today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”
this post had me in tears
I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they’re not, so I’ll add my story for anyone else looking for more laughs:
I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between “I have to pay a fine” and “I have to pay a fee” and I walked in and firmly stated “I have to pee” and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven’t been back,
My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so I tried to say “quick” and “fast” at the same time and I ended up screaming “QUACK” which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn
Recently someone in class asked me how I was doing and I started off saying I was good but switched to I’m okay in the middle and ended up saying “I’m gay.”
Which, while kind of accurate, was not what I meant to announce to my classmate.
This Halloween I was handing out candy and a child said “trick or treat” and I smiled gave them their candy and apparently my mouth betrayed me and I said “Merry Christmas” and proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky for answers while their mother laughed at me :)))))
I was switching between “Bye Deanna” and “Goodbye” and I ended up saying “Go Die”
Sometimes I try to say “I fucking love you” but it comes out in the wrong order and then everyone’s uncomfortable.
When I first started my coffee shop job, I was still getting used to greeting customers as they came in the door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to say, “How are you doing?” and “What’s up?” I ended up demanding “What are you doing here?!”
something really cool happened once at the office and i started to say “i’m so amazed” but halfway through my mind changed to “that’s really amazing” and i just ended up saying “i’m really so amazing”
one time i was out in the woods in the spring when the birds were just beginning to come out again and i went to say “i’m so pumped for the birds” and “i’m so hyped for the birds” and instead i said “i’m so humped for birds”
Once I was walking to school and there was a guy walking his dog and the dog came to me and started sniffing me and I was in such a good mood and when I passed by his owner I wanted to say like “hello” or “good morning” or “cute dog” or something like that and I ended up looking up at him, smiling real big, and saying “thank you”.
I was at the convenience store and I was going to buy a drink, but i dropped my keys and the drink when I got to the register so I got caught between “my drink!” and “my keys” and ended up screaming “MY KINK.”
I walked up to this register,in a target. When the cashier finished checking me out she said have a good day, and i wanted to say “You have a good day” and “You too” so it came out “You have a good do do”
I FUCKIN H HIT MY HEAD ON A CHAIR FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD AT THIS FUCKING POS T
There’s so many new stories on this since the last time I saw it and fuck I am laughing so hard I think I’m annoying my roommate
These are too damn good to pass up reading!
That poor man in the coffee shop. “but…Caffeine?!?”
Oh fuck… I just woke up my husband. It’s 4 am and I’m giggling like mad. “Go… The fuck… To sleep…” More giggles … lmao
Drift’s neck is super sensitive, and when his partner kisses or nibbles it in the right way, he breaks out into giggles that can’t be stopped. Some partners give up and let him calm down, others just grin and encourage the tickles.
Rung’s back, where his backpack is, is super sensitive when the backpack is gone. So there he is, face down, getting proper fucked, when his partner ghosts a breath over his spinal strut, and Rung makes the most embarrassing snort-laugh. He asks his partner to ignore it, but it’s just too adorable to forget!
Rodimus gets sensitive all over when fragged, but his biolights especially are sensitive. His partner thought licking over one would be sexy. Nope. Rodimus laughs so hard his body tenses and almost forces his partner out. There’s no going back. Full out tickle wars ensue.
Minimus Ambus, of course, is ticklish all over. If you tickle him he will cite the Autobot rulebook over cruel and unusual punishments and the mood is dead.
Ratchet’s hands are sensitive, but his wrists and pedes are ticklish as fuck. He usually yells ‘QUIT IT’ if you tickle him though, in that medic way that makes you listen.
If you touch Windblade’s head kibble the right way in interfacing, she will squeal and giggle high enough to glitch audials, but she’s so darn cute it’s hard to not do again. She also kicks her feet in the air.
Starscream refuses to admit that he laughs when the base of his wings are touched, but he totally does, and it’s hilarious to watch him stifle his laughs when someone’s touching them and interfacing with him.
If you tickle Prowl, he gets up and flips the bed over. 0/10 would not reccomend.
i googled “protest stock photo” because i was curious to see how they would handle the subject matter while maintaining the inoffensive, generic marketability of most stock images and i don’t know what i expected but uh
Do u think Hulk just spouts random shit in Bruce’s head during the day that makes Bruce laugh and he always writes it down and eventually makes a twitter account Just For Hulk’s Bullshit and it becomes an extremely popular account and people are unsure if its just a shitpost generator or if its actually Bruce Banner quoting the Hulk
most popular tweet:
“how do i explain this woman on the subway that im not laughing at her, im laughing cause hulk saw me read about water levels rising up and said ‘hulk promise he pooped in ocean only once. hulk very sorry’”
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