there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator
see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this
Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance.
Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside.
What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING!
She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom.
He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!”
omfg the amount of fucks college kids don’t give astounds me
IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREENSHOTS
I LOVE THE IMPLICATION THAT THIS STUDENT HAS A REPUTATION FOR SCALING THE BUILDINGS
Okay. So. I teach Constitutional Law at a relatively well-regarded university. This is a 500 level course and you need my permission to enroll.
My students are, by and large, good students who are used to being good students.
I present to you a list of shit my students have pulled:
- Climbed up to the fifth floor to slip through a window as in the aforementioned example. Only: I do not take attendance. I give not a fuck if you are late as long as you are not disruptive. She did it anyway.
- while playing Humans vs Zombies: One of my students spotted an opposing team member through the window. Looked me dead in the eye and said: “I have to do this. Don’t hate me.” Pulled their headband on, popped open the window, scaled down the side of the building and pelted pel-mel after said opposing team member.
- Later collected their things from my office shame-faced, but only because they had not actually captured the opposing member.
- Sang the entirety of Cabinet Battle #1 from Hamilton to me.
- the entire class.
- Emailed me at 1am to settle an argument regarding the implications of the Murr v Wisconsin case on urban development projects in California
- A trio of them–also all on the moot court team that I coach–spotted me outside the local cigar bar, pointed to me, and, while visibly inebriated, recited the entirety of Preamble of the Declaration of Independence to me.
- When queried as to why they did this they said “It looked like a thing you needed to hear right now.”
- Spent two months responding to any question I asked them during lecture with: “If it pleases the Court ….”
- All showed up with barrister’s wigs and spent the entire class acting like they were not, in fact, wearing ridiculous white wigs on their heads
- Emailed me at 3am to ask which case was controlling regarding search and seizure cases: US v. Padilla or Warden v. Hayden
- answer: both are still technically good law, please provide context?
- context never given.
- flooded my mail box with little origami cranes made from different pages of the US Constitution
- I keep all of them in a little glass jar
- Sang the entirety of “I’m Just A Bill On Capitol Hill”
- changed all of their ring tones to “Lawyers, Guns and Money,” sent off a mass text triggering everyone’s phones so it was just 146 phones all playing that song for 30 seconds.
College is a weird time for everyone involved.
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