In all fairness, it’s possible last time Thor had to speak English on a frequent basis was in the 16th century, but then he’s spent some time here and he has Updated His Language Pack™ now
I kinda like to imagine what it would be like if it just… did not occur to Loki that Hela was gonna be genuinely evil about taking over Asgard. Anywhere else, sure, fine, he doesn’t care, but that’s not what you do with Asgard.
(Of course, on one hand, it absolutely did occur to him, he’s cowardly in many ways but not ignorant. On the other hand, following this thought thread for the pure amusement of it, Hela basically seemed to be the sincerely evil conqueror this chaotic neutral dandy been trying to be for the past few years but better, he would absolutely throw a fit and not think about it.)
Like, Loki landed on trash planet and was like, “Welp, I have been sorely, embarrassingly outmatched by a sibling I never knew I had, who is me but better at it. I live here in this trash heap now. I’m going to become the kept floozy of a madman until I murder him and also get smashed at 8 am for the rest of my millennia-long life while wallowing in my misery.”
Then Thor shows up and is like, “Loki, get your ass out of someone else’s bed, we need to go back and save Asgard from our villainous sister.”
Loki’s desperately like, “Uh no, you embarrassed me in front of everyone? I would kill everyone in this room and then myself before I ever went back to Asgard now. Go away. I’m plotting to rule this trash heap, where I now live.”
And Thor replies, “It suits you perfectly. One problem. Our ‘villainous’ sister’s usurpation of the throne involves actually killing our people. She didn’t take over Asgard just to build great golden statues of herself, flirt with the entire court, eat grapes languidly, drink of all Dad’s good booze, and watch glorifying plays about herself while wearing Dad’s fanciest bathrobes. She’s not like you. She’s actually killing our people.”
And Loki’s just… completely flabbergasted, despite the fact that Hela’s first action was to make a very good go at trying to kill them both (completely normal thing to do in the Asgardian royal family, really).
Bruce has set up a makeshift lab in Wakanda, while the world takes stock of their dead and Wakanda mourns for their king. Bruce isn’t doing anything important, but he needs to do something, so he studies Wakanda’s vibranium supply and attempts to keep Shuri busy.
Otherwise, the grief might just be too much for the both of them to bear.
Bruce also tries very hard not to think about Tony and what form of matter Tony may or may not be at this very moment. He’s only moderately successful.
It’s on the third day of the second week after half of the world has turned to ash that Thor brings Bruce a little green snake. Bruce is baffled, but he tried to be polite about it. Bruce is heartsick, though, so that makes everything a little harder.
Then Thor asks for Bruce to see if the snake is Loki, and it takes every bit of willpower Bruce Banner poses to not burst into tears. Thor is so strong and so keen to smile, he makes it so easy for everyone to forget that he has lost nearly everything.
Bruce pokes at the snake without any further complaints. When nothing happens, the grief on Thor’s face is unimaginable.
Bruce begins spending time with both Thor and Shuri, in a desperate attempt to combat his own grief by combatting theirs.
All the while, every second or third day, Thor brings Bruce a small green animal and asks Bruce to see if it his lost brother. Bruce checks every time, with care and precision, but the result is always negative. It’s awful for both of them, but Thor can’t seem to stop and Bruce doesn’t know how to make him.
This pattern holds for a few weeks, until Thor brings Bruce a beaten and battered lizard. It’d been burned somehow and it looked like one of its limbs had been badly broken. When Thor presents it to him, Bruce honestly isn’t sure if Thor had just brought the little thing to Bruce to see if it could be saved.
“Could you check?” Thor asks, the question quiet and hurt after so many weeks of negative results from Bruce’s prodding and poking.
“Of course,” Bruce says softly, adding his portion of the call and response.
He gingerly picks up the lizard, as the poor also looks like he’d been through the wringer, and gives him a quick once over. Bruce’d been right about the broken leg and the burns were pretty –
The lizard fucking turns into Loki. A damaged, burnt Loki who scuttles backward on a broken leg while spitting blood.
Thor bursts into tears. Bruce bursts out laughing. Everyone has their own way of processing grief and shock and grief turned into shock, apparently.
It’s later, when they’ve gotten Loki a little patched up, convinced Okoye not to kill Loki (”He tried to destroy the world!” she says – “He’s gotten better,” Bruce says), and Thor’s eyes were mostly dry, that Loki finally says through clenched, bloodied teeth:
“They’re in a pocket dimension.”
“Who?” Bruce whispers, stunned.
“Everyone. I told him he’d never be a god. He was just a warlord playing at being something powerful. He should’ve fucking listened.”
joke: loki has his hair greased down all the time because he’s a greasy boy
woke: loki has his hair greased down all the time because he’s learned since childhood that if his large electric brother thor so much as high-fives him without it being slicked back he’ll be walking around for the rest of the day with it sticking up straight in the air from static, looking like a very frightened cat
okay but the screenwriter for Thor: Ragnarok is obviously intimately aware of what it’s like to have siblings because like…the snake scene? Bickering at every opportunity? Throwing things at each other for no real reason? “You know this guy?” “I have no idea who this person is”? Smirking when your sibling does something cool because ‘nothing but respect for MY sibling’ and then turning around and punching each other in the face right afterward? Stabbing each other for fun and then going ‘oh come on you big baby, that didn’t even hurt’? The fucking ‘Get Help’ scene? Like bruh…that is some Truth in Hollywood right there
In honor of this post reaching 10K notes, I have more examples of Siblinghood Done Right in Ragnarok:
*parent leaves the area* “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”
“You’re just…the worst.”
*internally* bitch I am the only one that gets to kill my sibling back off!
That little conciliatory pat on the back Loki gives to Thor after Thor says “Jane and I dumped each other”
“I swear I left it right here”
*casually talking to each other about something mundane with the underlying threat of violence everpresent in both of your voices*
casual jibes and banter about the way each other dresses (“Why would I do that? I’m not a witch.” “Then why do you dress like one?”)
“YES! THAT’S WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE!”
but also the concealed worry about your sibling getting actually hurt, even though you know they’ll probably be fine
Loki’s extremely obvious eyerolling when those girls approach Thor in public and ask for a selfie
*sibling walks in while you’re trying to cause trouble and enjoy yourself* “oh shit”
T’challa at age 5: Baba, when I am older, I will join the Dora Milaje and protect the throne and our country!!
Thor at age 5: FATHER WHEN I GROW UP, I’M GONNA BE A VALKYRIE AND RIDE A WINGED HORSE AND HIT THINGS WITH MY SWORRRRRDDDD
This totally happened
But since this likely DID happen – can you imagine how amazed Thor will be once he hears about the Dora Milaje?
the real story here tho
Valkyrie meeting the Dora Milaje, these beautiful strong warrior women who fight as one. Okoye, who looks at her with cool and assessing eyes and nods, a slight incline of her head as regal as any queen.
“Sister,” Okoye calls her, and leads her to the armoury because while they can all fight alone, none should have to.
fun fact of the day: this started out as a traditional drawing that i drew in class and some marvel fanboy yelled at me for making marvel gay so i’ve immortalized it
i loved this bit because it was obviously taika waititi making commentary on the conjunction of valkyries, amazons, and dora milaje in this year’s movies. 😀
i love this bit because the valkyrie preceeded thors birth by centuries and he gives a thumbs up after ‘about time’ like he absolutely knows he just said something dumb as hell but is stuck with it now
“said something dumb as hell but is stuck with it now“ = thor in a nutshell
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