doubleshot8:

danipup:

wing-ed-creature:

this is annoying

i just read an ask (not mine) that was ‘why do you do xyz to subs?“ and dude answered, “because they hate it.”

i cannot STAND the idea that we (subs) are supposed to hate the things that are done to us. i do this shit because i crave it. i need it. i love it. it connects me to a partner in ways that vanilla relationships don’t. it makes me feel strong and confident and joyful.

i get that not everyone is like me, not everyone does kink in the same way, but this concept that ‘subs should be pathetic and miserable’ is damaging to the kink community in the long run, and damaging to new people exploring this side of themselves. it feeds actual abuse and mistreatment, and makes people reluctant to stand up for themselves.

it also feeds the stereotype that kink is all just pretend roleplay. it can be, roleplay is a thing that some people enjoy, but if you are *actually miserable* then it’s not roleplay. if you are *actually miserable* then it’s not kink.

if you do not derive joy from however you structure your sex life, then please keep exploring, keep moving forward. communicate openly about what you like and want. and do not be afraid to stand up for yourself.

Dude, I read the same ask and totally thought of you, too. 🙂 in terms of our like-mindedness on this.

Reblogging to remind myself: if what you are doing in your sex life isn’t bringing you joy, keep exploring. Don’t settle for what you have just because it is all you see available right now. That also means enjoy what you can. Don’t quit on everything just because it isn’t all you are wanting.