Wandering around New York City PISSED because there are all of these empty luxury apartments in a city with such a high homeless population. He just starts tearing down doors and ushering people inside (and then repairing the doors because whoops he did not think that through)
Every time a reporter tries to ask Natasha who does her hair he interrupts her snarky response with I DO
Getting dragged into tv interviews and getting weird questions he’s not really qualified to answer until finally someone asks him what he thinks the founding fathers would have to say about net neutrality and he just says “I don’t give a fuck what they’ve have to say” before this impassioned speech about freedom and information equality that everyone is too afraid to interrupt
Literally dropping everything to show up in Ferguson. Like, thanks police department for all your hard work but you can go home now because the people have spoken and they’d like you all to retire early Captain America’s got this covered
He does not tell the Avengers
He does not tell Fury
He leaves a note for Bucky but like it’s really vague “ttyl gotta go school some haters” and Bucky has no idea what that’s supposed to mean because Steve basically COLLECTS HATERS LIKE THEY’RE POKEMON
Speaking of haters remember that time in Iron Man 3 where Tony gave out his home address and basically told a terrorist to come find him? That’s not good enough for Steve. Nope. He adopts one of those army dogs with the titanium teeth and just starts jumping out of planes and knocking on doors like “hello have you accepted Steven Grant Rogers as your ass-kicking savior?” like this is a weekly occurrence. Arms dealers, the leaders of drug cartels, human traffickers, he just keeps finding things to get pissed about.
Because he doesn’t like bullies.
Like everyone in the tower sits him down and they have an intervention for him and he promises to find his chill
Starts doing Sesame Street appearances and everything seems normal
And then he disappears on a rampage and resurfaces on the news standing at the protest lines of an abortion clinic escorting women inside and covering their faces with his shield
He probably comes across Coulson at one point and he’s not even surprised he’s just like accepted the fact that nobody stays dead anymore like he’s honestly expecting to punch real hitler in the real face one of these days
everyone always makes a point to reiterate that Natasha could be wearing a full on ball gown and heels and not have a shred of tactical equipment or weaponry on her and still chase after and expertly assassinate u, but no one ever forgets that Clint has done the exact same thing to the tee. The teal made his eyes pop.
Tony is allowed to call Natasha, “Natashalie”.
Steve is wayyy smarter than people give him credit for and would totally fuck with people (read: tony) when they think he doesnt understand tech stuff, prank others using that tech knowledge, blame it on another avenger, and then get away with it and watch the chaos unfold like a soap opera.
Bruce has been caught reclining in the living room with tea while knitting and saying into a phone, “What do you mean she didn’t go for it? honestly, pepper, if u don’t start a lawsuit, i will.” No one has any idea to this day what they were talking about but they still tease him about it relentlessly.
Thor does something similar to the Steve thing where he’ll pretend he doesn’t know something so when someone tries to explain it, he makes them go into EXCRUCIATING detail about it no matter how awkward the subject is for like hours, mostly as a test to see how long his act can hold up. It’s been getting better with time.
Natasha Romanoff loves matchmaking but she’s not that smooth or completely sauve with her own love life when it really matters.
James “Rhodey” Rhodes is the absolute BEST FRIEND in the whole ENTIRE goddamn WORLD forEVER. everyone should aspire to be a Rhodey.
Bucky Barnes is a fantastic friend, but also an absolute SHITHEAD and will MERCILESSLY prank u or embarrass u in front of ur date or write on ur face while ur sleeping. the worst part is, unless u know him or ur Steve, u would never expect it.
Pepper Potts is the most capable, trustworthy woman in the world but when she’s drunk off her ass, she giggles a lot, embarrasses her friends (read: Tony) with hilarious stories about them, and voluntarily breaks into song if whatever ur saying is also a famous lyric.
Sam Wilson is fair, understanding, and supportive but if u eat his leftovers and leave the foil or takeaway box in the fridge afterward, all bets are off and u need to flee the country immediately.
For three weeks someone keeps anonymously sending emails and texts and tacking notes in places they’ll see with really dumb bird puns to both Sam and Clint. Immediately everyone assumes it was Tony. Who else could it possibly be?
It was not Tony. It was Steve.
Rhodey is always called when Tony has a Stupid And Potentially Dangerous Idea because everyone assumes he’ll talk him out of it. This is a mistake. Most of the time, he does, but sometimes you’ll catch Rhodey saying “it’s gonna WHAT? Hold on, I’ll be over in five do not start without me”
Steve once walked out of his room at 3am and when he was halfway to the living room and heard an intense screamo/electric pop music mashup playing, a thunderous crash that lasted for fifteen seconds, Clint groaning, Tony shrieking, and Thor laughing a touch too maniacally, he turned right back around in what he later describes as a tactical retreat.
Rhodey and Tony have a secret handshake they made up at MIT. when people find out, they assume they’ll be embarrassed or deny it. Not only are they wrong, they will be subjected to a demonstration of it and if they’re REALLY lucky, they’ll get to see the full version. I’m not saying it includes light shows and projectiles, but that is exactly what I’m saying.
Everyone helps out with team dinners at least once, but Bruce is always a constant. be careful not to piss him off though. he’ll get u back in such a way that if u confront him about it he’ll turn it on u until u start to believe u imagined the copious amounts of crushed ghost pepper in ur chicken.
The Avengers can sit through Titanic, The Notebook, and Up without crying, but they don’t stand a chance against Marley & Me. Thor and Clint will be openly sobbing, Steve will be curled in on himself with his face in his hands, Bruce will need to leave the room, Tony will have tears streaming down his face as he babbles about why no one should ever get a dog ever forever and why they’re getting one first thing in the morning, and Natasha will be clearing her throat and wiping at her eyes as subtly as possible.
I feel like there has to be some kind of botany joke in the similarity between the words “areoles” and “areolas”
I mean this is literally a cactus that exists so (that’s Montrose Myrtilocactus geometrizans)
Also there’s an entire genus of popular cacti, Mammillaria whose name legit means “nipple”
Also after brief googling, it seems the words are related, areole coming from areola. The areole is actually the little bud that cacti spines sprout from. Botanists have been looking at cacti for centuries and going “ah… a titty”
me, a 1800s botanist: *is first to name a beautiful result of evolution that has been evolving for longer than my brain can feasibly imagine*
me: look like titty..name titty bush
Humans have always been humans, even the smart ones.
Gandalf was a dick who didn’t give a single fuck about reclaiming Erebor. Dude just wanted to make sure *a* dwarf (I say *a* dwarf because Thorin Oakenshield just happened to be the only one willing to even try, I’m convinced he wasn’t Gandalf’s first choice) got their hands on the Arkenstone, which they would then take before all Seven Houses of the Dwarves to convince them to Kumbaya together, thus giving Gandalf some extra cannon fodder for the war against Evil.
Thorin was the one that thought getting the Arkenstone = getting the support necessary to reclaim Erebor. Gandalf never ONCE talks about reclaiming Erebor. All he’s concerned about is the pretty rock Smaug is sleeping on, because what he needs is a symbol, not a giant bloody battle.
I’m not saying Gandalf doesn’t have the best intentions of Middle Earth. He does – but that’s the only thing he has the best intentions for. He cares about people as an idea, a whole, an aspect of Middle Earth, but when it comes to individuals? Psh! He’ll sacrifice individuals left and right if it means his plans succeed! When he saw that Thorin surviving the Battle of the Five Armies would have led to strife with the humans and elves nearby, which would have made them eventually working together against Evil that much more difficult to achieve, he did what he had to do. The Arkenstone might have worked for other Dwarves, but not Men or Elves. Gandalf needed to find a new symbol that would bring everyone together, in time.
There are few symbols better than a King that tragically died protecting the home he had only just reclaimed, and one that seemingly “beat” the madness which plagued his lineage at that?! Just sayin.
This isn’t wholly Gandalf’s fault. It’s simply his nature. He is a lesser god, after all, and the short lives of a few folks start to not mean much when you’ve lived for ages, unless you have a particular investment in them (i.e. Mahal and the dwarves).
I like Gandalf. He’s a funny guy, hella badass, and he does care about others. If it was up to him, nobody would die. But it’s not, and Gandalf doesn’t fight against fate; he enforces it.
i honestly think he just wanted them to deal with smaug so he wouldnt align with sauron, but you make excellent points here too like…
shoutout to the dude in the biology building who walked down the hallway carrying three (3) entirely intact 5 foot tall corn stalks rooted in a gallon ziplock bag, looked around confusedly, and walked back the way he came
what people think cat ownership is: sitting in a chair by a roaring fire while a purring fur baby lounges in your lap and presents their tum for pets in a display of love and trust
what cat ownership actually is: me chasing my cat around the dining room table, waving a fork and screaming “STOP EATING TAPE”
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