So, as it’s roughly explained, the state alchemist program is a kind of “recruit potential human sacrifices” mechanism, with a side-order of “brute strength for the army”. But basically, the state alchemist title is mostly about being a researcher–given people like Shou Tucker exist, and given that the only requirement to stay a state alchemist is to submit a yearly report of your research that says “look I’m still being a useful scientist”.
So far, so far this is sensible, yeah? Father and the delightful children from down the lane are running a recruitment program for potential human sacrifices. So sure–butter them up! Give them lots of money, get them buddy-buddy with the government, and give them endless resources for research. It’s be pretty easy to trick a state alchemist in that position to open the portal if Sugar DaddyBradley is nudging them to do it.
And I’m still willing to go with this logic for the whole “draft the state alchemists into war” move. They make it pretty clear that was something of a last-ditch effort. And the blood transmutation circle around Amestris was an absolute necessity for Father’s plan. So the risk of a few state alchemists dying or resigning from your Potential Sacrifice Pool is worth it for the completion of the circle.
Now. To get to my fucking thought.
Edward fucking Elric. This fucking fight-me 12 year old troglodyte shows up to the exam and performs circle-less transmutation in front of mother fucking Bradley, demonstrating to one of the seven Actual Fucking Homunculi that he’d already opened the portal. Ed was literally prepped as a human sacrifice before he showed up to Central. A fully set human sacrifice showed up at the homunculi’s door, said “hey look what I can do!”, proved he’d opened the mother fucking portal already, and said “hey yeah hire me”. Human sacrifice, free shipping, no assembly required, handcuffs not included!
They could have just tossed Ed into a shoebox and kept him there until the Promised Day. They wouldn’t even need to make up an excuse he attacked the f u c k i n g president. That’s fucking treason babey. He’s 12, he’s an orphan, he’s from a rural town in buttfuck nowhere, he’s literally the easiest person alive to disappear.They could have arrested him for assassination crimes, kept him in gay baby jail, and just popped him out for the Promised Day
What do they do instead?! “Oh lmao this kid’s great. Let’s give him infinite money, no supervision, no governmental responsibilities, access to all our secret resources, and toss him on a train to who-the-fuck-knows-where-land”
They fucking did that
And like? They then had the audacity to be concerned when Edward “Fight Me” Elric almost got himself killed about 293 times. Just an endless game of “I thought u were watching him” from one homunculus to another when Ed fucking absconds half-way across the globe to go entice some other hostile entity into murdering him to death. That’s the whole series. Every arc is Ed baiting death while the homunculi are in the background like “:/ wish he wouldn’t do that”
This only gets worse when you consider they later learned Al opened the portal too because really?? These two stab-happy globe-trotting public menaces are 40% of your final evil plan for godhood. 40%. Almost half. You couldn’t fucking set aside a cardboard box to keep these idiots in?
We all knew Father was terrible at planning when we learned his thousands-of-years-in-the-making-plan involved him procrastinating until the last five minutes to get his last sacrifice, while he was?? playing chess in his fucking basement, I guess. But it’s like every time I think about it like really think about it I find 7 more reasons Father was a fucking shit idiot moron, king of the stupid fucking idiot club, flesh and blood founder of seven other established dumbasses, all living in their idiot hovel under central, just giving random dumbass 12 year olds infinite money, j u s t b e c a u s e.
People in the replies trying to explain Father’s actions fall into one of three categories
Father didn’t baby-gate Ed because humans are like ants to him and he had no concept of how thoroughly Ed and co. could fuck his shit up
Father and the Hot Topic Brigade didn’t lock Ed up because they recognized the unbridled chaotic 12-year-old energy compressed into such a small vessel and they understood no jail cell on earth would reliably hold this thing
Father and his sin-sonas didn’t put Ed in a box because locking Ed away in their lair would mean dealing with Edward Elric day-in and day-out in their own home for the next four years and frankly even godhood isn’t worth certain flavors of hell.
I like to think that at some point Ed got bored and decides to become a professor at some big name Amestrian college.
His specialty is a military funded class called Battle Alchemy, which he starts off by inviting any of his students to beat him in hand to hand for a conditionless passing grade (by the end of the first class, most students walk away sore and horrified).
It takes half the semester before they realize that Ed continues to beat them even when they use alchemy and he does not. They ask to see him use alchemy in battle. The next day, a man who looks almost the same as their professor shows up to class- he’s softspoken and polite, and the students expect a substitute lecture. Ed sits in the stands and laughs as Al proceeds to fight the entire class at once, and beat all of them. The students never ask again.
(And sometimes, in the middle of practicals, students swear they can see the Fuhrer watching from the edge of the field.)
I can also see him causing a hell of a problem when it comes to conventional textbooks-
“This is definitely wrong.”
“Sir, this is the most recently updated textbook for theoretical alchemy-”
“Yea fuck that, I can prove that soul alchemy isn’t unviable- someone hand me some chalk, I’m about to commit a mathematical felony.”
“I’m about to commit a mathematical felony” is probably the most in character Ed line ever, of all time
Their boobs move. Like…realistically move. As in, the way actual breasts would motion if a woman made that movement without an over the top exaggeration and the camera is framed in a way so that it’s clearly not supposed to be sexual the way most anime would stage it. The scenes in question are meant to be taken seriously so the animators and direction is take things seriously. Either it’s just a character walking down a hall or clapping her hands.
If this were any other action/adventure anime, the camera angle would’ve been something like this for Winry’s introduction:
This is weird, but what I find so sexy about Riza is, well… How she isn’t sexualized. Like, she isn’t a pure sex object in nonstop sexy outfits. She’s a beautiful military woman, and she dresses appropriately for the role. Along with that she’s NEVER used as the ‘sexy distraction’ trope that women often are used for. She has a good role, she’s a fighter, but also has a kind heart for her friends.
That and more are reasons Riza is my favorite female anime character, and FMAB is my favorite anime.
Well said my friend.
I think there was only one instance of jiggle physics and that was with lust but that was when they were trying to make a joke about havoc having a thing for boobs and the joke was more about havoc than lust having big breasts.
“You fell into my booby trap” (proceeds to paralyze Havoc afterwards)
What I also love is that their boobs are in equal proportion to every other body part. Like, yeah, a character might have bigger boobs, but she also had a big waist/hips/legs/etc to go with it, so the largeness doesn’t feel fake. Plus, they never draw attention to the sexual stuff, and the only exception was the joke with Havoc. And it was posed in a way that made it feel like less of a raunchy boob joke and more of a joke on Havoc and how his attraction to boobs is what led him to be deceived, which doesn’t leave female viewers uncomfortable, or feeling like their body is constantly the butt of a joke, like some other animes do
That’s a good point that I didn’t realize. All of characters in the show have equally proportioned bodies.
Ed’s muscles get larger as he gets older but never reaches John Cena level of jacked since he’s still under 6 feet tall. He’s always presented as ripped and not ‘bulky’ like Sig or Alex.
Riza is about the same height as adult Ed, but they have different body styles thus the word for her would be toned. She’s still lean but her muscles and body shape are the same aren’t ‘compact’.
Fmab follows the basic body designs for males and female characters and doesn’t exaggerate a specific feature to the point where it’s comedic. It makes it’s bed, and lies in it.
Every time I see a girl in just about any other action/adventure (shonen) anime I just think:
“is your back okay? You need a doctor? Hey Thomas! Call Lucy a chiropractor!”
or better yet:
“Good Lord! Get this man a sandwich!”
The only real exception to the whole body proportion thing is ALEX LOUIS ARMSTRONG
But his ridiculously bulky muscles are used largely as a comedic element, in which the overly toned nature of his body is commented on as the “freak of nature” kind of idea and definitely not presented as if that’s some kind of expectation for anyone else in the show.
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