Tag: excellent idea

glumshoe:

waxbug:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

relentless android is sent back in time to stop a man’s conception by offering his mom contraception at a crucial moment

“Upon review, it became apparent that a violent approach was ineffective. The T-101 Terminator model was conspicuous, expensive, and easy to hate. It just wasn’t getting the job done. That’s why we are pleased to announce the release of our newest model – officially known as the C0K-1000 Discourager, he is affectionately called Cock Block. He is programmed with a database of millions of gross facts about sex, pregnancy, and child-rearing. A compartment in his chest is capable of storing a 365 day supply of condoms and contraceptive pills as well as an exhaustive list of sexual positions and practices that cannot result in pregnancy. He is adept at cooking spicy, garlic-heavy meals and has thousands of unpleasant smalltalk subroutines that will surely kill the mood and ruin any date. As an emergency resort, he also comes with a built-in speaker in his chest from which he can play voicemails from your parents or blast loud music from a playlist that includes obnoxious cartoon theme songs, Weird Al, DEVO, and the Shrek soundtrack. He can also synthesize foul-smelling compounds to discourage human arousal. He’s unstoppable.”

“Um. Sarah… do you know this guy?”
“Ignore it and don’t acknowledge him. So… tell me about yourself, handsome.”
“He’s peeking over the back of your booth bench mouthing ‘dump her’ at me. It’s kind of hard to ignore. Is he your ex or something?”
“Oh, god, no. He’s a robot sent from the future to keep me from getting laid. And he’s doing a damn fine job of it, too, the bastard. Last week he scaled the building and kept tapping on my 14th storey hotel room window pointing at a sign that said ‘postpartum bleeding’. God, I fucking hate technology.”
“Yeah…. sorry, I’m not sure I can do this. Good luck with your robot problem.”

Ok this is excellent but now I also want the opposite. A robot made to be as sexy as possible so as to divert any shenanigans from baby making humans to his infertile form. But, like, he is just uncanny valley terrible at it. Robot made by other robots and all that, he is a hot mess of pickup lines and social ineptitude wrapped up in a sleek looking body

Yes, very good. But then introduce a third android – a reprogrammed version of the original model, created to thwart the efforts of the other two. He is designated The Wingman. 

#SARAH. THAT MAN OVER THERE LOOKS FERTILE. YOU SHOULD GO TALK TO HIM. I WILL NOW BEGIN PLAYING ATMOSPHERIC SMOOTH JAZZ.#they’re all incredibly buff too but have zero combat ability

sindri42:

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

Concept: a D&D campaign where every party member has been co-opted or replaced by some sort of hostile intelligence; e.g., the fighter has been possessed by a ghost, the wizard is being mind-controlled by her sapient magic ring, the rogue is actually a shapeshifting blob-monster who devoured the original and stole her form and memories, and so forth. Each of them is totally unaware of the others, and believes itself to be the only monster in a group of unwitting human adventurers.

  • The warlock has been infested by a demonic fungus; her ridiculous hat conceals the giant mushroom growing from the top of her head.
  • The barbarian is a lizardman who fell victim to a botched reincarnation spell and regenerated as a human.
  • The druid was actually killed weeks before the party met, and is being expertly impersonated by three dire raccoons in a trenchcoat.
  • No one knows that the bard’s deal is; she seems perfectly normal to every physical and supernatural test, but pings to detect aberration.

rosemary-the-skunk:

clientsfromhell:

This isn’t a story about a client from hell, but I know for a fact that it is advice that comes from dealing with them.

When
I was studying 3D animation and visualization, we did customer projects as a
part of our education. For each project we had a tutor, someone who worked in
the industry and knew the ropes. This is legitimately one of the lessons one of
our tutors gave us:

Tutor:
In our company, we have what we call an “Ugly
Red Blob” method. When a design has been finalized, and it’s time to send it to
the client for final review, the last thing we do is we add a big, red blob
somewhere in the design. The client will look at the mock-up and say: “Okay,
that’s good, but take out that red blob, it doesn’t work with the rest.” The
client gets a feeling that they’ve contributed to the design in a significant
way, and we can get on with our work, without the client trying to micro-manage
every font and color.

chaotic good