glumshoe:

Today, I facilitated a high ropes course that involves climbing up a tree, then walking across a tightrope to another tree. Sometimes the kids will decide that you have to kiss the second tree before coming down. Others will just hug it.

Today, my campers decided that the tree needed to be humanized with a name. They determined that it needed to have a gender-neutral name because everyone was kissing it and might not all be attracted to the same gender. Some names were suggested, like Alex, Chris, Sam, Ray/Rey, and Jess.

Then it was Carrie Fisher’s child doppelgänger’s turn, and everyone universally agreed that the tree should be named Han Solo. Even the boys were eager to kiss a tree named Han Solo. There were no arguments or wrinkled noses.

kaity–did:

There was a little girl in church, about 5, and her parents obviously let her get dressed herself that day because she came waddling in with the puffiest coat on in the summer in North Carolina. She comes and sits in the pew in front of us. 15 minutes into mass she turns around and hands my husand an orange. Her parents are mortified.

“Savannah not again!” They sold! (Again kills me)

They appologize and she turns back around. A few moments later she goes to hand me an orange but her parents grab it from her before she can.

Savannah is determined. She reaches her tiny fists into her puffy coat and pulls out two more ornages. She begins to distribute them. Her parents are now beat red and in shock.

This small child proceeds to laugh a laugh I can only call manical (in a Catholic church) unzip the inner line of her coat and releases what had to have been 20-30 of those little kid oranges into the pews.

WE EAT Savannah yells cackeling

The priest can no longer contain his glee

The entire church is dying with laughter

She felt like Jesus on the moutian with the baskets of fish that day I’m sure.

Children are amazing.

anightvaleintern:

stvolga:

why do all children know the floor is lava game do we all just learn it from older children and inadvertently share it with each other like some natural inevitable cycle why do children discover the floor and the concept of gravity and up and down and suddenly pretend to be afraid of it why do we play with the physical limitations of our world 

This has been explored.  Apparently there is a thing called Children Culture.  Some of the skipping songs and jump rope songs we learned as kids have no known origin as ever having been written or performed by adults.  Some games have no known origins as well.  Essentially, kids like to tell each other things and pass them around and sometimes if something particularly cool or interesting gets made, the entire school learns it.  And then those kids teach their siblings or cousins or friends from other schools and they teach their whole school until it becomes a whole mass knowledge thing by all kids and continues to be for years and years.

It’s conceivable that the lava game is another aspect of kid culture.

I know my kids don’t seem to know it and they were pretty separated from other kids growing up.

kisskissfuckshitup:

kisskissfuckshitup:

kisskissfuckshitup:

kisskissfuckshitup:

kisskissfuckshitup:

kisskissfuckshitup:

kids are fuckin wild dude,,,

i walked out of my apartment this morning and a five year old kid was playing outside and immediately he pointed at my aparment and was like “some chinese people used to live there. now someone else does”

and i was like… you mean that one? and pointed at my apartment, the one i literally just walked out of

and he was like “yeah”

and i was like……….. yeah…

the other day I was coming back from work and as I’m walking up to my apartment, he runs up to me with two fistfuls of grass and yells DON’T STEP ON THIS GRASS IT’S FOR THE BUNNIES and drops it in the middle of the sidewalk and i’m just like okay!! 😀

this morning I left for work and I heard a tapping noise, so I looked up and he was in the second floor window waving goodbye

today I was walking to my door and he ran up to me and yelled DID YOU KNOW SOMEONE IS COMING and i was like WHOA NO WHO’S COMING

and he tells the girl beside him YOU TELL HIM so she tells me “there’s a guide coming! and he’s invisible!” and ofc i’m like WHOA THAT’S SO COOL and the boy tells me that he’s arriving by helicopter. and the helicopter is also invisible and you can’t hear it either! so I ask why he’s coming and they tell me it’s because it’s his birthday and he’ll be here at exactly 6:00

they’re gonna ring my doorbell at 6 so I can tell the invisible man in the invisible helicopter happy birthday before he flies away

so i said happy birthday to him and they showed me his invisible helicopter and then informed me that I misheard them and that the invisible man was, in fact, God

okay so TODAY i came home from work and he came up to me and was like “i rang your doorbell earlier” and so I told him I wasn’t home and asked what he needed me for and he was like

“i had a question”

so I was like alright what was your question

and he goes “do you have a kitchen?” and I was like… uhh yeah I’ve got a kitchen

and he was like okay and walked away

naamahdarling:

shadowkat678:

spiletta42:

thaxted:

santheum:

oldtoadwoman:

pftones3482:

idiagroena:

prokopetz:

basiacat:

basiacat:

that’s not………. how child speech works…………………………………………..

god okay in an attempt to be less of an asshole, here’s how child speech DOES work (or tend to work, at least)

  • kids tend to hypercorrect — this means that they tend to say things like “sleeped” instead of “slept,” “writed” instead of “wrote,” “goed” instead of “went,” etc
  • kids tend not to make errors such as omitting verbs (“i hungry”)
  • kids also tend not to make errors in the i/me, she/her department (“me am hungry”)
  • simplification of difficult sounds — consonant clusters especially, so things like st, sp, ps, etc., as well as f, v, th-sounds, ch-sounds, etc.
  • “babbling”-type utterances (“apwen” for “airplane,” using one babbly word for multiple objects, things like that) generally occur in children under the age of three and a half
  • say it with me: an eight-year-old child is not going to be saying “me hungwy”
  • do not confuse child speech with stereotypical learner english mistakes, that’s not only incorrect but also gross on the stereotypical learner english front (“me love you long time,” anybody?)
  • if you’re going to write kidfic please do some * research

Totally. It can be helpful to remind yourself that young children tend to speak as though the English language actually made sense. Our brains are pattern-recognising machines: children are really, really good at puzzling out the implicit rules of the English language, but they don’t necessarily know all the silly exceptions and bizarre edge cases that break those rules yet – those can only be learned through experience and rote memorisation.

Basically, when children who speak English as a first language make mistakes, it typically reflects a tendency to treat English as more grammatically, syntactically, and/or orthographically consistent than it really is. In some cases, this can be compounded by the fact that some kids will get offended at how little sense “proper” English makes, and insist upon using the more consistent forms even though they know very well that they’re technically “wrong”.

for a long young portion of my life I insisted on pronouncing Sean “SEEN” because that’s how it’s spelled.

As someone who spends a good majority of her time working with kids, it irks me to no end when I see children written as if they’re babies.

Past the age of about five or six years old, children can have deep, intellectual conversations about the most bizarre of things. I HAD A CONVERSATION LAST WEEK WITH FOUR THIRD GRADERS ABOUT THE GAS PRICES AND TAXES IN HAWAII.

Were they entirely correct in the facts they were giving? No, because it was all from what they had heard from parents or on the news. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I was having a genuine conversation with four eight and nine year olds about taxes.

Just about the only speech problems most kids have, unless they have a speech impediment, is not being able to pronounce certain consonants (replacing ‘th’ with ‘fw,’ for example, and some letters are harder to form with your mouth than others) and doing exactly what the person above said: using the English language the way they know how, which isn’t always the way English works.

Kids aren’t stupid. Stop writing them like they are.

I was tutoring a little kid (second grade, I think). He was complaining about a worksheet. “This is hard.” I started to correct him as I knew he was more than capable of it and this bright kid, who had obviously heard the lecture before from others, interrupted me and said: “I know. I know. It’s not really difficult. It’s just time consuming.” Some kids are spooky-smart and even quite articulate.

If you need (plotwise) to emphasize that the child is specifically childish … have them tell the same joke to everyone they meet, cracking themselves up before they get to the punchline … have them ask “Why?” incessantly … have them fidgeting and possibly breaking things (”Oops.” “What?” “Nothing!” “WHAT?!”) … and if you have more than one kid, even of the same age, you don’t have to write them at the same intelligence level or emotional maturity. Some kids are messy and some are obsessively neat. Some are quiet, some loud. Some giggly, some surly. They basically come in the same range of personalities as adults. 

If you don’t want to invest a lot of time writing dialog for kids, just establish that you have a quiet kid. But a kid who gives single-word answers is usually doing so because they don’t like you (or trust you) or they are focused on their own thing and you’re interrupting them. It doesn’t mean they lack the vocabulary or that they don’t understand the adult conversation going on “over their head” (the more inappropriate the conversation, the more likely the kids are paying attention).

I have jabbed the back button so many times on terrible kid fic. This is an excellent resource – kid fic, when done well, is a real treat for me.

The only children I have ever met who did say things like “me hungwy” were the ones who had figured out that if they sounded “adorable” they could wrap adults around their precious little fingers. Kids get it.

Good resource for people who write but spend no time with children.

“KIDS GET IT”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS

In my experience, kids five and up* converse basically like less-educated but still-intelligent adults with smaller vocabularies, a slightly more sketchy understanding of grammar, and really delightful (and often gross) senses of humor.

They are people.  Real people with complex thoughts and inner lives, strong opinions, and the ability to draw accurate conclusions about the people around them and their motives with surprisingly little to go on.  And writing them well is actually a hell of a lot of fun.

Kids are cool.  Write them like it.

* I don’t have much experience with kids younger than this, but I know I was able to read at three, so never, ever underestimate the intelligence of children, for purposes of fic or anything else.

Kids are smart. They haven’t learned much yet, but they’re smart. 

toddnyallison:

gallusrostromegalus:

gallusrostromegalus:

Hi I just got back from the BEST eclipse party with the kids at Durango Elementary, my faith in the future is restored.

  • Someone made “eclipse cookies” which are sable cookies with a dark center and a pale crescent or corona, good job PTA Mom Jennifer
  • Kids were SO HYPE for the eclipse, and were thrilled to explain it over and over to me
  • Great grasp of orbital physics for a bunch of 5-10 year olds
  • Someone’s dad brought in a theremin?
  • The whole school is space-themed this week.
  • I watched a 4th-grader give a presentation on abiogenesis and how different planets may have things like nitrogen-beased lifeforms and holy fuck that was rally cool???
  • I think it;s the theremin-dad’s kid.
  • Bless the small child trying to hold his glasses up to the iguana so he could see it too.
  • Also bless all the teachers in FMA/Little Shop of Horrors/Avatar shirts.
  • Kids had a great time , Adults had a good time, everyone had a great time.
  • Like really, I believe in the post-millenials .  They can make Starfleet Happen.

WAIT SHIT THERE’S MORE:

  • Someone from the Southern Ute tribe came down to talk about their mythology regarding the eclipse but I got there just when he was wrapping up and missed most of it 😦
  • Other ppl from Spellbinders Storytellers were there with other tales about the eclipse.  I got to hear about a Chinese astronomer who made the first written records of a solar eclipse and possibly a supernova
  • Kids had a voting jar for their favorite astronaut.  Mae C. Jemmison is currently in the lead, but at least some of the kids think she’s Uhura.  Oh well.
  • Lovecraftian child attempting to open a portal to another world by drawing sigils in the tam-bark.  You go kid.  
  • Someone made a planetary model of the eclipse out of cake.  I got a slice of the Sea Of Tranquility.
  • Pack of ten-year-olds debating the best way to terraform mars, and whether we should move all the animals there, because earth is polluted, or whether all the humans should leave earth because we don’t deserve it.  It was an extremely serious discussion.

I love kids and this is why