today’s Strange Plant Encounter:
1. was walking to work (i work at a service seed lab). right outside the building i find this Absolute UNIT of a seed, laying alone on the ground, nothing else like it around it. i look around and see no contenders and i am DYING to know so i bring it inside whilst being pricked by the 954352345 spines on this defensive spike ball
2. the seed lab’s function (understandably) comes to a grinding halt at the presentation of a Strange Seed. it’s even more strange because it looks like it wasn’t even ready to drop- like it’s not ripe yet, whatever it is. my boss, a seed technician trained in Many Seed Ways, thinks it might be a sycamore but it doesn’t quite look right. our plant pathologist asks for me to show him the offending tree.
3. i bring him to the tree under which i located the 🅱️ehemoth and we look around a little bit before confirming that, indeed, there are no trees in the immediate surrounding area that could have heaved this ball of hate from the heavens. people look at us strangely because he’s wearing a lab coat and we’re both tugging on low hanging branches looking for more offending artillery
4. we go back inside and my boss has cut it open and determined from her Extensive Seed Knowledge that it’s not only a fucking chestnut, but a ball consisting of one (1) Very Large fucking chestnut accompanied by two (2) smaller neglected chestnuts. chestnuts. i had no idea that that’s what chestnuts looked like right from the tree like that is VERY threatening, like imagine this roasting over an open fire and shit like…….how is this considered festive? why? (note: technically this is a seed from the chinese chestnut tree, Castanea mollissima. apparently not all species look exactly like this)
5. the mystery deepens as our pathologist recalls that due to the chestnut tree’s susceptibility to various fungal diseases, there is only one (1) chestnut tree on campus. it is not near our building. somehow this Very Ominous Seed teleported across campus and materialized in front of the seed science building like a foreboding omen. my best guess is that it fell on top of somebody’s car and got carried here but holy shit its like….sizable, like this seed was meant to Drop And Stay There
6. it is now in my possession. i was poked like 453254 times getting it into this plastic thingy because i am A Dumbass that cannot take evolution’s copious hints to Not Touch The Seed seriously. i have no idea what im going to do with it but i sure do have it now
BettSplendens Tumblr Evac 