Tiny Headcanon: Cybertronians actually, most likely have a real good time doing things that would total cars- they’re far, FAR sturdier than an actual car is after all, and much more capable. An impact that would destroy a car might actually hurt a Cybertronian who isn’t prepared for it, but by large they’re just so tough (and capable of using their sparkfield to lessen the effects of gravity and inertia) that to them spinning out into a barricade or flipping over in a ditch or Optimus Prime’s favored tactic of “Climb a tall thing and do a superhero landing after jumping from it” are probably just…fun.
It does take them a bit to learn that humans are not very appreciative of their car suddenly engaging in acrobatics, though.
In no small part, Cybertronians and Humans tend to get along specifically because both species has the uncanny ability to look at something impractical, dangerous, and entirely unecessary
Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.
I’m so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners
and also, why do sometimes think i must be bleeding or something really bad and run to the toilet and then hardly nothing has happened, and other times i think “i’m fine” and then later realise there’s blood everywhere?
i love the mythbusters they’re like those weird uncles that you only see occasionally at big family reunions and every time you see them they’re like, “hey kid, wanna see what happens when we light a bee hive full of jalapeños and grenades on fire and shoot it?” and you’re like “uncle adam no” but it’s too late and there go your mother’s hydrangeas
anyway my lame ass is taking driving school at age 19 and it’s the most simultaneously entertaining and miserable thing as a college student listen to me
in my city there are two driving schools
there’s the really good one and the… other one
the other one is more convenient for me
it is run by a stuntman of thirty years and his wife, who used to pilot planes in the military
they rescue puppies
and made the teacher show puppy pictures in the slideshow
puppies come on wednesdays
a kid once ran himself over with a golf cart
the room is -50ºF and the hall is the sahara desert
it’s all pretty damned cool
now the students
a girl asked what “FAQ” stood for.
a boy is named cannon.
a girl is named carrington.
the teacher is this amazing soul who survived pancreatic cancer TWICE and looks like an I.T. guy but apparently listens to heavy metal on blast and gave us such quotes as “you must know how to operate a doorknob to take this class” and “do not climb inside the vending machine.”
i asked the teacher at one point if something applied to college students and he was like “are you over eighteen?”
“yeeep”
“then this doesn’t apply to you”
[CLASS AUDIBLY MURMURS AND GASPS FOR A FULL MINUTE]
he hates the staff of the place they’re located
“this place was built by the lowest bidder. don’t touch the walls, they will break. don’t touch the walls, don’t look at the walls.”
a kid’s last name is “pringle” and the preppy shit-talking girls behind me wouldn’t shut the hell up about it (“what sooo it’s just one pringle? did it fall out of the bottle lolol”). like quench your thirst after you learn to drive
there was a sketchy ass vending machine in the room with like three Hershey’s chocolate bars in it and these girls were like “I wanna know if it works I want choooooc-late” and I’m like “there are literally vending machines downstairs” and one of them just flatly goes “they know.”
turns out someone had jammed a dime in the slot
i talked about these two annoying guys who showed up like an hour late (and seemed drunk like but ur fifteen??????) and this girl’s eyes light up and she’s like “you mean the hot ones!” and I’m like “i am nineteen years old y’all are all babies.“
we had to go to a funeral home for an intense lecture. and people were talking selfies I kid you not okay
Autistic Person: “To decide who to hire, the applicants should try out for the job the same way a student in school would try out for a varsity sport. They should be given tests that directly measure their ability to perform the job. Whoever performs best on the tests will get the job.”
Allistic Person: “To decide who to hire, the applicants should be forced to have a conversation with me. The conversation will involve me asking vague questions like ‘tell me about yourself’. The questions I ask will be so hard to answer that people will literally pay someone to give them tips on how to answer them. I’ll also be testing things like body language and eye contact, which tell me jack shit about their ability to actually perform the job. But it’s okay, because I have psychic abilities that tell me who to hire within one minute of meeting them.”
Society: “I think we’ll go with the allistic person’s idea.”
My cats understand and will obey a number of verbal commands, one of which is “go away”. I don’t use it often, but if they’re bugging me and I’m trying to work or doing something that could be dangerous for cats, I can tell them to go away, and off they go – they’ll only keep pestering me if there’s a serious problem they need me to look at.
That said, their idea of a serious problem that requires my attention is somewhat eccentric. Previous instances have included:
There was an unfamiliar car parked across the street
Their water bowl was four inches to the left of its usual position
One of them had puked on the stairs and they didn’t want to walk past it
It was raining
One of them saw a weird bug
These are all very important things that required your attention. They’re doing a good job.
Dogs really aren’t much better. I teach all my dogs the command “show me”. How it works is if the dog needs something but I’m having trouble understanding what exactly they’re trying to tell me, I say “show me” and they lead me to whatever the problem is. Usually they lead me to a real problem (like a toy that got stuck under the couch, their water bowl is empty, etc). But sometimes they want me to fix things like this-
They pulled the covers off my bed and now they want me to put the covers back
They put their ball on top of the ottoman but the ottoman won’t throw it for them
The cat is sleeping and won’t chase them
A flower fell off the potted plant
The cat is sitting in a box and they don’t like it
One of them lost their bandana
The cat won’t take the toy they’re trying to give her
The cat DID take the toy they gave her and now they want it back
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