fruit very good, enjoy banana most. apple very cronch, grape very “sour”, orange very squirt juice all over bastion face.
raw carrot very good. cooked carrot very not. texture bad.
bird seed is not for human eat.
chili make bastion face leak all over and had to drink lots of “milk”. would do again.
apparently need drink water constant to sustain human body. taste like…nothing, very strange.
have learned hard way not to take bite out of onion.
bastion also learn that pen lid, paper, corner of tablet, clothing sleeve, bottle cap, soil, bullet, feather, hair, dvd, motor oil, lipstick, crayon, leaf, glass, miscellaneous scrap and bird poop are Not For Put In Mouth.
the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap
mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil
what does Quil do
All the time all the time
Okay so, I did this, kind of. In junior year of high school I was taking History of the Americas (very very hard tests, like at least one person is guaranteed to cry). So one day I had one of these tests when I was /sick as hell/. Like I woke up and could not breathe through my nose. Everything was snot and headache and I know it’s gross, but like I’m trying to convey how desperate the times were. I went to take a DayQuil, but could only find NyQuil in the house. So i was like “fuck it, there’s no way this could be worse. ha. Anyway i take this and get to class and like already im about to pass out so during my independent study I go out and get a coffee and a five hour energy. Thinking like “okay I’ll die, but it should balance out for a bit.” And it did, initially. But then. As soon as I walk in the doors to class, it hit and I’m looking at my friend and he’s like “did you smoke, your pupils are like fucking quarters” and I’m like “o no.” So the test starts and my brain is feeling like that substance that’s like both a liquid and a substance simultaneously. And the test format is like this huge paper. So I get going on it, and here’s what happened:
-I wrote six pages front and back in 45 minutes -I felt like I could “zoom in” “zoom out” my vision -I asked one girl if I could borrow a pen three times and she was freaked out so I had three pens on my desk -after the test I crashed HARD in the physics room and they had to push me out of a chair to wake me up -but like, I got an A on the test. So I’m not saying try it, but
i like the concept of Accidentally Sneaky Drift……like he keeps scaring the crap out of the other Not Wreckers because he doesn’t talk much and he moves very quietly so they don’t notice him until suddenly he’s just right there
which is even worse considering that he used to be a very dangerous enemy
so basically people almost murder Drift out of pure reflex on a routine basis
Kup or Springer threaten to put bells on him after the 6th dozenth time it happens.
Verity Carlo making Drift wear jingly reindeer antlers for the entire month of December, least number of accidental almost-murders of his entire time in the Wreckers
HELP I ACCIDENTALLY STARTED A PRESIDENTIAL CONSPIRACY
I MADE THIS WEBSITE LIKE 6 YEARS AGO ITS FAKE
EVERYTHING ON IT IS FAKE
I MADE IT ALL UP
AND NOW???????
I DID THIS????? THIS VERIFIED FB WOMAN WANTED TO BELIEVE JAMES BUCHANAN THE 15TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES REALLY RAISED PYGMY GOATS IN THE WHITE HOUSE ROSE GARDEN??????
AND NOW??????????
SOMEONE HAS PUBLISHED IT?????????????????????? IT COSTS REAL MONEY???????????? NONE OF THE FACTS ARE REAL SOMEONE HELP ME
someone made a prezi
someone informed a classroom that James Buchanan was first choice over Sacagawea
I know it’s so bad like how did this happen I just cannot believe
All I can say is that I couldn’t ask for a better representation of the American education system tbh
Okay but like…Gail Collins is not just a “verified Facebook woman”. She’s a columnist for the New York Times.
You literally trolled over a million people.
I A M D Y I N G
oh god, this is fantastic.
Literally how people think how the news go
this is, like, case in point why you should always do your own research
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