Soundwave decides to take advantage of an empty ship to have some fun in Megatron’s throne, Megatron walks in and finds him, a considerable amount of fun ensues.
Loosely TFP, but with Megatron actually sane and a decent person. This is like good-ending TFP, basically. No significant warnings. Improper use of data-cables, some awkwardness and general embarrassment, and relatively minor fluid stuffing with a biological basis- i.e. overflow tanks are a thing in Cybertronians and get full when you have a larger-than-you partner. Spike-in-valve smut, little bit of showing off, gets a bit fluffy. Definite praise kink somewhere in there.
Fun statistical fact: Cows are about 300 times more likely to kill you than coyotes.
Minor sidenote to statistical fact: If it was common for people to keep several hundred coyotes on their property and routinely chase them into a corral and handle them, this statistic would be different.
this is a great summary of ‘conditional probability’, a statistical property many people grapple with
Statistical fact: most shark bites occur in three feet (or less) of water.
Minor sidenote to fact: if it was common for people to paddle about in the open ocean while on vacation, this would be very different.
No one knows the exact tipping point that caused The Office (2005-2013) to be banned at Wayne Manor because Bruce gives inconsistent answers to that question, namely–
a) Don’t you have better things to be doing
b) The green lanterns laugh at him when that theme song plays in the background of his cave transmissions
c) Every time his children watch that show, they spend the next week staring at any available camera. Stop making that face at the security cameras. Stop making that face at the reporters’ cameras. Do not stare at cameras while your siblings fight each other. Please. Make them stop fighting each other. Please.
d) One of his children watched 27 episodes in a row last week, and that’s… that’s too many episodes, Tim. It’s just too many.
Damian is often cold, and since he spends the majority of his time in a costume that includes a cape, that’s how he tends to wear blankets. He doesn’t understand why everyone else thinks it’s funny. It’s practical, Todd. Pay attention. Why are you smirking
Ever since they were little, the batboys have spoken differently as Bruce Wayne’s Wards™ than they have as his sons and as vigilantes.
Dick speaks with a wide conglomeration of accents so thick his English is barely intelligible, excusing it to the public as his circus upbringing, when really it’s just a game of a) “see how many accents I can slip into one sentence” (the record is something over thirty) and b) “see how unbelievable I can make it that Dick Grayson could ever be Robin/Nightwing because he speaks fluently”.
Jason caught on to Dick’s game and started seeing how many Spanish phrases, metaphors, and curse words he can fit into a conversation.
Tim thought it was a good idea to help keep their identities secret (of course he made the connection as soon as he figured them out), and his parents had neglected him kept him out of the limelight enough that he could believably begin speaking with what he described as “a Yiddish accent with Chinese oral posture and Italian colloquialisms”. He made a flow chart with why that specifically. Seriously, a flow chart. He still has it somewhere.
Damian had spent much of his life watching his brothers and plotting their respective demises, so when he came to Gotham, he assumed it was standard procedure and started speaking a heavy Arabic accent whenever he left the manor out of uniform.
The press loves it. They love praising Bruce for taking in such poor, unfortunate, culturally diverse (and sexually diverse! – Dick’s pansexuality is well known, and the rest of them didn’t get to stay in the closet very long either) orphan boys.
Bruce looks on with exasperated fondness. Even if he doesn’t know what the hell Dick’s saying 90% of the time.
i feel like people have forgotten what “NSFW” actually stands for after all these years
it stands for “not safe for work,” as in “material that could get you fired if your boss sees you looking at it at your place of employment”
tagging things as “nsfw” is not something to be politicized, it is a courtesy to your fellow humans so that they do not get fired or socially ostracized for someone’s whole dick being out on their computer
>You have just finished attending Evening Mass. You are standing in Notre Dame, lost in thought while admiring the stained glass, when the Archdeacon approaches.
Frollo: Hello my parishoner. How are you on this fine sunday?
>ENTER RESPONSE
Frollo: Oh, Uh. Yes. I understand. Have a nice day.
Beep beep, Mozambique rain frog [Breviceps mossambictus] passing on your left. Like many rain frogs, these frogs have gradually lost the ability to hop, choosing instead to speed-walk wherever they need to go.
BettSplendens Tumblr Evac 