Dumb Sequel Ideas for Venom, Sony Feel Free to Use
-Venom pulling a Batman and becoming a pseudo-urban legend around the shitty sides of San Fran. Just this big hulking mystery monster that pops up out of nowhere to beat the shit out of bad guys and maybe hork down some villains’ brains. Word on the street is that you can garner his favor through king size chocolate bars and French fries.
-A potential montage:
Police: “Now you’re sure you haven’t seen this 9 ft tall leech man around here?”
Citizens 1-10, all of whom were rescued by Venom/watched Venom fold a cop car in half/punt a CEO across the Bay: “Nope”
Police: “You’re sure?”
Ms. Chen: “I think I’d know if I saw him.” (speaking over cop’s shoulder) “You ready to check out, Eddie?”
Eddie, loaded down with frozen hash browns and Hershey kisses: “Yup”
-Anne and Dan inevitably finding out. Eddie doing the shittiest job possible trying to lie.
Eddie, about the multiple selfies and videos of Venom with the public: “What, that? Isn’t that Spider-Man?? Maybe he went goth, you don’t know.”
Anne:
Anne: “Venom, come out.”
Venom, on Eddie’s shoulder: “…Hi Annie”
-When the Carnage vs Venom fight comes and Venom inevitably gets torn off Eddie, Eddie gets a solo badass moment against Carnage when he tries to kill Venom. Preferably with a flamethrower. Preferably with a cheesy-good one liner.
“Get away from him, you dick”
-Closing scene
Police, inundated with video proof: “This. This thing right here. Big toothy slime giant. Recently fought another redder toothy slime giant, in public, broad daylight. Disappeared again. Supposedly no witnesses. Sir, please. Please. Have you seen this cannibalistic pile of talking ink?”
Stan Lee: “…Isn’t that Spider-Man? I miss the old costume.”
me, the eldest sibling in a fairy tale: hey idiots, watch me own the hell out of the Devil. I’m gonna be so good at it
me, ten days later, draped over my youngest sibling’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes as they saunter out of Hell: I will admit that mistakes were made.
This guy in my class likes to think he’s the only one who knows about tumblr When a girl messed up her presentation he literally held up a drawn star that said ‘you tried’ and said to me “you probably won’t get it it’s an Internet thing.”
Apparently Catch Me If You Can was going to include this con but they had to cancel the scene because when they tried to film it people kept walking up and trying to give Leo their money.
So a professor of mine used to work at a bank back in the day. She says one day a guy in professional attire and a clipboard shows up in a big moving truck. He says he’s from the home office and they’re changing all the chairs. He’s needs them to just load all their old chairs into his truck and later he’d be back with the replacements.
And that’s how they gave away their office furniture to a conman whose master plan was “Wear a tie and carry a clipboard.”
Looking professional is just a pass to do whatever the hell you want.
Put a suit on and you can get almost anywhere.
there’s more to it, look nice and ACT LIKE YOU BELONG. If you don’t look like you belong there, people will stop you.
this smacks of a chef i heard of that was tired to death that every single person ordered their eggs ‘over easy’, so asked the waitress to say ‘were out of over easy, we have plenty of scrambled’ and nobody questioned it
How low must your self image be to plan to rob a bank and all you take is some second hand chairs?
I 100% believe this was a former employee with a grudge.
Kid you not, this is how a sister store of mine got their entire dog treat bar stolen.
A couple of guys said they were with maintenance and they were there to replace the old bar with a new one and the employees were like “Seems legit” and they wheeled them out. The staff even helped them do it.
This is called a “Bavarian Fire Drill” and the trick to pulling it off is to have absolute confidence that it’s going to work. If you seem even the slightest bit nervous or hesitant, everyone will see right through it.
Case in point:
In 1906, a German con man named Wilhelm Voigt dressed up in a German Army captain’s uniform and entered the town of Köpenick claiming to be an “inspector” (inspector of what, he never specified). He managed to wrangle ten German soldiers and a sergeant into assisting him, ordered the local police to halt all telephone calls to Berlin for an hour, arrested the mayor and treasurer for nonexistent charges of crooked bookkeeping, and confiscated the town’s entire treasury complete with a receipt which he signed with his former jail director’s name. He only got caught (two weeks later) because his former cellmate blabbed, and was later pardoned by Kaiser Wilhelm II who found the whole thing hilarious.
That Kaiser is a definite bro.
This is why slytherins like to be fancy and professional looking
When you’re a trickster, it pays to be … low key.
I was hired to help test a security system once. I was sent in to a semi-large company and had to go through a list of certain objectives. My favorite one was “take something out of the building that is too big to hide on your body.“ I paired it with “get into a secured facility within the building.”
I walked in in my general business getup. Shirt, tie, jacket, nice pants, not quite “suit” because it was all just a little bit shabby and not exactly matching but not clashing. Nice briefcase. Clipboard.
Getting into the secured part was easy. Learned the name of the supervisor, told the security guard that “Cindy said they’d let me in without a problem on my first day. Something about the badges not being made fast enough.” Sure, no problem, go ahead.
Walked in, unhooked a PC tower, walked to the bathroom where I’d hidden a dolly earlier, went into a stall and changed into the outfit I’d had in the briefcase. It was what I’d consider workman’s clothes but a worker in an office, not like a construction worker.
Blue jeans, t-shirt, worker’s vest (low key), hat, good boots but 2nd hand.
Threw the tower on the mover’s dolly with a couple other things, stacked very slightly precariously but not likely to fall, walked over to the stairs leading down, and started going down to the way out, which I knew had a security guard on it.
As soon as I saw him see me I stumbled and yelled out. He came running over and helped stabilize everything. Helped me down the stairs. Held the door open for me and told me to “have a nice day” as I left. Never asked for my badge or even where I was going with the stuff.
Act like you know what you’re doing. Look like you belong. Be confident.
That’s 75% of it right there.
That is some Moist Von Lipwig bullshit right there and I am fucking delighted.