Author: annoyedfish

naomi-nekomimi:

instantbanana:

my-mental-pile:

itsme98z:

YES. Make things clearer and more specific

Especially the first one! I have a really hard time knowing if somebody actually wants me to do something unless they are specific about the task and direct it towards me completely. 

This is some adhd/autism solidarity Mood™️

yes, please. this is very good. having autism is like having a language barrier between you and the rest of the world, even when no language barrier exists. people say words with specific meanings but somehow things get lost in translation constantly. its very confusing, and minor things can make a big difference. (not to mention how someone saying number 2 through 6 can ruin my day because of how much I fixate and obsess over every facet of them).

Please never, NEVER say “we need to talk” without specifying. To anyone. If someone has anything related to anxiety, they are going to panic over that. Random people get anxious over that. Be specific!

snakegay:

snakegay:

one of my beefs ith the human body is that in spite of the fact that its not fully adapted to bipedalism, its completely useless quadrupedally. i mean clearly thats not a problem considering the success of the human species as stamina hunters and onwards but like  i want to live in a world where people sometimes gallop around on all fours and this is normal

like…… this girl gets it

fruityfruityfruitloops:

A stranger who doesn’t speak English (or more likely speaks some limited English) knocks on the door to the apartment complex you own and asks if they can stay there since dangerous people have taken over their building and you have plenty of space in yours.

They take low wages doing odd jobs around your house that you always hated doing anyway, but they have trouble doing things like visiting doctors, feeding and educating their children, and putting away any money for their future. They ask you, since you control the house and and have vast resources available to you, if you would be able to spare anything to help them survive while they look at their options and try to get their bearings.

You call the police to have them evicted because they’re inconveniencing you. The police come, rip their children from them, and incarcerate them separately. You turn on the TV and yell at black football players.

cool-critters:

Cyclopterus lumpus

Cyclopterus lumpus is a species of marine fish in the family Cyclopteridae (lumpsuckers). It is found in the North Atlantic and adjacent parts of the Arctic Ocean, ranging as far south as Chesapeake Bay (rare south of New Jersey) on the North American coast and Spain on the European coast. Males typically reach 30–40 cm in length and the larger
females rarely surpass 50 cm in length and 5 kg in
weight.After hatching, lumpfish will spend their first few months in tidal pools, or in association with floating seaweed clumps. As they grow they migrate out into open water far from land where they live in the pelagic zone feeding upon gelatinous zooplankton, fish eggs and small crustaceans.

photo credits: Jiel

LUMPUS

Burning Love

yourplayersaidwhat:

Context: Same game I’m playing as Animated Armor. It’s been a little while, since the lake incident and we’re just getting started with the next session. Our healer, the elf whom I get along well with in our party is now determined to find something to help me speak. (I can’t due to not having vocal cords) The Paladin hates me more than ever for having almost drowned him and forced him to walk around naked for a while.

*While in a tavern, the rouge is off trying to gather information for employment and the other two eat while I just stand around not really being of any use because there is nothing useful I can do at the moment when the elf turns to me*

Cleric: So…has anyone anyone worn you besides our dear [Human Paladin]?

Me: *shakes head*

Cleric: Oh so the Paladin was the first man ever inside you?

*Ooc the elf’s player is giggling her butt off at this point, and I nod to answer*

Paladin: What’s your point elf?

*She turned her head to the Paladin with the most wicked smile I’d ever seen on her*

Cleric: Why don’t you see? You’ve taken our poor fighter’s virginity!

Paladin: He’s a walking suit of armor! There’s nothing to take!

Cleric: How else is he suppose to be intimate?

Me ooc: I roll for embarrassment

DM: What?

Me ooc: I roll to see how embarrassed I am

DM: okay…uh..go for it, 20 sided, higher rolls means the more embarrassed you are.

*Me, rolls a 19*

DM: Your entire helmet starts to visibly glow red, prompting concern looks from the other patrons and revealing your secret crush that’s developed upon the Paladin since the ‘incident’

Paladin ooc: You serious?

Me: I run out the tavern covering my face from the embarrassment.

DM: Uh…run a perception check?

*Fails and proceeds to trip over a stool, my burning helmet/head then caught a rug on fire and burned half the tavern down and injuring several people. The rest of the session after we fled the town proceeded with the elf shipping me and the Paladin hard time*

Hold your breath…

yourplayersaidwhat:

I’m a first time player and the DM is a close friend determined to get me to play a game of D&D. We worked closely together on a very interesting homebrew for my first character based off of one of my drawings. A suit of animated armor that no one knows is really just an empty living construct. Keep in mind that when I take too much damage, I’m forced to fall into a kind of paralysis rest period.

My party, a dwarf rogue, a human paladin and an elf cleric and I are working to clear a bandit dungeon that keeps raiding a nearby town. I get along well with the elf and the human gets along well with the dwarf, but me and the Paladin don’t get along due to me being chaotic neutral. In this dungeon we encounter a warlock there that has been helping them for unknown reasons. Most of us are starting to get low on HP after so many fights.

DM: The wizard sees you and casts fireball…

Me: I roll to block with my shield!

DM: Okay, roll for fortitude, reflex and will

Cleric OOC: Will?

Me & DM: …

*Rolls good on fortitude and reflex but crit fails on will*

DM: You successfully block the fireball protecting your party, however, you fall to pieces, your armor empty…

Rogue OOC: Wait? He was burned to ashes protecting us?

Paladin: NOOOOOOO!

*Party proceeds to kick ass to avenge me and while this is going on and I excuse myself to make everyone some food lying about rolling for a new character after I get back*

*Several turns pass as I come back with hot dogs, chips and drinks. The party has left the dungeon to recover, DM texts me that the Paladin shed his armor to don me in respect and memory of my friendship and sacrifice, then then made camp near a lake*

*As everyone sleeps while the Paladin keeps watch the DM turns to me*

DM: You wake up staring at a lake and realize that someone is inside you

ME: I freak out and decide to jump into the lake

*Everyone else at the table looking severely confused as the DM turns to the paladin*

DM: Roll for breath…

And that’s how I nearly drowned our Paladin and forced him to walk around naked until we could replace his armor.