proposal to rename executive dysfunction as ‘Bitch Toddler Dysfunction’ since it’s exactly like living with a horrible contrary small child who refuses to cooperate for fun and smacks things out of your hands but unlike a real toddler this one lives in your frontal lobe and if it says you’re not allowed to do laundry you’re unable to do anything about it
me: hey look I know you don’t really like doing homework but this one is just looking at pictures, okay? Do you wanna look at some pictures? We can have a hot cocoa while we do it and!! if we finish this before 4pm we can watch some TV!! How does that sound? :^)
the horrendous little goblin child who has both hands firmly on the levers on my brains control panel that make me move around and do things: *makes fart noises while I’m talking and hammers the button labeled ‘NAPTIME’ until I pass out*
some people: omg… epic nostalgia fail… right in the childhood. guess a kid can’t be a kid anymore
people who have bought a toy in the last ten years: good fucking riddance to that dump and its insane markups.
I’m in both camps. TRU’s prices were nuts at times, but it was the only outlet for a lot of stuff, and there’s something deeply sad about the death of the last of the chain toy stores.
people who actually looked into why it’s shutting down and not just smugly jerking off to their own selfishness: Toys R Us was saddled with thoroughly insurmountable debt by the exact same venture capitalists who tanked Kay-Bee Toys and numerous other retail chains. They took a company that was struggling, bought it, then leveraged that buyout almost wholly into a $5 billion debt on the company that was virtually impossible for them to cover, something that should be illegal because it’s absolutely ruining the economy by just funneling money into the coffers of the already-super-rich while destroying competition that helps keep prices all over down. TRU’s model was actually successful and under normal circumstances they’d be recovering fine, but that debt was never going to go away and sucked up pretty much any profit the company made. Needing to clean up that debt, by the way, is also a factor in TRU’s prices, as well as Walmart not needing to make a profit off of toys, making them “loss leaders” by selling them at minimal profit because they make their real money elsewhere in the store but using those loss leaders to lure people in. Also TRU accounted for roughly 15% of the sales from major toymakers like Hasbro, Mattel and Lego, and this will hurt all of them (especially because now Walmart has even MORE leverage and market share and they are notoriously vicious with how they treat suppliers, plus the scummy Amazon), and god knows what this is going to do to many smaller companies who relied on TRU’s orders and distribution for their wares that Walmart wouldn’t carry. Plus this is thousands and thousands of jobs lost in a poor economy, but hey, you sometimes might have had to pay a little bit more for a hunk of fucking plastic you didn’t fucking need so who’s the real victim here?
BTW the venture capitalists who just destroyed Toys R Us? Bain Capital, brought to you by Mitt Romney, who is looking into running for Congress.
Some times the shell makes it hard for them to FUCK!
“Barnacles probably have the largest penis to body size ratio of the animal kingdom.”
I don’t like that.
Some times they live on walls or big pillars.
Some times they live on whales.
Sometimes the whales don’t like it. But sometimes they don’t care.
Do you like whales? I like whales.
Whales are not full of cream. Whales are full of magic.
They got NO heart and NO gills but I THINK they got souls.
I think they got bum also.
It wasn’t clear.
They got eye.
The babies are like little larvae that swim about until they get old and find a nice spot. Then they go to this nice spot and they think “hmm, that’s a good spot. i,m going to make cement here.”
I think that’s right.
It wasn’t clear. I didn’t look into it much though.
They look silly when they’re enjoying a snack.
There’s this kind called Goose Barnacles, or sometimes Gooseneck Barnacles, and they’re called that because they anchor on to things using these big meaty tubes that look like goose necks.
They’re also called that because in the Old Days people used to think they would transform into geese, or that geese would pop out of their shells, & that’s how geese are made.
I wish that was how geese are made. I think that sounds delightful.
Geese are not full of cream. Geese are full of grease and rage.
That’s a really good question. I think it’s that they’re more comfortable with me than wild toads so they exhibit more of their natural behaviors more freely. Plus whenever they do something cute I have the privilege of being nearby ready to take a picture. Wild toads are bursting with personality but they’re so reclusive and overlooked I don’t think most people pay them attention.
Here’s a wild toad going about his business just as casually as my toads do:
BettSplendens Tumblr Evac 