I’ve been cruising through the #OnlyInGotham tag, so I thought, why not contribute?
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I work at McDonalds and the, what does he call it? The Batplane? Batwing? The plane Batman drives comes by to pick up like, seventeen Happy Meals, and I only see Nightwing and Red Robin inside….. #onlyingotham #Imtellingbatman #theywerepulledoverbythebatmobile
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#onlyingotham does yelling “Nightwings butt is average!” earn you a mob at your door. Robin and Red Hood are leading them, and Red Robin in consoling a crying Nightwing in the corner. #whoops #imsorry #ijustwantedhelpwithmyhomework
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I got tired of vigilantes and rogues breaking my window, so about a month ago I replaced it with two inch thick plexi glass. After Red Hood figured it out, I guess he took it as a challenge to break my window. So now I just spend hours sitting in front of my window and drinking coffee as he throws multiple items at my window. Rogues and other vigilantes are not an uncommon site. Yesterday he threw a cat at my window. I flipped him off and he started banging his head against the wall. #itsquiteamusing #bestentertainment #onlyingotham #hejustthrewJokeratmywindow Update: He threw Red Robin and after faceplanting against my window he sorta just stayed there and stared at my coffee. #getrrhelp
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I just walked past Damian Wayne walking down the street holding catnip with a trail of cats following him. I think he’s going back to the manor…. #onlyingotham #imsorrybruce #savebruce2k18
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Some Metropolis tourist was standing next to me waiting for the bus and bragging all about how amazing Superman is and how their city is soooo much better than ours. Also about how us Gothamites are only cultured if we’re ritch and if we’re ritch we’re snobs. And me, being the small art school student I am who has grown up in Gotham, punched said tourist. Right in the gut. Nightwing high fived me. #onlyingotham
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#onlyingotham do you run into Red Robin at the cafe near your dorm and pass out from shear exhaustion, only to wake up to find his cowl wrapped around your shoulders and enough money to buy another coffee, along with a sticky note that says good luck. #thestrugglesofanartstudent #imkeepingthecowl #itssowarm
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I just watched Dick Grayson fall out of a tree and flip last second onto his feet while yelling “yolo” #onlyingotham #savebruce2k18
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I went to Wayne Manor for a gala only because I was a personally hired photographer, and I didn’t have fancy clothes so I showed up in jeans in a plaid shirt. Tim Drake took one look at me, and dragged me to his room to get me “proper” clothes. As he was doing so he told me that the snobs in that Ballroom would eat me alive if I went in there looking like that. When he was done he patted me on the shoulder and left. #onlyingotham #ithinkiminlove #TimsofficiallymyfavoriteWaynekid
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Tag: Gotham
I’m grading fifth grade history reports, and one of the students chose Gotham crime as her subject. She claims, “It all started when the official founders of Gotham came across a gross and unstable swamp, decided to stay, and murdered all the Native Americans already living here. That pretty much set the tone up to present day.” #SoundsAboutRight #OnlyInGotham #ButActuallyNotOnlyInGotham
#onlyingotham
Okay, okay, okay, I’ve been reading posts with this tag for the last hour. I feel like I need to contribute… so here’s some #onlyingotham tweets:
I think it’s one of the batfam’s birthdays cause there’s loud chanting from atop my building and confetti is falling from the sky. #onlyingotham
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Apparently the fire escapes on the apartments near the police station are a popular place for the bat kids to watch YouTube on their phones. I’ve been hearing sport fail videos and laughing out my window every night for the last two weeks. #onlyingotham
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So today during my self defence class, Robin comes barging into the gym and yells, “try those kind of pathetic manoeuvres here in Gotham and you’ll be found dead in an alleyway.” This child then proceeded to show us how to PROPERLY defend against GOTHAM robbers and how to NOT die.
#onlyingotham————————————–
I was studying late at a cafe for an early morning exam. Red Robin, Spoiler, and Catwoman came in for I guess(??) a coffee brake at two in the morning. Catwoman was lecturing Red Robin and Spoiler about how to properly dry clean blood from clothing…. #onlyingotham
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I was walking home from work and I saw Nightwing swinging on a fire escape and he yelled, “Marco!” Red Hood jumped from another roof and yelled “Polo!” as he swings through the street. God, I love this city 😛 #lmao #onlyingotham
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There’s this dinky little bar I go to after work. Today Oswald Cobblepot came strutting on in, payed for everyone’s drinks, and left with a beer. #onlyingotham ??
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Yesterday I saw this old guy in this huge green vampire cloak arguing with Robin on the street about betraying family duties… #onlyingotham
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So Superman paid a visit to Gotham. I literally just saw him flying through the streets, carrying a flailing Robin and a whining Super Boy. #onlyingotham
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Whenever I have a bad day I go to the roof of my apartment building and watch the sun set. Last night, Nightwing saw me and joined me on the ledge after he thought I was going to jump. I’m totally fine, don’t worry guys :P. Apparently he loves watching cartoons. His favourite character is Zuko from Avatar because he reminds him of his younger brother. #onlyingotham
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I think Red Hood must be grounded or something cause while I was buying a chocolate bar from my local 7/11… Batman is standing outside the foggy glass windows, arms crossed, and tracking every move Red Hood makes in the store. #onlyingotham
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I think I just saw one of the bat kids almost die(can they even die??)… that Robin kid, who fell from above, is laying on the pavement and rubbing his arm as this guy in blue and black tights stands beside him, lecturing some kid with a long stick on the roof who’s yelling, “He spiked my coffee with salt!!” Then the blue and black one is yelling, “he’s trying to prevent you from overdosing on caffeine. You need help!” Then the stick one, “Bullshit! You defend him on anything!” “Red Robin, you had a mini heart attack the other day.” Then the Red Robin kid just flicked them the bird and now he’s stomping down the roof… what did I just witness? I’m just a guy from Metropolis, is this a daily occurrence here? #onlyingotham
@guyfrommetropolis yah, if your give the one with the staff(Red Robin) a coffee he’ll buy you cookies and love you forever 😛
#onlyingotham
Okay, okay, okay, I’ve been reading posts with this tag for the last hour. I feel like I need to contribute… so here’s some #onlyingotham tweets:
I think it’s one of the batfam’s birthdays cause there’s loud chanting from atop my building and confetti is falling from the sky. #onlyingotham
—————————————
Apparently the fire escapes on the apartments near the police station are a popular place for the bat kids to watch YouTube on their phones. I’ve been hearing sport fail videos and laughing out my window every night for the last two weeks. #onlyingotham
—————————————
So today during my self defence class, Robin comes barging into the gym and yells, “try those kind of pathetic manoeuvres here in Gotham and you’ll be found dead in an alleyway.” This child then proceeded to show us how to PROPERLY defend against GOTHAM robbers and how to NOT die.
#onlyingotham————————————–
I was studying late at a cafe for an early morning exam. Red Robin, Spoiler, and Catwoman came in for I guess(??) a coffee brake at two in the morning. Catwoman was lecturing Red Robin and Spoiler about how to properly dry clean blood from clothing…. #onlyingotham
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I was walking home from work and I saw Nightwing swinging on a fire escape and he yelled, “Marco!” Red Hood jumped from another roof and yelled “Polo!” as he swings through the street. God, I love this city 😛 #lmao #onlyingotham
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There’s this dinky little bar I go to after work. Today Oswald Cobblepot came strutting on in, payed for everyone’s drinks, and left with a beer. #onlyingotham ??
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Yesterday I saw this old guy in this huge green vampire cloak arguing with Robin on the street about betraying family duties… #onlyingotham
—————————————
So Superman paid a visit to Gotham. I literally just saw him flying through the streets, carrying a flailing Robin and a whining Super Boy. #onlyingotham
—————————————
Whenever I have a bad day I go to the roof of my apartment building and watch the sun set. Last night, Nightwing saw me and joined me on the ledge after he thought I was going to jump. I’m totally fine, don’t worry guys :P. Apparently he loves watching cartoons. His favourite character is Zuko from Avatar because he reminds him of his younger brother. #onlyingotham
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I think Red Hood must be grounded or something cause while I was buying a chocolate bar from my local 7/11… Batman is standing outside the foggy glass windows, arms crossed, and tracking every move Red Hood makes in the store. #onlyingotham
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I think I just saw one of the bat kids almost die(can they even die??)… that Robin kid, who fell from above, is laying on the pavement and rubbing his arm as this guy in blue and black tights stands beside him, lecturing some kid with a long stick on the roof who’s yelling, “He spiked my coffee with salt!!” Then the blue and black one is yelling, “he’s trying to prevent you from overdosing on caffeine. You need help!” Then the stick one, “Bullshit! You defend him on anything!” “Red Robin, you had a mini heart attack the other day.” Then the Red Robin kid just flicked them the bird and now he’s stomping down the roof… what did I just witness? I’m just a guy from Metropolis, is this a daily occurrence here? #onlyingotham
@guyfrommetropolis yah, if your give the one with the staff(Red Robin) a coffee he’ll buy you cookies and love you forever 😛
I feel like one of theses days the joker is gonna spray Gotham with laugh gas and NOTHING will happen. The citizen of Gotham will have built an immunity from all the chemical shit that gets thrown at them.
I don’t think that’ll happen. Immunity to chemicals/poisons tends to be built up in matters of small exposures (I think, not my field) and the villains would have to be using the same basic chemicals every time, not likely. You’d also have to survive the prior exposures which seems not very Gotham~y. — Besides, it’s a fictional city and that wouldn’t make for a good story precedent to set, the citizens as immune to such a common plot point.
Now what I’d like to see is the people of Gotham building an immunity to widespread media panic about said Joker Gas.
It becomes like a pollen count on the weather. “And today’s expected Joker Toxin index is listed at 15.4, so make sure to put those breakable objects away on high shelves and put the kids to bed early, because this is going to be a bad one.”
And then the next panel shows an average family just matter-of-fact, getting the seatbelts (that they’ve installed by now) and strapping themselves in while green and/or purple clouds start filtering in through the window, so they’re safely secured when they start to have painful hysterical fits.
Every time the Joker breaks out, sporting goods stores have a BOGO sale on mouthguards.
Yes.
And like certain cities I know of down South where there’s a chemical depot, many citizens actually own gas masks and there’s sirens for leaks.
You wanna help out Bruce? Those gas masks that you and the Robins don to such good effect (until a villain knocks it off mid-fight), have Wayne Enterprises “develop” a cost-effective public version to sell since it’s such a regular issue. How to keep your giant ass company in business and make your night job easier. Hell, given how regularly it comes up, the government would pay for it. They do in real life.
I’d love to see little things about how there’s water filters commonly purchased advertised by being “Gotham-Grade” or how it was tested and proven to filter out chemicals just like was used in the Scarecrow’s last attack. Stuff like that.
Immunity isn’t likely, but companies capitalizing on the commonality of the threat, locals being desensitized to the repeated same threat situations — that’s stuff I’d buy.
I grew up in North Alabama. — We are not going in the safe room yet, that tornado cell isn’t close and it’s gonna be really boring sitting in a closet with the battery operated radio. Just leave the weather coverage running on the TV and come help fix dinner. — You learn to read how much of an immediate issue commonly occurring dangers are and you take reasonable action without flipping out. It’s part of the routine.
“Honey, get back here and finish your dinner. You heard the radio; Killer Croc is two blocks south of here and going the wrong direction. Your food’s getting cold.”
This is exactly the kind of Gothamite I would expect.
“Channel 8 says the fight with Freeze is going on in Tribeca and headed towards the West Village, your school is not going to be closed tomorrow. Now go write your report. You’ll wish you had to deal with Batman if you bring home one more D in Mr. Jones class.”
People choose entertainment based on how nondescript the name and theme are, and places with giant smiling faces/puns of ANY kind quickly go bankrupt. Street and buildings have been quietly renumbered so there are less 2s. Restaurants close on holidays and everyone has quiet meals indoors – Takeout places triple their business. Restaurants adapt by offering unnamed parallel days of celebration –
‘Come in February 17th with your significant other. Enjoy a quiet, safe meal – our dining room features no unnecessary decorations, and our name has no unfortunate associations in the world’s 32 most common languages!’
yes i want a gotham not crushed by murder and fear where people have adapted and are rarely in too much danger where businesses no longer have themes because theme criminals are so bad for business
Elf, it got better.
Yeah, this sounds like humans.
Smartest criminal Gotham ever had.
This henchman it’s gonna go far in the criminal underworld
I hope this becomes a meme
I love and will always reblog Nope!Henchman.
Reality in Gotham
Hello to all watching!
I have a very important announcement, but first, I’m going to have to explain a
few things.
First, you must
understand that reality is fluid, and it is greatly influenced by how it is perceived.
Portions of reality only inhabited by nonsapient creatures rarely undergo
considerable change, for example, and-
Oh, I should define “change”,
shouldn’t I?
Well- I don’t mean that everything in them stays the same when
they don’t change. Things change. I mean that what is possible changes. Not what could eventually be possible, through
improved technology- what will ever be possible, according to the laws of that
reality. In addition, the laws of probability are an important part of that-
and they are the first to shift.
Anyway- portions of
reality only inhabited by nonsapient creatures rarely shift because nonsapient
creatures have no imagination. With very few exceptions, they perceive reality
as it is, and only as it is.
Nonsapient creatures,
well- they get interesting. They have imaginations! They come up with things
that don’t exist. Now, usually, those don’t turn into anything. Either they’re
too much like reality, or they’re too far away for what human minds can
accidentally accomplish. But, sometimes, they hint.
Like those, oh, what
do you call them- cryptids. By and large, those don’t exist. The collective
belief isn’t enough to bring them into reality, but it is enough to continue producing what seems like proof. Because it
almost is proof- stories, tiny scraps of hints, strange things that don’t quite
fit. That’s what belief produces- those little hints.
And there are outside
factors that can influence probability, and therefore reality. Anything
improbable enough has some influence. My being here, for example, or the
continued existence of people who’ve survived things that should really be
impossible- people with things through their brains are a good example.
Normally that’s not a concern, though, please don’t go and kill improbable
folks. It takes a great deal of extremely improbable things in one place to
alter reality, and, usually, you can’t get that many improbable things without
there already being altered reality involved.
But, hm, I should get
back to my point.
I’m sure you know of
the gap in time, between 2 and 4 am, where nothing seems quite right. Now- this
is mostly due to the effects of a lack of sleep on humans, plus all the various
little things that are different when almost no one is awake. Reality seems
just a bit off. And that’s because it is! In that space in time, but only in
the parts of the world currently experiencing that space in time, reality is
askew. And it is that way entirely because of how sleep-deprived human brains perceive
the world, and because of how strange it seems to your brain to see normally
public areas empty of people. Because reality feels askew, it is askew.
Now, as I’m sure you
can imagine, this is where things can be dangerous.
Take this city, for
example. It’s absurd! Look at these buildings. It’s as if no one has updated
most of the city in a few hundred years. Everything is falling apart, it’s
crumbling and dark, and, oh, I can smell
the lead, that can’t be helping. And it’s full of crime. More than that, it’s
full of people who are extraordinarily improbable. Your hero is a man dressed
as a large version of a small flying mammal, accompanied by an entourage of
children in brightly colored outfits! This city has been held hostage by birds!
Actual birds! There is a man dressed as a clown riding a large robotic teddy
bear outside of- oh, my friend, your nemesis is here, you should deal with
that.
Nothing in this city
makes any sense, by the laws of reality that govern everything around it. And
that is because this city operates on a slightly askew version of reality. I have
checked the city myself- there are at least two creatures hiding here who take
advantage of that, but they did not cause this.
So do you know what
did?
Ask your neighbor why
all these things happen. They will probably tell you “because this is Gotham”
and then look at you like you are a simpleton for not understanding how reality
works.
And that is because something
happened. Something that can be termed a “mass belief event”. Now, it may have
been an intentional attack, or it may have been accidental- probably a poison,
a hallucinogen. The lead levels around us are not helping that. Or, maybe even
a serial killer- one with seemingly mystical powers who frightened everyone
living here. It’s difficult to tell, and probably irrelevant.
But, whatever
happened, everyone’s perception of the city changed. Gotham City became a dark
and frightening place, full of crumbling ruins, creeping scavengers, and
threatening figures with strange abilities.
Now, whatever did that
to everyone would have worn off eventually. But the city, well-
Look around you.
The city remembered.
Yes, places remember!
Patches of reality remember! They aren’t usually conscious, but things,
especially things made by other creatures, know how they ought to be. And how
they ought to be is heavily defined by how it is thought that they ought to be.
It’s why children can build things startlingly well from cardboard before they
realize they shouldn’t be able to- because children, and any other beings who
can imagine but don’t yet know what they shouldn’t be able to do, have the
power to alter reality. Just a fraction. Please, please do not try to weaponized
that, it has been attempted, it fails every time and it goes terribly wrong,
but that is a fact.
Places remember what
they ought to be. And reality shifts around them to help that. Cities left to
fall into ruins regrow nature more easily because they remember that they ought
to be full of plants. And Gotham, well- Gotham remained the frightening place
that its inhabitants perceived it as.
Gotham remembered what
its inhabitants thought it ought to be, and it shifted to accommodate. People didn’t
repair things as often as they ought to, scavengers moved in, and… the loosened
reality allowed for certain defiances in places. Such as your “supervillains”.
Now- if I lived here, I
would want to change that.
Do you?
Well, good news! You can!
And it’s really very
simple.
Stop believing. Start
questioning. Start asking “why has no one repaired this building yet? Why is
this man in a suit covered with punctuation marks still around? Why are these
people who are clearly mentally ill being allowed to escape time and again from
the same place?”
Start refusing to
believe!
If you are new to the
city- stop accepting it! Yes, the city is strange to you, and your perception
of it as strange can help to bolster the altered reality, but you have insights
into what other cities are like! Start questioning all the differences this one
has.
If it works, you will
start to see change, but it will not be as if by magic. People will start
refusing to accept situations, start trying to rebuild. Maybe… stop putting the
“villains” back into the place they keep escaping from. You cannot change the
past, but you can change the future, can push this city’s reality into
something a bit less Gothic.
Your perception of
reality is more powerful than you understand.
Use it.
Refuse to believe that
which should be unbelievable.
Refuse to accept this.