To Be Clear: Tiggy is my former biology teacher’s cat, not mine.
Tiggy was found on the street by her six-year-old son and they thought he was a teenager, except his teeth weren’t in great shape, and he never got any bigger. He’s lived with them for 15 years, and Mrs. A thinks he’s probably 17 now.
Tiggy is SUPPOSED to be an indoor cat, but he is Cunning and Apparently Feels No Pain, so he’s managed to get out may, many times by jimmying window locks open, working doorknobs knocking a hole in the roof from the attic, and straight-up running through single-pane glass once. So Mrs. A, attempting to mitigate his environmental impact, has him permanently wearing a neon yellow, reflective strip vest/harness, with bells, a flashing light and a beeper that goes off every 12 minutes, in case he gnaws the bells off. It also has a GPS tracker made from a modified Ankle bracelet, that tells her when he gets out.
IN SPITE OF THIS, he’s still murdery little shit.
The Loud Harness seems to have slowed down his genocide of the local small vertebrates, but had a curious backwards effect: The large carnivores come over and try to throw down with him.
If you’re wondering how 6lb kittykat takes down a 45 lb coyote: Stone-cold bastard kills them the same way a lion takes down a fucking zebra-He latches onto their windpipes and either asphyxiates them by clamping down or actually rips their throats out. The ruff does nothing.
We know this, and his estimated body count, because he likes to bring back particularly difficult kills to the porch to show off.
In 2012, Mrs. A’s son brought home a malamute/GSD puppy and Mrs. A was terrified that Tiggy was going to kill him too. Instead, Tiggy took Tobasco under his proverbial wing and went from “Mighty Hunter” to “Overprotective Parent”, staying in the yard and guarding Tobasco from any potential harm with the same murderous zeal as he’s always had.
…He also taught Tobasco how to stalk, chase, and corner the local wildlife and last year Mrs. A came home to find a six-point mule deer buck in her kitchen, attempting to hide on top of the stove.
like they got dogs in all sorts of cool sizes but we cant make cats bigger than cats because “ooh they’ll kill us” or whatever
bullhockey, i say. if human beings can make the species Canis lupis familiaris in to different shit like the Mastiff and the Pomeranian and have it still be the same animal, we can make cats that are dog sized and have them not be dangerous
The issue is less with how prospectively murderous cats might be and more that cats don’t have the genetic layout that lets us breed for things like size and colors quite as easily. I am very tired and only have a passing knowledge of the subject, so someone who is a cat scientist should take this post., but have a summary, based on my understanding:
We’ve been breeding Maine coons and Norwegian forest cats and others for AGES trying to make them big, but unlike dogs, who had bigass ancestors recently, cats only had smol ancestors recently and even pushing into the 30lb range has taken a long time and can present serious health issues.
Hilariously, in my experience, the bigger the cat, the LESS murderous it’s been. Sir Fluffington is a Maine Coon weighing in at 23lbs, is the heaviest cat I personally know and is a total potato that can’t be arsed to chase a string. Tiggy, a 6-lb domestic shorthair, is a fucking menace will a kill count of 4 foxes, 8 coyotes, innumerable small animals, and an attempt on a mountain lion. (Tiggy is an indoor cat but also Cunning and gets out)
Why aren’t these kitties getting all scratched up? They look like they have their claws out, and it seems like they should be bleeding, hitting each other with claws without any fur in the way. I know I’d be if our cat did that. Is cat skin just tougher than human skin?
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