Some Venom (the organism) story ideas, separately or combined as seem good:
Venom is not terribly aware of the concept of gender and has certainly no concept of it as corresponding to any particular anatomy.
Venom basically considers all mammals to be one sort of organism, and is still waiting for Eddie to chew hraka.
Venom considers gametic reproduction to be, frankly, so primitive as to be mortifying, but doesn’t bring it up out of politeness. (Venom’s concept of politeness is not recognizable as earth-politeness.)
Venom is not able to watch television/read/etc without Eddie’s vision and language centers doing the heavy lifting.
Venom is an obligate anaerobe and finds Eddie’s ability to breathe oxygen badass (but probably wouldn’t tell him that.)
Venom thinks Eddie’s endoskeleton is hilarious: opposable thumbs! Sure, I’ll just contract a muscle to pull on a tendon to pull a lever to pull on another tendon to pull on another lever! What a great way to interact with your environment at all.
Venom doesn’t know what a slime mold is but surely it must be the pinnacle of earth’s creations.
there is something so comforting to me as a dilettante storyteller about eddie being a good-hearted dumbass with no impulse control. like theres no foreign thought processes that i have to try and simulate if i want to write his response to a problem. if eddie sees his friend in a glass case, if eddie finds out the guy hes gonna interview is dealing with wrongful death suits, if theres an alien about to get in a spaceship and go tell his people that humans are edible, the thought process is uniformly I FIX THIS NOW WITH MY TWO BARE HANDS. absolutely no consequences, all that exists in that moment is him and the crisis
but, you say. things are different now. eddie stands between venom’s predatory urges and all the rest of the planet, he has to be the reasonable one now. and i say yes. if venom wants to consume every person standing in front of them at the in n out then eddie says no dude we have to wait.
but now this is the baseline. eddie is fielding requests for living flesh at any given mealtime and he is so responsible for not procuring any. he is the rational one in the relationship now and HIS decisions are the good decisions now. eddie says to venom hey instead of eating this guy responsible for workers rights violations, we should just break into his house and steal his laptop and eat everything in his kitchen. that way we’re exercising a little more discretion and venom says I WANT TO EAT A LIVING THING THOUGH and eddie says i know baby but this is an exercise in self control
eddie lives his life as though one time he met a trickster spirit willing to grant him one wish so he wished that no matter what problems he encountered, he would always have a solution, and the spirit granted his wish on the condition that the solution must always make things worse
venom thinks dairy is hilarious. you take an animal with titties and you extract fluid from the titties and you wait until the fluid gets hard and then you put it in a sandwich. what the fuck. who does that. humans are totally fine with eating live organisms by the way when the organisms are too small to see and the entire appeal of the organisms being there is it makes the titty fluid viscous and sour. turns out you can make food out of the same animal for years at a stretch and the animal doesnt even notice as long as its gt big titties. EGGS you can eat the waste product of the unseeable organisms and its fine but try eating the waste of a seeable organism and eddie goes ballistic on you. except for the big weird balls of waste that come out of birds, eddie is fine with eating those, but only if you make them really hot first, nothing makes any fuckibg sense. eddie squashes a bug and venom goes to eat it and eddie says “no thats gross” and venom is like ITS FOOD. ITS A TINY LOBSTER AND YOU JUST EXECUTED IT SO ? and eddie says “yeah but we, humans, we dont eat bugs” and venom says THATS THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD NO WONDER YOU MORONS THINK OIL IS A GOOD ENERGY SOURCE
Imagine Eddie’s face when Venom finds out that, in fact, several other human cultures outside America eat bugs every day like it’s no big deal. One night Venom is surfing the web on Eddie’s phone to pass time while their love sleeps. They stumble upon an informational article about how many people in Thailand love snacking on grasshoppers, crickets, ant eggs, and woodworms. Their eyes light up with validation as they read that the bugs are seasoned and fried in a wok until crispy, then served to passers-by at local food markets.
Eddie is excitedly woken up at 3 AM by Venom who has some Very Important Information to share with is love. Eddie quints at the bright screen being shaken in his face and just rolls over grumbling something about waiting until morning.
the surreality of waking up at 3 in the morning because somebody is inside of your head screaming HUMANS DO EAT BUGS. YOU ARE JUST A LITTLE BITCH and your eyes open and you can only see the light of God and eventually that light resolves into a street food instagram video and you Know the food is bugs. it has been at least a month since the “we dont eat bugs” conversation and you thought it was over but Now It’s Not
Eddie walking down the sidewalk with 16 trillion bags under his eyes and an even more pronounced trudge to his step at 3:24 AM. He lifts his eyes to an absentee God as he desperately searches for a a singular shop that sells those cheese powdered mill-worms in little sealed plastic bags… Just to Settle the Great Bug Debate that’s been stealing most of his sleep for 4 painfully consecutive nights. Doesn’t even notice the pronounced raised eyebrow from the cashier as he purchases the bugs with all the pep and vigor of a Man Defeated. He hopes with what little sanity he has left that this will finally let him get some Real Sleep. Venom smugly wiggles in Eddie’s capillaries as he’s Cromching on a groggy handful of dead bugs. Venom’s victorious laughter fills Eddie’s head as he, to his weak horror, Develops an Actual Taste for Fucking Bugs.
He refuses to remain conscious after Finally Admitting that bugs Are Food. Venom pilots Eddie’s sleeping body back home happy and a Winner.
when you share a body with a carnivorous thing thats just constantly going “eddie can we eat that pigeon eddie we should ride on top of the train eddie i want this thirty dollar chocolate sundae” the bar for Intrusive Thoughts That It’s Acceptable To Follow Through On gets real low man sometimes eddie sees that goop and his lizard brain is like Eat Big Taffy Now so he just fucking j,ust bites out a mouthful of symbiote and no matter how many times he does it venom is always like “what the FUCK”
Dumb Sequel Ideas for Venom, Sony Feel Free to Use
-Venom pulling a Batman and becoming a pseudo-urban legend around the shitty sides of San Fran. Just this big hulking mystery monster that pops up out of nowhere to beat the shit out of bad guys and maybe hork down some villains’ brains. Word on the street is that you can garner his favor through king size chocolate bars and French fries.
-A potential montage:
Police: “Now you’re sure you haven’t seen this 9 ft tall leech man around here?”
Citizens 1-10, all of whom were rescued by Venom/watched Venom fold a cop car in half/punt a CEO across the Bay: “Nope”
Police: “You’re sure?”
Ms. Chen: “I think I’d know if I saw him.” (speaking over cop’s shoulder) “You ready to check out, Eddie?”
Eddie, loaded down with frozen hash browns and Hershey kisses: “Yup”
-Anne and Dan inevitably finding out. Eddie doing the shittiest job possible trying to lie.
Eddie, about the multiple selfies and videos of Venom with the public: “What, that? Isn’t that Spider-Man?? Maybe he went goth, you don’t know.”
Anne:
Anne: “Venom, come out.”
Venom, on Eddie’s shoulder: “…Hi Annie”
-When the Carnage vs Venom fight comes and Venom inevitably gets torn off Eddie, Eddie gets a solo badass moment against Carnage when he tries to kill Venom. Preferably with a flamethrower. Preferably with a cheesy-good one liner.
“Get away from him, you dick”
-Closing scene
Police, inundated with video proof: “This. This thing right here. Big toothy slime giant. Recently fought another redder toothy slime giant, in public, broad daylight. Disappeared again. Supposedly no witnesses. Sir, please. Please. Have you seen this cannibalistic pile of talking ink?”
Stan Lee: “…Isn’t that Spider-Man? I miss the old costume.”
Ok, ok. What I don’t get is why Venom has to be eating people, specifically? Like. There’s a lot of other animals out there, my dude, and even if you’re looking for something more often found in predators or what have you, you can eat predators. I mean, call me a crazy environmentalist but why isn’t Eddie Brock renting himself out for invasive species control!? Oh, the everglades are overrun with invasive pythons? Lol, not anymore. Eddie took a vacation and now Venom is fat&happy and they’ve been banging like bunnies between bouts of snake-hunting. Ain’t like Florida’s going to think it’s too weird that there’s a huge monsterman out slurping down snakes like they’re wiggly spaghetti. Let’s be honest here, Venom is already basically a ‘Florida Man’ headline. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
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