i want to believe that the first time minimus reveals his fox alt mode it’s at swerve’s bar, and he’s in his irreducible form cause he got some surface-level injuries and velocity won’t let him have his outer armor back until it’s fixed. he’s felt so embarrassed all day because people have been doing double takes as they pass him in the hall. rodimus squealed when he saw him. he squealed. he feels utterly humiliated, and that’s why he’s decided to get utterly shitfaced.
so he’s just drinking at a booth in the corner and feeling sorry for himself when he realizes that megatron has sat down next to him. megs is looking concerned (and also thinking ‘oh shit did minimus get smaller’). Part of Mins’s processor is panicking because oh god he’s being so unprofessional and Megatron can’t see him like this ohh nooooo
But outwardly he doesn’t react except for a slurred “oh hi mark Megatron”
Megatron is like “Minimus, is something.. wrong?”
Minimus says “what’d you mean???”
“Ah, well, I’ve never seen you drink so… heavily, before.”
For some reason, this seems to set Minimus off. Suddenly he sits up, plating puffed out like he’s trying to make himself seem bigger. He’s like “well maybe you jus’ don’ know me!!! I can drink!!! I can be fuh- I can be f-fun!!! I’ll show you! I’ll show ev’rybody!!” And he gets up on the table (Megatron is like “Minimus what are you doing stop”) and yells “HEY LOOK WHAT I CAN DO”
rodimus: crippling self-esteem issues hidden behind finger guns and some rad shades, financially irresponsible
ultramagnus: fear of the uncertainty of where ur life is going and also Sad bc you tend to think people don’t like u even though they do
drift: u have no idea who u are and that scares you, no one seems to be able to pin down what ur type is but ur definitely Gay
chromedome: ur 24/7 thinking abt Some Shit u did in the past that was either embarrassing or shitty or both, most likely a Sad Gay but a good friend
brainstorm: gay and a disaster – ur most likely touch-starved and excitable
ratchet: are the Parent Friend ™ but probably not by choice – ur very gay but more pragmatic than a chromedome or brainstorm so u don’t mope about ur crushes
swerve: overcompensating for somethin always, constantly gets sorted into hufflepuff, most likely a surprisingly good chef
rung: the Other Parent Friend ™, unlike ratchet doesn’t need coffee every .2 seconds to function, probably really likes plants
rung (version 2): is constantly being kinkshamed
skids: does a lot of things well but can’t figure out what their passion / their calling in life is, feels like they can do a lot of things pretty well but don’t excel anywhere, tends to be impulsive
whirl: never grew out of their punk/scene phase or is reliving it, is doing their best to recover from a lot of bad self-talk, is gay but is ready to fight always
perceptor: was the kind of person who binged the crash course videos in their free time, is gay and pragmatic but unlike ratchet or rung has a hard time identifying/labeling specific emotions
tailgate: a warm Friend, very willing to listen and encourage – another disaster gay, loses track of what they were saying a lot, means well
cyclonus: probably one of the few people not ashamed of their scene phase and feels like they learned a lot abt themselves from it, sword/knife lesbian, incredibly valid, less of a Parent Friend and more of a reliable uncle
firstaid: constantly willing to throw down in the target parking lot over things they like, very loyal friend, parents of friends and s/os like them a lot
rewind: one of those sentimental gays that likes to take pictures of their friends and family, cries about movies, doesn’t look like a top but is probably a top
nautica: enthusiastic science nerd even if they’re bad at math, space gay, probably really likes neon lights, is not involved in the Discourse, ever, a good friend to the Sad Gays
megatron: most likely to be Invalid, poetry gay, unironically likes walt whitman, is probably involved in a lot of the discourse even if they didn’t start it