Things Judaism values, in order

animatedamerican:

captainlordauditor:

thenerdyjew:

captainlordauditor:

  1. remaining alive
  2. learning
  3. being a fighty bitch
  4. spite
  5. being kind, when you can
  6. being nice to ghosts

7. Food

8. Music (Jewish/Israeli)

9. Holidays

holidays is just food

if I may:

  1. remaining alive
    1. subset:

      (ง’̀-‘́)ง , as needed

  2. making sure others remain alive
    1. subset:

      (ง’̀-‘́)ง , as needed

  3. learning
    1. subset:

      (ง’̀-‘́)ง  in an academic context, as needed

  4. being kind
    1. subset: you guessed it
  5. food
    1. (ง’̀-‘́)ง  over whose family recipe is better

  6. music
    1. we will find SOME WAY 

spite is not listed here because it’s really just flavor text for all of the above

kaleighbytheway:

just-shower-thoughts:

As an atheist, putting my hand on the Bible and saying an oath before testifying to a court is less likely to get me to tell the truth than a pinkey promise

When my parents were fighting for custody, I was old enough to have a say, so they put me under oath to assure I was being honest with my feelings. Using my best serious face, knowing what was coming, when offered the bible to swear on, I requested to swear on the secretary’s hole punch, “because it’s far more honest. It says it’s going to punch a hole, and it does, best God I’ve seen today.” My mom buried her face in her hands, my dad sighed and rubbed his forehead. The judge almost choked on his water before telling the bailiff “find this young lady a hole punch!”