with a foundation base
Ok so how does this work with other appearance-altering products?
One vampire gets particularly good at blending, and manages to make it look like their head appears from thin air
A vamp gets their hair dyed and their hair and clothing’s all you see
Someone gets henna tattoos and all you can see are the floating patterns
One took a picture in a facemask and it’s nightmare fuel
This would be so fucking cool holy shit
Tag: Vampires
do you think vampires suck through their teeth or just use them for pucture wounds then suck your blood like youre trying to suck venom out of a snake bite
I think they bring their own reusable silicone straws, for sustainability.
No known animal on Earth sucks blood through hollow teeth. I’d suspect either gashing teeth like a vampire bat, or a terrible narwhal tusk/beak arrangement of long, thin teeth to form one puncture wound and keep it open, sucking blood between the teeth.
You know those fancy vampire fangs that mold to your teeth? Yea, I just realized I can’t ever wear them again because they’re not supposed to be worn over dental work. Which, I’m sure someone with your average filling might be able to get away with, but given the majority of my teeth are held together with dental cement and hope, I don’t think I’d like to risk it.
Tragic.
I’ll just have to be like the gammy old vampire with the awful dentures that they take in and out between meals.
You really only need the fangs to pierce the skin, anyway, so just get a handheld set and annoy babyvamps by clacking them in your fingers like sharpened castanets.
I like it when you tap into the exact aesthetic chaos of my brain I really do, because that was the exact thought I was consoling myself with haha.
If you wanna be more accurate to how vampire bats (i.e. the only known vertebrate that’s exclusively vampiric) get a meal, you need, like, a nasty sharpened spoon thing to scoop a chunk of meat out.
One of these days I’m going to write a YA novel and call it “Most Girls”.
It could be about a vampire who was turned in her late teens and always regretted never finishing her education formally and well, she’s too young looking for college but she could get a high school diploma, right? Something to hang up in the old tomb sweet tomb. So she talks her older looking vampire friends into pretending to be her parents and whacky hijinks ensue as she struggles to fit in and be like most girls but hilariously keeps getting told she’s not like most girls by everyone she meets, much to her annoyance.
“You know,“ he says inching closer beside me on the rooftop, the light of the moon casting an unearthly silver glow on the leaves and making his eyes shine all the brighter, “you’re not like most girls.”
I dip my head to hide my smile. They always scream so much when they see the fangs.
“No,” I agree inching away from him again, “I’m not.”
But maybe just for once, I think, I’d like to be…
Joy I’m fucking suing you for typing at verbatim every Neopets Vampire roleplay I took part in in 2003 and making me stare into my own soul
This is unrealistic because if a literal child walked into my university lecture I’d be like sure you probably belong here and would never question it. She could totally make it in college
Book two can be her realizing that to professors everyone looks like they’re 12 so enrolls in community college with her shiny new diploma.
Faux-vampire-mom-and-dad show up at graduation looking like if you crossed 50s nostalgia with the Addams family and cheering loudly for everyone, but especially for those who have no one else to cheer for them.
For them they cheer the loudest.
Because sometimes a family can be you, your fake spouse, your immortal undead daughter and the humans they adopt along the way.
Can Faux-vampire-mom-and-dad be younger than their immortal undead daughter?
Absolutely. There’s a hundred years difference at least. Clara and Arthur just happen to look like they’re in their late 30s.
Vampires are feared everywhere, but the Balkan region has been especially haunted. Garlic has been regarded as an effective prophylactic against vampires. We wanted to explore this alleged effect experimentally. Owing to the lack of vampires, we used leeches instead. In strictly standardized research surroundings, the leeches were to attach themselves to either a hand smeared with garlic or to a clean hand. The garlic-smeared hand was preferred in two out of three cases (95% confidence interval 50.4% to 80.4%). When they preferred the garlic the leeches used only 14.9 seconds to attach themselves, compared with 44.9 seconds when going to the non-garlic hand (p < 0.05). The traditional belief that garlic has prophylactic properties is probably wrong. The reverse may in fact be true. This study indicates that garlic possibly attracts vampires. Therefore to avoid a Balkan-like development in Norway, restrictions on the use of garlic should be considered.
SCIENCE! 😂
“Oh no,” the vampire said, tying the dinner napkin around his neck, “you smothered yourself in garlic?” Licking his lips as he pulls out salt and pepper shaker. “Whatever shall I do.”
The belief is spread by vampires, obviously
lemme tell you i am so fucking tired of angsty vampires. its enough.
give me a newly-turned twenty-something vampire who hears about their newfound immortality and is like “thank god,” then proceeds to invest in some promising startups and fucks off to take a nap for two decades
give me a vampire thats only the tiniest bit phased at the blood diet because “eh, i tried paleo a while back and it was just as weird”
give me a vampire with self image issues who never has to avoid mirrors again because – bingo – no reflection
give me a genderqueer vampire who finally has an answer when someone asks their gender. “are you a boy or a girl?” “i am a vampire.” “but whats in your pants?” “fangs.”
best of all, give me a vampire chick who is so stoked about being nocturnal because she’s never been able to walk alone after dark before and it’s nice to be able to walk her friends home and know theyre all safe with her
@thebibliosphere I know none of this is directly related so why am I still so reminded of Hunger Pangs…
Probably because this is how I write my vampires. I mean Vlad is still an angsty soul but that’s because he has mental health issues he’s been dealing with for 400 years, not because he’s a vampire. Also napping for two decades. That is him.
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