Tag: birds

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

requiemart:

pepperandpals:

brillbell:

elidyce:

seananmcguire:

priscellie:

ecnamor-lacimehc-ym:

gallifrey-feels:

sociopathic-italian-grandmas:

millshouse:

meganiun:

happyvegetable:

kennilworthy-thisp:

derinthemadscientist:

lumoslouis:

soloontherocks:

amour-vengeance:

later-homenuggets:

my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this

look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit

motherfucking australia

if there was a post to describe australia, this is it

wait. 

you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?

that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?

fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?

wake up australia 

That’s what birds do

They fly around and fuck shit up

Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country

Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit

It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.

Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do

yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes

why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.

My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.

no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange

what the actual fuck australia 

I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke.

Nope.

Went there.

Parrots tried to take our car.

Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY.

Interesting thing about magpies – they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard – as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile.

There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies – carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc – and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started. 

I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool. 

Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots. 

What the fuck

@commanderholly holy shit has Ross ever told you this stuff?

This post gets more hilarious every time it comes up on my radar.  There’s a whole paragraph on the Australian Magpie wiki page about swooping, and what does (and does not) work, along with a picture of a person wearing an anti-magpie modified bike helmet.  And of course, Youtube Videos

WHY DOES EVERYTHING IN AUSTRALIA WANT TO KILL YOU

wodneswynn:

wodneswynn:

I think we should stop using “chicken” as a word for “coward” because have you ever met a chicken?  Chickens ain’t scared of shit.  Chicken is ready to throw down at all times. 

Things a chicken will fight:

  • Other chickens
  • Farmer
  • Coyote
  • Fox
  • Dog
  • Cat
  • Cow
  • Snake
  • Tree
  • Brick wall
  • Itself

Seabird Chicks Sail 1300 Miles to Find a New Home

usfwspacific:

image

Researcher holds a petrel chick on Tern Island. Photo by A. Boyd / USFWS

 Fifty-three Bonin petrel and twenty-five Tristam’s storm-petrel chicks arrived at their new home at the James Campbell National Wildlife Refuge near Kahuku,  O’ahu, after a six day boat ride from Tern Island and Midway Atoll, part of the Papahānaumokuākea Marine National Monument. These chicks will join a cohort of twenty-two Black-footed albatross chicks inside a predator-proof fence, in hopes of founding a new seabird colony.

image

Animal care team placing the chicks in their new burrows. / Photo by L. Young / Pacific Rim Conservation

“These species have never before been translocated to a new home by boat,” said Matt Brown, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Superintendent for Papahānaumokuākea. “Knowing we can move these rare seabirds long distances by sea will enable us to adapt to an ever-changing environment and help prevent the potential loss of a species.”

Keep reading

bunjywunjy:

wigmund:

kedreeva:

end0skeletal:

by

Georg Scharf

birds were invented by sticking a bunch of weapons and feathers on a ball of pure hubris and bringing it to life by the power of spite and fight alone, they are completely lacking in the ability to regret bad decisions like the ones about to be made above

I like how the second heron is just hovering in the back like GREG. GREG, NO. LETS JUST GO HOME, COME ON

gallusrostromegalus:

zsl-edge-of-existence:

Aside from being accomplished architects and artists, many bowerbirds are also skilled mimics.  Male satin bowerbirds will imitate the calls of other local birds during their courtship displays.  Even more startling, MacGregror’s bowerbirds have been heard imitating human speech, pigs grunting, and even the sound of nearby waterfalls.

There was a Fawn-Breasted Bowerbird at the Honolulu Zoo that was very good at mimicking human conversations, to the point where you could talk to him about like, Modern Art Theory or Gothic Symbolism and he’d nod along and go “ooh” and “Mm-hm” at the appropriate parts and was actually more helpful for fleshing out ideas than some of my professors at the time.

He also clipped every single eyefeather off the Green Peacock he was sharing a cage with to make the MOST MAGNIFICENT bower for the lady fawn-breasted Bowerbird in the next cage over.  She was so pleased she laid him an egg, and managment decided to let the two lovers be together (once given some birdie birth control), and the Peacock was moved in with a much less ambitious Wilson’s Bird Of Paradise.

justnoodlefishthings:

thecolorsofwater:

ask-ickle-mod:

rasec-wizzlbang:

revereche:

rotifers:

becausebirds:

A conversation between a Raven and a Snowy Owl.

more stuff on becausebirds.com

It looks like the raven really wants the owl to leave and is trying to intimidate it, but the owl doesn’t care because it knows the raven is all bark and no bite. Or all squawk and no peck. Erm…

Actually, it looks more like the raven is curious about the funny bird and wants to sit next to it, and the owl doesn’t wanna be friends :[ The raven’s body language isn’t aggressive at all — it’s backing down appropriately when the owl displays aggression. Notice the way it’s careful to draw back every time it gets too close to the owl. This is an animal that’s trying to establish it isn’t a threat.

Keep in mind there’s a huge intellect disparity here — ravens exhibit novel tool use and complex communication, whereas owls aren’t even as smart as ducks. We’re sort of trained to view crows and ravens as villainous, but really they’re very playful animals.

“HI YOU’RE PRETTY WANNA BE FRIENDS??”

“HISSS”

This is so cute ‘cause I can imagine the crow being the talkative, friendly one and he’s just like “hi gosh wow you’re pretty I’ve never seen a white crow before! How’d ya get your feathers so white? Do you eat a lot of marshmallows? I eat a lot of marshmallows! This human lady feeds me marshmallows–” and on and on and the owl’s probably just like “What no go away”

This is adorable

My whole childhood just got ruined by that “owls aren’t even as smart as ducks”

(Source: https://player.vimeo.com/)