Tag: food

this guy on the Great British Baking Show tried to make bagels and they went really flat, so he’s being gently kidded at about having invented bagel/flatbread hybrids, “flagels”, and I’m just over here genuinely wanting to try that. I like the outer part of the bagel the most, a flat bagel would be ALL outer part.

Somebody make me the flagels!

Also, I learned that bagels are made by poaching the dough shapes before baking, which is why they have that skin and the texture. I’m a fan. Bagels are the best possible bread component of a peanut butter sandwich, IMO.

correspondingnerd:

brunhiddensmusings:

cameoamalthea:

brunhiddensmusings:

threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat:

badgerofshambles:

a singular scuit. just one. 

an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it.

‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years

‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ – they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones

‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice baked

thus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice

behold the monoscuit/scuit

Why is this called a biscuit:

when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they cared

thus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UK

the evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree

I love it when a shitpost turns into an actually interesting post.

official-lithuania:

official-estonia:

socially-awkward-nikki:

hardcore-tea-drinker:

regulusblxcks:

philiasperanza:

flyingmintteabag:

athenastudying:

loonydoc13:

saxifraga-x-urbium:

stammsternenstaub:

silver-millennial:

demonessryu:

oddybutgoodie:

zora-zen:

megatrcn:

pajarosdelamancha:

jamesandlilys:

digitalfare:

orriculum:

svynakee:

thirdtimecharmed:

altonzm:

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked

chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. 

English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy

Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.

Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts

Filipino recipes: add rice and soy sauce and some more rice MORE RICE MORE RICE MORE

Serbian Recipes: everything is salad. Ajvar? Salad. A single whole hot pepper covered in oil? Salad. Cabbage? Salad. Kajmak? Salad.

Lebanese recipes: If you don’t have at least 3 family members cooking this dinner with you than you aren’t doing it right.

Indonesian recipes: have you added spices? Add some just in case. Eat with rice. It’s not a proper meal until there’s rice in it. You just had bread/burger/cake/pizza? Eat rice anyway or you’ll die of starvation

Bonus Javanese recipes: Have you added sugar? What do you mean it’s meant to be salty/sour/spicy/something else? ADD SUGAR.TO IT

Canadian recipes: Well part of the directions are in metric but you have imperial measuring cups. I hope you like math because we’re going to find out how many gallons in a litre and how many millimetres are in a cup.

Swedish recipes: Assemble all the beige items you have in your kitchen. Great. now add raw red onions, dill and salt and white pepper. if u prefer it blander, don’t do the last things. consider serving it with jam

Norwegian recipes: listen after three days skiing uphill you will eat anything so stop complaining.

Indian recipes: spend two weeks digging the required spices out of your cupboards. Chop onions until you cry. Fry onions with spices until evey pore in your body is open, let the fragrance seep into your skin, become one with the curry.

german recipes: this meal isn’t what you think it is. it has 164 different names in different regions. it’s either made of potatoes, served with potatoes, or it’s cake. there’s a 50% chance it’s actually austrian, but don’t tell anyone.

belarusian recipes: “cook over a slow fire until done”. how many degrees is a slow fire? when is “done”? what am i even cooking there’s no picture and the only ingredients are honey and cornflower

turkish recipes: “if you do this, there’s really -REALLY- good change that you’ll die because everything is too spicy or too sweet but here we go”

romanian recipes: if you don’t already know the ingredients and directions by heart then what are we doing here

Malay recipes: If it’s not spicy enough, it’s not worth it. You don’t have coconut milk? It’s doomed

Irish recipes: Potatoes. All potatoes. If it’s not potatoes it’s not food.

Estonian recipes: if it’s not brown, doesn’t look like turd and has no blood in it, you’ve failed

Lithuanian recipes: the main ingredient is potatoes. well, only potatoes. and eat it with half a loaf of rye bread

stimman3000:

.

I’ve had a version of these where they’re cut super, super thin, nearly as thin as chips, and then put in a heap on a plate. Tornado fries. Tasty as heck. Ultra-salty. The rig the guy had was made mostly with a power drill, he’d put it together himself. 

aerefyr:

thebisexualmandalorian:

the-last-hair-bender:

thebisexualmandalorian:

the-last-hair-bender:

Time to start new food discourse!

Reblog if you put mayo on hotdogs.

God no. I put a lot of weird condiments on, but I draw the line at mayo. Unless it’s in fry sauce.

I’m gonna need you to define “weird condiments” for me Jesse.

Nacho cheese sauce, sriracha, apparently ketchup is weird and Not Allowed, blackberry jam is good, remoulade, tartar sauce, shrimp cocktail sauce, guacamole… 

Not all of this together, mind you, but it’s all good.

mayo on hot dogs is chill, but I also put nacho cheese on it, and ketchup

I don’t like mayo on anything, but I put cheddar-flavored chips on hot dogs. Yum.

Ketchup is definitely not a weird thing to put on hot dogs. Most cartoon hot dogs I’ve seen have ketchup drawn on them.

Sorry, Taco Bell, but I’m gonna have to maintain that your fried-chicken-wrapped-around-food is not a taco. 

A taco is kind of like a sandwich. You wrap a bendable, carb-y food around relatively messy food, or small bits of food, to make the food easier to eat. To that end, your outer shell has to be something easy to touch, i.e. not horribly hot and not greasy. A chicken strip is not an easy surface to touch. I mean, I’m sure your thing tastes good, but it’s not a taco any more than two chicken patties with lettuce between is a sandwich. 

A sandwich, for this purpose, is two pieces of carb-y food with largely non-carb food between them, intended to make the non-carb food easy to eat tidily. 

A hamburger is a sandwich. A sloppy joe is a bad sandwich due to its messiness.

If it’s one piece of carb folded around the other food, or a stiff carb baked into a folded shape, it’s a taco. 

Hot dogs are not tacos because the hinge of the bread is very thin and not required. 

If the carb is folded around enough to cross over itself, that’s a wrap. 

If it’s a wrap full of things like meat and beans, with Mexican or Mexican-inspired flavors, it’s a burrito.