this is cause today i was at the beach and i forgot what sand smelled like so i decided to stick my nose into the sand and snort and it went absolutely not excellent
It’s not really Thanksgiving until you’re debating with your family whether you actually need to go to the ER for that.
Update: didn’t need to go to the ER bit it’s gonna be an interesting scar.
Update: still holding the leaderboard for both “Serious Injuries” and “Furniture Broken”
Final Total:
Shredded the side of my hand grating Onions
Sliced Pinky carving turkey. (Did not bleed into turkey)
Burnt hand on pan-broke spoon
Broke chair
Like, fucking destroyed
Split lip opening fridge too fast
Made kickass turkey, stuffing, twice-bakes, greens, yorkshire puddings, butternut squash soup, gingerbread and mango parfait
So Net, Win.
HOW the FUCK did you injure yourself so much making thanksgiving dinner!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
In Order:
Grated Onions with eyes closed becuase Onions are delicious but made of eye-hurting juice
My Oven is Tiny and therefore Turkey had to be broken into quarters to actually Fit, and it’s spine put up way less resistance than expected.
Oven-safe pan went into oven to cook greens, and I remembered to use the mittens THEN but not three minutes later when I had to move it off the stovetop.
Ice cream was more frozen than anticipated and spoon was shittier than anticipated
Garbage chair was 25 years old and straight-up fell apart while I was standing on it to get stuff off the top of the fridge.
Like, fucking front and back went flying.
Opened fridge too fast and almost hit my mother in the face, but instead of doing the sensible thing and stopping my arm, I put my face between her and the door instead.
I have everything neosporined and appropriately bandaged.
BettSplendens Tumblr Evac 