1olive12judys:

i accidentally dog trained myself yall.

I forgot to finish this story, anyways I have food alarms set throughout the day to remind me to eat. My alarm is the exact same as my ringtone, so when my mom called me earlier instead of answering my mom I went to the kitchen and made myself a sandwich.

The practical side of me suggests changing your ringtone. The less practical side of me is highly amused.

toopunktofuck:

magicalgirlmindcrank:

rolling a 1 on resist intrusive thoughts

the best part of this is that he “wasn’t charged with a crime because there is nothing against the law about driving a truck through a house, as long as it’s your truck and your house”

he sure did do that

Veterinary Legend: A Pair of Sox

drferox:

There are certain stories told around the campfire that transcend
from whispered words to pure legend. There are also tales retold in the
veterinary sphere, obscuring confidential client details of course,
which seem unbelievable at first but certainly happened somewhere, some
time.

This is one of them.

Once upon a time, a young family had a black and white cat named Sox. They had absolutely been planing to desex and microchip Sox, but life unfortunately got busy and Sox went missing before they could get this done.

After a week of searching, they very luckily found Sox at the pound. Sox was desexed and microchipped before being released, and they gladly took their cat home.

Keep reading

thescienceofjohnlock:

bogleech:

goth-cowboy:

moonblossom:

kinpunshou:

so this morning i was playing with the slow-mo mode on my phone, hoping to get a majestic vid of a bumblebee taking off

but instead i found this dumbfuck

Oh my god its little flailing legs. I’m dying.

infomercial bee says that there has GOT to be a better way

A better way to bee

‘ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHhhhhhh’

Dumblebee.

Museum Visitor Falls Into Giant Hole That Looks Like a Cartoonish Painting on the Floor

tyrannosaurus-trainwreck:

Anish Kapoor finally fucking did it, folks.

Museum Visitor Falls Into Giant Hole That Looks Like a Cartoonish Painting on the Floor

So I know you may not be able to answer, but after your recent post on zoo breeding and genetics, I’ve always been curious – are there ever any interesting “mishaps” or accidents that happen in zoo breeding that the public doesn’t know about?

zookeeperproblems:

This is a really interesting question! When it comes to breeding mishaps, it depends on the individual institution’s policy to tell the public about it or not. Some zoos are pretty open about accidental hybrids, weak young, etc. while others are pretty private. If you’re curious, here’s a little list of what breeding “whoopsies” might look like…

Aww, these birds are nesting together even though they’re different species, isn’t that swee- WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE EGG IS FERTLE

why did we put a species that hides their eggs in an exhibit where their nests are already so hard to find????

Guess what can fit through that fence~

The primate figured out where the birth control pill was hidden in her food

The primate’s buddy groomed out her birth control implant

We ran out of birth control and it’s taking forever to come in

Turns out breeding season wasn’t over and we didn’t get the memo

We have 200+ of these animals in a single area, your guess is as good as mine – a novel written collaboratively by aquarists and keepers of free-range small mammals and birds

Let’s put a tiny net in the life support system and catch all the floating eggs in this tank. I wonder what – oh okay it hatched out already…

I did NOT think those two could hybridize

What do you mean there was a typo in the studbook

They were together for less than an hour!

I’m sorry did you just say this one is hermaphroditic?

Guess what just hatched. Nope, guess again.

Quarantine just called – looks like she was pregnant when she got here

We were told she could never have babies again

We were told he was too old to be fertile anymore

“So it’s not a male… and it’s pregnant.”

“So our ‘male’ animal laid eggs this morning…”

SERIOUSLY WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THESE TWO COULD HYBRIDIZE

steampunktendencies:

A steam train after a boiler explosion.

1dietcokeinacan:

superluminalflower:

this is probably the funniest thing i have ever seen

This acting…………….where is his Oscar

k-th-rn:

tilthat:

TIL the first taxidermy walrus was much larger and smoother than a live walrus, as the taxidermist had never seen one before and overstuffed it to get rid of the wrinkles.

via ift.tt

I mean, if I’d never seen a walrus I’d probably think they looked like that, especially if I’d seen seals before. Aside from that, it’s a good job.

cacklebarnacle:

bunjywunjy:

rjzimmerman:

From the Facebook pages of Project Coyote/Classic Cars USA:

Last week on my way to work in the early morning, a coyote darted in front of my car and I hit it. I heard a crunch and believed I ran over and killed it. Upon stopping at a traffic light by my work, a construction woman notified me that there was in fact a coyote still embedded in my car. When I got out to look, this poor little guy was looking up and blinking at me. I notified Alberta fish and wildlife enforcement right away who came to rescue him. Miraculously, he was freed and had minimal injuries despite having hitched a ride from Airdrie to Calgary at highway speeds! Their biologist checked him over and gave him the good to go. They released him in Kananaskis. Clearly mother nature has other plans for this special little guy!
-Georgie Knox

FOOD CHAIN, BABYYYyYyy

This is the moment when you really want a car to be registered in Northeim, Germany.

I had to look this up. Not only is it not fake, it happened another time with another coyote, and once with an eagle stuck in a luggage rack. Sometimes animals are simultaneously very lucky and extremely unlucky.