I like the “plays for the other team” entendre because it implies that asexual people play for no team. We merely watch from the stands, confused by the world of sports, just like I do in real life.
Tag: yep
Whirl at the beginning of mtmte: cyclonus is a creepy murderer and i have to either make up with him or kill him before he kills me
Whirl later: cyclonus is a dumbass bitch who doesn’t know how to express himself and if i don’t do anything he will never confess to his not-yet marshmellow boyfriend
Whirl even later: ah shit he’s hot, lemme in that stupid affection ya dumbasses
i have officially piqued, i’ll never be funnier than this moment in time
i was walking through the grocery store ignoring everyone and i walked around the corner and ran right into this old mans cart and i was like “oh god, my bad, i didn’t see you there” and when i looked up, he was wearing all camo. down to his hat. his wife lost it laughing. i’ll never be funny again
dumbledore: friends! romans! countrymen! lend me your ears!
fred and george: *throw extendable ears at him*
Ok, ok. What I don’t get is why Venom has to be eating people, specifically? Like. There’s a lot of other animals out there, my dude, and even if you’re looking for something more often found in predators or what have you, you can eat predators. I mean, call me a crazy environmentalist but why isn’t Eddie Brock renting himself out for invasive species control!? Oh, the everglades are overrun with invasive pythons? Lol, not anymore. Eddie took a vacation and now Venom is fat&happy and they’ve been banging like bunnies between bouts of snake-hunting. Ain’t like Florida’s going to think it’s too weird that there’s a huge monsterman out slurping down snakes like they’re wiggly spaghetti. Let’s be honest here, Venom is already basically a ‘Florida Man’ headline. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
I was curious to see what a moose would look like in the dark
Imagine seeing THAT just outside the circle of firelight.
No wonder people thought old gods lived in the woods. O_O
Asking scientists not to look into an open box was like asking cats not to saunter through an open door. It simply wasn’t practical.
Into the Drowning Deep, Mira Grant (via valenshawke)
BettSplendens Tumblr Evac 