Tag: pure

iopele:

sergle:

shitmygaywifesays:

So, trying out a new pet-name, I decided to call my wife “Vanilla Bean”– just giving it a go because vanilla is my favorite flavor and beans are cute and she’s my favorite and also cute. 

Now, apparently “Vanilla” is plain and boring and baby did not appreciate being called plain and boring, and so here is a list of the pet names she’s given me in last few minutes:

– My saltine cracker

– The concept of Kansas

– My dearest manila folder

– That beige color they paint offices

– Bleached white rice

– You blank word document, you

– My perfect suburbs Republican

– Tap water

@ochidump

if this isn’t Rodimus giving Ultra Magnus nicknames then I don’t know what is

blackbird-brewster:

library-mermaid:

A little girl and her mom were looking at me at the coffee shop this morning and I heard her mom say “go on, it’s ok!” and the little girl shuffled up to me and said “ex-cuse me please, do you have to put on your tattoos by yourself every DAY or does your mom help you?” I am d y i n g

My niece was in the bathroom when I was in the tub and she asked if my tattoos would wash off. I told her they won’t, I’ll have them my whole life.

She asked, “Even when you die?”

I said, “Yes”

She looked me dead in the eye and said, “When you’re space dust your tattoos will be stars”