can alert you to someone coming up behind you. unless that person is natasha. then you should just resign yourself to death.
murder strut, don’t slink–do your best to look like somebody who would put up a fight with nothing but the way you walk.
and if you want to arm yourself, choose wisely. pick something you know you can use that’s legal in your area–the last thing you need is to get arrested for tazing somebody. practice with it, even if it’s mace; whip it out, pop the cap, get ready to spray. practice, practice, practice. and pick something you could handle having used against you. if you don’t want to get shot, don’t carry a gun; if you don’t want to get stabbed, don’t carry a knife. any weapon you introduce to combat–especially one you’re not competent with–can be taken from you and used against you, which is why you’re better off with mace or a taser than a set of brass knuckles. i carry around a rocket launcher because i’ve been grenaded a couple times and im pretty much cool with it. and also it really deters pickpockets.
whatever you pick, keep it handy. if your mace is at the bottom of your backpack, it will do you exactly zero good in a pinch. figure out a way to carry whatever you’re gonna use in a way that you have ready access to it, and then make that a habit. if all you have is keys, have them ready to claw with. if all you have is a robot murderfist, surgically attach it to your body so you don’t lose track of it.
and finally, scream. scream like tony just walked in on you in the shower. scream like thor just set a car on your toe again. the threat of attracting attention is enough of a deterrent for many people. and also its fun. hydra disapproved of my hellbeast combat shrieking so much that they gave me that fun and flirty facemask so i’d stop. but there’s nothing stopping me now! draw attention to yourself.
i hope that helps!
Ok, but how did Kyle go from “My uncle tried to kill me in my sleep, so I’m gona use the force to defend myself” to “let’s go grab a some of my buddies and kill the other students in their sleep as retaliation”?
Like, why bring down the Jedi Temple at all, the more human reaction to this situation was to fucking run not to become the sci fi equivalent of a School Shooter.
Unless he was already planning to become a school shooter and Luke just gave him an excuse to start his killing spree by (Out of Character) trying to kill his nephew in his sleep.
Leaving aside how colossally ridiculous and ooc it is that Luke, even for the briefest of moments, would contemplate killing Kylo, it’s treated like a gotcha moment – “the villain isn’t as bad as you think, he’s just having a normal reaction! Not his fault!”
But here’s the thing: Kylo has already turned. He knows that he’s going to go on to do everything Luke sees in his vision. He knows that’s why Luke contemplates killing him. He’s already Snoke’s lackey, he’s already turned a handful of Luke’s students too. So the reaction to try and kill Luke and everyone else who won’t side with him, then burn the Temple to the ground isn’t a response to the shocking sight of Luke turning on him, an innocent
boytwenty three year old man. It’s just doing what he already intended to do, just sooner and messier, to cover his tracks.
acceptable ways to trigger tag your posts
- #trigger
- #trigger ///
- #trigger —-
- #trigger 13434256245 (or any string of numbers)
- #trigger cw
- #trigger tw
- #trigger for ts
NOT acceptable ways to trigger tag your posts
- #tw trigger
- #cw trigger
- #~*~trigger~*~
- not tagging it at all
- #tw
blacklist scripts like blacklist on xkit and tumblr savior look for the word only in the first word when its a tag !!! please tag your triggers the right way and help your friends !!!!!!
bless this post I had no idea
I didn’t know this, thanks for the info!
reblog this and put in the tags what comes up when you type “die”
A large colony of garden eels sway and feed in the gentle currents off Dumaguete Philippines. Garden eels are extremely shy and harmless members of the conger eel family. They live in burrows on the sea floor and are very social creatures that form large colonies. The currents deliver a a continuous passing supply of plankton allowing the eels to feed in the comfort and safety of their sandy home. As our team approached this giant colony they quickly vanished into their burrows as if they never existed. I find these colonies to be hypnotic living gardens in the sea. Thank you to Leandro Blanco for video support. On assignment for @natgeo Philippines, Inside the Coral Triangle.
#DiscoverOcean
If there are fewer eels, they stay further down in the sand with just a couple inches of body poking out. When there’s a huge colony, they have to be Tall because the ones at the edges of the colony pick off most of the low plankton before it can get to the middle one. They prefer not to come out that far because it makes it harder to retreat quickly, but they will if needed. Each one has a burrow that’s deep enough for that entire noodle to vanish completely if disturbed. When pretending to be sea grass doesn’t work, they shoop down into the burrow
Despite the name, these guys aren’t actually eels. Their face looks more like a goby’s, and they don’t have wide jaws with sharp teeth.
ZZZZZ.
this is my clone oc his name is bastard because he’s just the worst
I mean, none of them have married parents, so…
BettSplendens Tumblr Evac 