do you remember that time when Chris Pine was doing his strong-in-control-captain-Kirk-actor-y-thing and then suddenly fell sideways straight through a wall? and the time he sat in the captains chair and totally was flipped backwards in a somersault right out of the seat? or the time he got hit in the face by that door? or the time he laughed so hard in the dumb wonderful dubsmash it looked like he actually fell over right out of the frame? or the time he accidentally broke his finger on a wooden table? or the thousand times they couldn’t film scenes because he was laughing too much and had infected the other actors until they were all uselessly laughing to a chorus of “pine, no, pine, no—stOP PINE”
I just want to share this because I’m dying at Chris Pine’s air guitar in the background. I hate him. I hate him. How dare he be good at so many things in life. How dare he.
Bigfoot: Has a very warm hug that seems to fully envelop you in shaggy hair that smells like fresh earth and pine needles. Be careful though, Bigfoot tends to get a little overzealous and has been known to pull back muscles.
9/10 would hug again
El Chupacabra: You’re being sniffed the entire time and this strange creature smells like warm copper and sage brush. The hug itself isn’t bad, even if it’s a little spiny. After the hug you’re invited over for “a bite.”
6/10 would hug again as the other four took up the secondary offer
Jersey Devil: You might be a tad nervous about this one, but this is a surprisingly good hug. Leathery wings wrap around you as that large head nuzzles your neck leaving you smelling faintly of brimstone and…. wait… where’s my wallet?
4/10 would have their bus money stolen leaving them stranded in New Jersey again
Mothman: So SOFT oh my gosh, A hug from Mothman brightens your day and is like being cuddles by cotton balls that smell like drier sheets. You’re also covered in moth scales from those massive winds, can be re-purposed later as eye shadow.
10/10 would give a big hug again
Nessie: In this case you are going to be doing most of the hugging, but she will happily nuzzle her great head into your chest. A somewhat slippery embrace with lots of chin scratches, Before she disappears into the murky depths below she licks your face.
10/10 would be nuzzled again
Skunk Ape: Kinda like bigfoot, the hug itself is awesome, good reach and very secure. Problem here is the smell of this poor fella. You’d describe it as a mix between that liquid that collects at the bottom of a fast-food dumpster and an outhouse at a music festival.
3/10 would hug again but 10/10 would wave from a safe distance
Wendigo: You never knew a hug could be so cold and yet so grabby at the same time, plus the smell of carrion hangs in the air and frost is starting to cling to your skin. How about you make your excuses and head for home?
So, trying out a new pet-name, I decided to call my wife “Vanilla Bean”– just giving it a go because vanilla is my favorite flavor and beans are cute and she’s my favorite and also cute.
Now, apparently “Vanilla” is plain and boring and baby did not appreciate being called plain and boring, and so here is a list of the pet names she’s given me in last few minutes:
BettSplendens Tumblr Evac 