scott lang, completely misunderstanding peter parker’s power: hey if u want man we could get tiny and just like hang out, i don’t know if you’ve ever been in a lego castle but it’s pretty sweet
peter parker: u have no idea how much physical pain having to turn this offer down is causing me but,
Scott Lang, upon realizing Peter Parker can’t shrink: oh okay no biggee, we’ll just make the LEGO castle big
Tony Stark: Why is there a giant Lego castle taking up the helicopter pad and why was I not informed of this seriously this is dope as hell.
I feel that we as a fandom are not being sufficiently appreciative of Tony’s explanation of the fight with Ebony Maw being “He’s from space. He came here to steal a necklace from a wizard.”
What I love about that moment is that it shows just how good a communicator Tony is in a combat situation and how accustomed he is, by now, to command. He knew Peter wouldn’t blow him off if he said something ludicrous, so he gave him exactly what he would need to understand the situation in two bare bones sentences.
He said less than a haiku.
He didn’t even have to say which side he and Peter were on, because “from space” and “came to steal” implied that information.
And then when they actually got hold of Strange, all he had to say was “That’s the wizard” and Peter knew a) exactly what was going on and b) exactly what to do.
tony: i dont go down on women but i expect them to suck my dick and thats how KINGS live
thor a feminist:
this is fake news don’t EVER disrespect pepper like this
Didn’t he, like, canonically get pegged by gamora too lmaooooooo
Yes
Wait this was pegging? I HAD NO IDEA LIKE I WAS SO INTO THIS TONY GAMORA PANEL ALREADY AND NOW IT IS LIKE 5000000000000000 TIMES BETTER. AJSKALAKKAKAA.
I saw this and went: “Hang on now… I remember reading that. I did NOT think they were pegging.” Then I dug it out and had a closer look:
Panel two, bottom left corner — that is definitely a strap-on harness. This whole thing makes so much more sense now. I cannot believe I didn’t see that before.
Reporter in the Marvel unviverse: Anthony Stark, well-known as a generous philanthropist, the CEO of Stark Industries, and his alter-ego “Iron Man,” under fire today after a controversial video he posted to his personal Vine account went viral. The short footage showed Stark in the passenger seat of a car, driving by an anti-homosexual rally, repeatedly shouting “I love sucking [expletive for male genitalia]” out of the open window.
A+ Concept, I love it, I’m dying, it’s too good.
It becomes the hottest new meme throughout the US. Every single time there’s some homophobic rally, Hell, every time there’s a rally held by homophobes whether or not the rally was ABOUT homophobia there’s now teens doing drive-by’s being like “Ahem, this one is for Tony Stark – I LOVE SUCKING [expletive for male genitalia]”. The meme keeps escalating as people find newer and funnier ways to bleep out what they are saying in real time and on Vine. The most popular way? The sound of a repulser charging up.
The whole thing drives homophobes crazy. They hate it so much, it literally has some people trying to create their own counter meme (”I love sucking UP TO JESUS”) that goes very very badly (exactly how you’d expect). So, out of options, they try to sue Tony.
Everybody should know better than to sue Tony.
His lawyers tear them apart. There’s an unholy grin on Tony’s face during the entire publicized case – he’s in a rainbow suit. He’s in rainbow shades. He’s wearing a harness over his suit and his shoes literally leave glitter footprints everywhere he goes. His tie says “I love sucking [REPULSER NOISE]”. Twitter goes nuts. A still of Tony from the trial, one where he is sarcastically blowing pink glitter into the face of a woman trying to hit him with a picket sign, becomes a reaction image nobody can resist. You wanna represent how tired you are of homophobic comments? That’s your image. It’s usually coupled by one of Rhodey in the background, military dress uniform smeared in glitter and a blatant glittery kiss mark pressed to his cheek, staring at the ceiling and praying for death.
Listen this is the best addition to my post and im both writing this into a fic and drawing fan art for it @purgatoryandme
I’m pretty sure that if you put this in front of RDJ he would provide us with actual footage of these things.
posts that imply shuri wouldn’t be 100% delighted to have her new lab assistant be tony stark baffle me. she’s not mean, she’s not gonna be like ‘fuck you you’re LESS INTELLIGENT THAN I AM’ she’s gonna put that grown ass man to work and make him throw blueberries across the room so she can catch them in her mouth
Hello just imagine baby!DUM-E freaking out the first time Tony’s stomach rumbles because “Creator-Unit is damaged! HE DOESN’T HAVE PROTOCOLS FOR STRANGE RUMBLES? Will bringing Creator-Unit a screwdriver help? There is no access to fix the rumbles! Is Creator-Unit broken? Maybe he should bring Creator-Unit a smoothie? It doesn’t creak but maybe a covering will help? DUM-E NEEDS TO FIX!!!”
Tony looked at his creation proudly. Only a few days old and DUM-E was already acting, well, almost perfectly. Well, he was trying his best and that was what counted. He was turning to one of the other projects whose plans he had strewn across his desk, thinking of how much more he could accomplish now when his stomach rumbled, an annoying reminder that his body was long overdue sustenance, given the fact that he hadn’t eaten that day. Or the day before really. He was considering leaving in a few hours, maybe getting some pizza or something when DUM-E came rolling over. If a robot without a face could look concerned, this one did.
“Hey, DUM-E, what’s wrong?”
Tony looked around frantically, searching for the flames or smoke that was worthy of such concern. Was something exploding? imploding? spontaneously combusting?
DUM-E kept bumping against his arm gently, holding out a screwdriver.
“Uh, thanks?” Tony accepted it, and DUM-E looked relieved for just a moment until Tony set it down whereupon he got his concerned look again and sped off. Tony sat in a bemused silence, waiting to see where this would go before DUM-E brought back a smoothie, whose main component seemed to be motor oil. Tony was genuinely touched if very confused.
“DUM-E, I can’t drink this.” He set it down beside him and saw the bot speed off towards another pile of tools.
“JARVIS?” Tony asked, “What’s DUM-E doing?”
“Well, sir.” JARVIS answered, trying to communicate with the agitated bot. “He’s concerned that you’re malfunctioning.”
“Malfunctioning?”
“Your stomach was rumbling. He is afraid of the problems that may be causing it. And he has no protocols for this.”
Tony watched DUM-E try to mess through the tools on the desk, trying so hard to figure out which one could fix him and definitely did not tear up a tiny bit.
“DUM-E, I’m going to go fix myself, okay? Thanks for trying to help.”
Tony hadn’t planned on eating for another few hours but with DUM-E so concerned…..
JARVIS explained what had happened while Tony was gone. And yet, even so, whenever Tony hadn’t eaten in too long, whenever his stomach was particularly loud in protest DUM-E would come rolling over. And Tony would mumble something about how that was stupid, he was fine, one of these days he was going to donate that programming- but he would go upstairs and eat.
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