I kinda like to imagine what it would be like if it just… did not occur to Loki that Hela was gonna be genuinely evil about taking over Asgard. Anywhere else, sure, fine, he doesn’t care, but that’s not what you do with Asgard.
(Of course, on one hand, it absolutely did occur to him, he’s cowardly in many ways but not ignorant. On the other hand, following this thought thread for the pure amusement of it, Hela basically seemed to be the sincerely evil conqueror this chaotic neutral dandy been trying to be for the past few years but better, he would absolutely throw a fit and not think about it.)
Like, Loki landed on trash planet and was like, “Welp, I have been sorely, embarrassingly outmatched by a sibling I never knew I had, who is me but better at it. I live here in this trash heap now. I’m going to become the kept floozy of a madman until I murder him and also get smashed at 8 am for the rest of my millennia-long life while wallowing in my misery.”
Then Thor shows up and is like, “Loki, get your ass out of someone else’s bed, we need to go back and save Asgard from our villainous sister.”
Loki’s desperately like, “Uh no, you embarrassed me in front of everyone? I would kill everyone in this room and then myself before I ever went back to Asgard now. Go away. I’m plotting to rule this trash heap, where I now live.”
And Thor replies, “It suits you perfectly. One problem. Our ‘villainous’ sister’s usurpation of the throne involves actually killing our people. She didn’t take over Asgard just to build great golden statues of herself, flirt with the entire court, eat grapes languidly, drink of all Dad’s good booze, and watch glorifying plays about herself while wearing Dad’s fanciest bathrobes. She’s not like you. She’s actually killing our people.”
And Loki’s just… completely flabbergasted, despite the fact that Hela’s first action was to make a very good go at trying to kill them both (completely normal thing to do in the Asgardian royal family, really).
[Me and my husband, watching a martial arts film] Me: See, now this is how the Jedi should have recruited their Padawans: you find some dude and then challenge him to a fight, and if he kicks your ass you then have to beg him to teach you. Husband: Yeah, but the Jedi were a lot younger when they become a Padawan than these guys. Me: [cracking up] So it’d just be teenage Obi-Wan all “COME AT ME, JINN, LET’S DO THIS I’LL TAKE YOU” to 50-year-old Qui-Gon. Like, jumping on his back while he’s walking to the cafeteria. Luke trying to bodyslam 900-year-old Yoda once he figures out that he’s a Jedi Master. Or Ahsoka, like, 13 years old and trying to start shit with the Chosen One. Fistfights breaking out in the hallways… Husband: You should have to win a fight to get on the Council. You have to challenge someone for their seat. Me: [dying] Oh God, Anakin would be so into this. Husband: You should at least have to best a sitting council member in a Jedi dance solo.
Honestly, this should be canon. I can totally see Ahsoka starting shit with the Chosen One.
FOR REAL. Tiny Snips showing up in front of Anakin’s dorm door some day all “IT’S ON, SKYGUY.” (Also, I’m dying because you know that as Mr. Force Himself, Anakin was probably highly-sought-after and so I’m just picturing tiny Jedi trying to lure him into a fight every other damn day when he’s back at the Temple because they all want to be the Chosen One’s Padawan.)
Also: 9-year-old Anakin trying to fight 25-year-old Obi-Wan is killing me. Obi-Wan being all “It’s all right, Anakin, Master Yoda already said I can train you, you don’t need to challenge me to a fight, Padawans aren’t usually as young as you and you haven’t had any real Jedi training yet so it’s not a good –” and Anakin being like “NOPE, if this is what Jedi do, I’m gonna do it too, Obi-Wan. It’s happening. HAAAAAAAAAA!” and flying at him with his tiny little fists while Obi-Wan is like “MASTER YODA WHAT DO I DO??” and the whole Council is just in stitches as this all goes down.
Ok you know what’s killing me here? The fact that obviously the more skilled you become as a Jedi the BETTER you have to be at AVOIDING fights. I mean one of the secret trials of knighthood would have to be proving that you are capable of derailing a preteen’s attempts at fighting or else you’d be dealing constantly with initiate attempts to fight!
The first step to being a Padawan isn’t convincing your potential Master to take you on, it’s getting them to fight you in the first place.
So imagine all those tiny Jedi throwing themselves at the Chosen One and Anakin just striding through like the tall bastard he is, ignoring the occasional flying tackle attempt and dancing aside from small fists without looking up from his latest speeder schematics.
And imagine the traps they attempt to set, hoping to corner him into a confrontation – a tactic that would actually be quite effective, were it not for the fact that Anakin Skywalker was trained by Obi-Wan Kenobi, and we all know their mutual stance on traps…
(Speaking of which, consider how many attempts there are after Anakin’s knighting to earn a place as Obi-Wan’s new Padawan – the poor man is constantly battling rugrats as well!)
Snips wins her place through cunning and persistence. I’m thinking it involves her pretending to be after Obi-Wan as a Master, a carefully timed post mission encounter and a plate of cookies or something – while keeping up light conversation she makes sure to steal the last treat out of Anakin’s fingers prompting him to chase her and thus initiating a fight. Anakin and Obi-Wan will boast about this for YEARS.
But anyway aside from cunning old Jedi who can evade like whoa, consider the second part of this whole ritual. The begging to be trained.
Consider the idea of a smol Anakin clearing his throat and humbling requesting Obi-Wan take him on as his Padawan learner and Obi-Wan being like “Yes! Of course!” and Anakin pouting and insisting it’s not fair if he doesn’t do this right! Obi-Wan needs to be persuaded like tradition says! He made an entire list of arguments! So Obi-Wan has to sit there and hide his smile while he gives pro forma rejections for Anakin to rebut.
The council are in need of medical assistance at this point due to excessive laughter.
But also consider the other partnership we haven’t looked at yet.
Young Dooku having managed to engage Yoda in a fight, but not quite able to bend his pride enough to actually beg for training. The old troll is having so much fun just WAITING and watching the boy squirm!
…you know that Ahsoka also tried to make it look like she was going after Obi-Wan for her Master so that Anakin would be additionally motivated to fight her. Part of Obi-Wan’s challenge in fending off would-be apprentices is that he also has to keep Anakin from fighting them himself (because obviously no one is ever allowed to be Obi-Wan’s apprentice but him).
Oh gosh, I love all of this. You know, “being good at avoiding a fight” IS a Jedi thing, surely! So they WOULD have to learn creative ways to safely deflect someone who’s trying to pick a fight, especially if it’s someone much smaller and not as well-trained as they are. So they hone this skill in part by avoiding a rumble with one of the thousands of tiny Forcelings running around in the Temple.
Obi-Wan and Anakin, just calmly walking down the hallway together, talking about last night’s episode of Coruscant’s Got Talent, each of them barely batting an eye as a steady stream of younglings yells out challenges, tries to trip them, comes flying at their backs. Just another day, really.
Yes! That last image is pretty much exactly what I was thinking!
And of course Anakin makes life even more difficult for poor Obi-Wan! And of course Ahsoka was the only one to notice and utilise this dynamic to get what she wanted! She fits right in to their little family!
Of course with Knight Skywalker off the table the competition to engage Master Kenobi must be INTENSE. Anakin and Ahsoka have his back of course, but it would be nice to be able to meditate quietly in the gardens for a change. Maybe he should let a few try their chances…
Anakin & Ahsoka: “NO.”
(Neither of them are keen on sharing, especially with a kid who can’t find a way to make their own opening! )
Speaking of which Ahsoka is inundated with initiates wanting to know how she did it. Her advice gets snippier and snippier until she too begins to avoid them. Anakin beams with pride – she’s learning already!
Also I’m thinking of a tiny little Caleb Dume, wondering if it’s fair to try and attack Master Billaba so soon after she’s left medical. Because he’s sure she’s the one he wants to teach him, but she was badly hurt…
Ooh. Consider the outside reactions to these traditions! So many senators are completely shocked on their first visits to the Temple. It’s a madhouse!
In contrast the clones think proving your worth through practical demonstrations is an eminently sensible idea! They just think it should be done in a far less chaotic manner!
story concept of the day: a “medical mystery of the week” serial set in a world with monsters and superpowers and mutants and aliens
It would be like. One part comedy, one part drama, two parts world-building. The hospital has an aquatic wing for mermaids and sea monsters. How do you treat someone who has telepathic influenza? We’ll figure it out, I guess!
Some storyline concepts:
—a woman from a telepathic race based on anglerfish shows up in the ER in a panic because her mate, who is tiny and permanently attached to her body, has stopped communicating through their telepathic link
—the air-breathing doctors have to take over the aquatic ward after a mysterious illness spreads through the water-breathing staff
—an ambulance brings in an unconscious alien from a species totally outside of medical literature, the staff scramble to save their life while flying blind
—the first outbreak of lycanthropy in 50 years occurs following protests against the vaccine, the hospital is quarantined while the on-staff pharmacists try to control the situation
If I write this, I’d want it to be like. Scrubs meets WTNV.
Character concept: a demon who works in the ER because their ability to “steal” souls means they can bring back patients who are medically dead but still repairable if you can just get them breathing again.
He has some insanely generic sounding name like Doctor Fred and has that “snake tongue, fangs, ram horns, red skin, yellow eyes, long tail, black bat wings” thing going on
He’s like 35 and the object of unrepentant longing from most of the interns and junior staff. He’s kind and patient and great with kids and has the cutest hiccupy laugh and is absolutely the guy you want overseeing your training because he never yells. Everyone wants to marry Doctor Fred.
It’s a running joke that he’s probably a literal Incubus but there’s no aura or magic at play, he’s just got a perfect personality.
I think I’m naming this story “doctors and demons” for now
Another character is just. Nessie. The Loch Ness monster is here. She works at the front desk for the aquatic ward and pokes her head out of the water to pass notes and files to the other doctors.
One of the aquatic doctors is Doctor Lagoon, who is the creature from the black lagoon. He’s very intimidating but can be immediately be calmed down by bringing up his human wife or their daughter. There’s a picture of him holding his wife bridal style on his desk.
The actual protagonist is a human woman who considers herself totally normal but actually has SOME sort of powerful telekinesis that she constantly explains away as coincidence.
There’s a character named Cadaver or Caddie who is a living corpse that constantly regenerates. She’s vital to the hospital for organ transplants but an absolute nightmare for the staff because she does things like host speed dating for zombies in the morgue and eat everyone lunch out of the staff room fridge.
Also I think the protagonist’s name is Jane Doe or Doctor Doe, as a joke on her being average but… not at all.
I think the trio of main characters are Doctor Fred (emergency), Doctor Doe (in-patient) and an alien surgeon named Doctor Hive, who is close to an insectoid Cthulhu. A running joke is her ability to keep track of her hundreds of children but not the names of any of their fathers or her coworkers except her very favorites.
A thought I had while studying tarot: instead of saying “masculine” and “feminine” to mean those behaviors, personalities or vibes, how about saying “solar” and “lunar” instead?
You don’t have to use unnecessarily gendered language and I don’t need a second reason because you don’t have to use unnecessarily gendered language.
Some quick concept doodles for a speculative type of marine pterosaur. The very earliest discoveries of pterosaurs were actually interpreted as being aquatic animals, and I wanted to play with that idea a bit while keeping the anatomy recognizable.
These guys are vaguely based on Pteranodon. They use their wing-flippers to cruise around like manta rays, with their crests serving as dorsal fins and their feet reduced to small fluke-like flippers for steering.
I imagine they’re probably capable of spectacular breaching and gliding short distances over the water’s surface to escape predators, similar to flying fish and squid.
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