It’s actually impossible to measure how many fucks a corvid give because there is no device sensitive enough to register such a tiny amount.
science/animal side of tumblr… explain to me the birb thing
Tail Pulling is a behavior noted in many corvids. The practical application is to create a distraction that will allow the birb to make off with the target’s food. Imagine being in the lunch room and a large fellow has a Twinkie you covet. You can’t just take it from him because he’ll defend his Twinkie. But if you thwap him on the back of his neck and then dash around to snag the Twinkie while he investigates, you stand a decent chance of enjoying spongey goodness. This is basically that in birb form.
Except corvids don’t only do this as a distraction. Sometimes they seem to just being doing it to mess with other animals/birbs. But to use my lunch room analogy, there are times you might thwap someone sneakily on the back of the neck just for amusement. Primates exhibit behavior that appears to be just be annoying other animals for amusement. Given how intelligent crows are, its not unlikely that this is a manifestation of an innate desire to just fuck with someone else for the fun of it. Such as this from the link above:
THANK YOU FOR THE BIRB KNOWLEDGE
BECAUSE IT IS FUN
This speaks to me on a molecular level.
birbs just wanna have fun
Sorry to hijack a little, but to put it bluntly, corvids are also pretty BALSY. They are more than prepared to harass other huge birds of prey which could deal them a lot of damage. There’s plenty of cases of corvids ‘riding’ other birds as well. It’s often to harass the larger bird out of the area, but as @red3blog said, they quite often (in layman’s terms) enjoy fucking shit up for fun.
‘Where the hell is the seatbelt on this thing?’
I mean they deserve a medal for having such huge bird balls imo
2/2 so I was wondering if large birds just hate human
transportation or something haha. Thanks for your post, very
interesting.
(In reference to a comment I made about kayaks being incredibly rude in Swan Culture)
I’ve been looking at my inbox like “I am not some kind of ECCENTRIC BIRD WHISPERER,” but I actually know the answer to this one, and it’s hilarious.
Large birds don’t have a particular hateboner for human transportation, but wild turkeys have two unique properties that make them behave ridiculously when they collide with human populations. For those who aren’t familiar with them, wild turkeys are large, boisterous birds that tend to interact with humans most frequently around the autumn which is convenient for Thanksgiving and mating season in early spring. Most of the time, they live peaceable lives in the woods, but around November they run around in flocks bothering innocent citizens and picking fights with vending machines, and then they usually go away again.
The toms, or dominant males, can stand up to 4 feet tall and weigh up to 24 pounds. They’re the ones that do the fancy displays:
The First Unique Turkey Property: Now, wild turkeys are a little bit like betta fish, in that they perceive any shiny/reflective surface that shows them a reflection as actually containing Another Turkey, and they react accordingly. When they react to the Other Turkey – usually by posturing aggressively and flaring their fins feathers majestically – the Other Turkey ESCALATES THE SITUATION by posturing as well. At some point the real turkey loses its temper and attacks, pecking and scratching and trying to take the fucker apart, only to find that the Other Turkey has protected itself with some kind of force field.
So to a wild turkey that has encountered enough autumnal car-related psychic battles, the completely logical conclusion to take away from them is that cars contain demonic spiritsthat must be subdued. Other examples of things that wild turkeys are compelled to vanquish include… well, other reflective things.
To address this, cover reflective things (you can rub soap on your car to make it less reflective) and frighten off the turkey if it’s keeping you from leaving your car.
The Second Unique Turkey Property: This is a little bit embarrassing for all concerned, but you have to think about it like a turkey would. You see, humans are oddly compelling creatures to a hormonal turkey. We have bare faces with interestingly positioned lumps of flesh, we gobble our speech in a way that almost sounds like Turkey, we strut about on two feet showing off our long sexy legs, we strut about in family groups, we often have access to really good food, our clothing is big and bright and colorful. Turkey faces change color with their mood; human faces are all kinds of fascinating colors, plus additional fantastic decorations. To wild turkeys, humans are a type of turkey, and further: many humans are either Intimidating Sexual Threats, or Exciting Sexual Beings.
Now, I am very sorry about this, but not only can wild turkeys be kind of reverse furries, they also have unexpected ideas about gender and sexuality. So to some female turkeys, “male” humans are excitingly sexy and they will follow one around for embarrassingly long periods of time, cooing attractively – meanwhile, the tom turkey and the subordinate males will be OUTRAGED by the COMPETITION presented by the interloper, and will attempt to subdue “him.” And “female” humans are likewise at risk of being passionately seduced by the dominant toms, or quietly propositioned by subordinate males – or the females may attempt to recruit you into their existing social system – as a junior member, of course. They have a strict pecking order.
Unfortunately for humans, your preferred gender may not necessarily actually
translate to the gender that turkeys decide you are. And some turkeys
may decide you’re “male” while others will decide that you’re “female,” so that will be confusing, and some dominant female turkeys have “male” sexual traits – like beards and tail fans – anyway. They recognize and remember humans, so if you had a particularly exciting encounter with a specific turkey, it will probably remember you.
Also unfortunately for humans, the fine distinctions between Turkey Seduction, Turkey Competition, and Turkey Networking are usually a little bit lost, and all of this behavior seems to be the same thing – it mostly consists of a large dinosaur-like bird trotting at you, possibly screaming and pecking and flapping, and can be worrying. If you are in the car and the turkey can see you, and it wishes to
continue a previous encounter, it may well insist upon this in a
frightening way.
Turkeys don’t give a shit about human “gender” and “authority,” as the many available videos on the internet of turkeys attacking police officers, reporters and mailmen will assure you. They just make logical decisions that are perfectly natural and reasonable to turkeys, and humans react by running away.
So what do you do about this? Well, DO NOT RUN AWAY, this means you that you are a Submissive Turkey and their behavior will escalate. Turkeys can learn the meaning of “no,” and you don’t have to be bullied by them.
And the Massachusetts Fish and Game website has a huge resource explaining all the subtleties of wild turkey behavior and how to combat the nuisances. Essentially, you must not attempt to make friends with them or attract them; once they arrive, you must “be bold” and establish Dominance, and encourage everyone to do the same.
If the turkeys are aggressive around children and the elderly, all sources agree that if they become a danger, you can contact the relevant authorities and have the turkeys removed or destroyed.
Anyway, that’s why turkeys attack cars. The take-home message is: the cars are too shiny and you are possibly a sexy turkey.
I don’t know what you want to make of that
THANKS TO @soilrockslove WHO POINTED OUT THAT ONCE AGAIN I FORGOT TO EXPLAIN WHY KAYAKS ARE RUDE TO SWANS
IT’S THE THRASHING/PADDLING MOSTLY
AND THE BODY LANGUAGE
you just look like you’re flapping towards the swan with Filthy Intent, going extremely fast, skimming over the water and flailing your wings around threateningly, which in Swan is shaped like the beginning of a territorial charge, so they go “TIME TO FIGHT BITCH”
How much do swans hate kayaks?
in 2012 in Chicago an imported mute swan straight-up killed a man in a kayak. Plot twist: the man was his own caretaker.
Asbo, a UK mute swan who actively attacked boaters in Cambridge until he threatened tourism, was eventually removed from the river… to be replaced by his son “Asboy”, First Of His Name, who continues his father’s legacy.
Tyson, a UK mute swan of the Grand Union Canal, also chases kayaks fiercely enough to warrant news coverage – although the “chase scenes” aren’t actually that scary. Here he is doing a territorial charge.
See when Tyson moves from busking (holding up his wings and padding menacingly) to a full on flying charge, with his wings pumping up and down? That’s what kayaks look like they’re doing when they paddle towards him. Swans are territorial (they firmly believe that they own property) and this charge would indicate that he is being directly challenged for possession of his property. Since some male swans are willing to defend their property to the point of death, this is Problematic during kayak season.
Also, swans just hate kayaks. Canoes are a little better and powered boats don’t bother them (many of them genuinely like powered boats and recognize friendly ones.)
This was related on boater social media: a well-known lady who has a garden that backs onto the canal made friends with a swan family. Sadly, the pen (female) died, leaving the cob (male) as a single parent. Now, that cob is renowned for disliking kayaks and canoes, and with several rambunctious youngsters to raise, he often forgot his parenting duties in the thrill of seeing them off – or he’d have to compromise his chasing to go back and protect his babies. Anyway, one day there was a kayak race and a constant stream of kayaks went shooting through his territory. Within a few hours of “seeing off” the flow of invaders while also protecting his babies from them, cob exhausted himself completely. He gathered up his babies and dragged them up the bank and into her garden, where he presented the brood to the lady, and then passed out on her patio. She entertained the babies – and apparently had a lapful of napping baby swans for a few hours – until the cob woke up and felt ready to cope. Thankfully the race was over.
That cob has a new mate now so hopefully she won’t be called upon to babysit again.
Anyway, that’s why some swans hate kayaks. The end.
I can only assume I’m getting notes on this again because it’s Turkey Networking Season
Also, geese.
If an aggressive goose is coming at you, wait for it to lower its head to bite you, then reach down and grab it right behind the head. Pull the head towards you and to the side, crouch, scoop your other arm around the body to pin the wings, and lift. Congratulations, you now have a goose. Hang onto the neck (gently, don’t strangle), and you can now do whatever you want. I suggest offering it to nearby children to pet, and then taking it to the nearest large body of water and gently-but-firmly throwing it into the water. The goose will usually swim away very fast and not bother you again.
For multiple geese, run at them while flapping your arms and yelling. It looks silly, but it should establish your position as Largest, Most Dominant Goose, and they’ll leave you alone. This can also be used to keep them away from small children.
There is so many things wrong with this I don’t even know where to start
This is what I meant in that post about media influencing people–I hope that poor owl gets surrendered to the appropriate authorities and I hope her dumb ass stays away from animals forever
–mod Nick
her name is vegan hippie dont expect intelligence outta her
I’m a dipshit. what exactly is wrong here besides the leather strap thingy?
She has a “pet” owl, and she’s advertising on social media how to “care” for it, which is dangerous ( and more then likely is incorrect information) because other idiots with no clue are going to want an owl for a pet because it’s “exotic”
(There’s actually nothing wrong with the strap, which is called a jess. It allows for handlers to keep control of a bird, and you’ll often usually see it in falconry.)
No the big issue is that, normal (untrained or uneducated in wildlife or animal science) people shouldn’t have wildlife as pets. There’s this trend of people buying “exotic” wildlife, for the aesthetic but are completely unequipped to properly care or house these animals.
There’s a reason wildlife should only ever be kept in specialised facilities, taken care of by highly trained professionals.
It also raises the question of how she brought the owl in the first place. They aren’t extactly sold in pet shops or given away to normal people wanting a pet. I can almost guarantee that that owl was unethically sourced.
It’s also illegal in certain countries for private individuals to keep native owls asa pets. Only trained and licensed individuals are allowed to keep wildlife like this but only for the purpose of rehabilitation, as part of a breeding program, or for educational purposes.
And her username just makes it worse. Funny that vegans want to claim they care more about animals then everyone else, yet they continue to contribute to animal abuse with shit like this.
Also, having the owl perch on her shoulder like that is just *asking* to lose an eye or have the bird clench its feet and drive those talons to the bone.
Here is a picture of me being stupid with a tame screech owl. (seriously, this was fucking dumb on my part and I was chanting “don’t clench your toooooes” the entire time)
If pointy birb had decided to flex those feet, those talons would have gone all the way in my flesh. Look at how large they are even on this small a bird. Now imagine how big they are on a barn owl. We’re talking about 4 times as long, and much, much thicker.
Great point!
I don’t have much experience with birds (unless the bird is 6 feet tall and flightless), let alone with handling raptors.
Basics of owning an owl:
1: own a zoo or wildlife sanctuary
2: DON’T show it off as “look at my cute awesome pet lol :D”
(Edited after additional information was obtained from zookeeping cousin)
I told this story to a few guildies a while back and decided to archive it in a longer format; so here is the story of The Great Flamingo Uprising of 2010 as told to me by my favorite cousin who was a keeper at the time.
In addition to the aviary/jungle exhibit, our zoo has several species of birds that pretty much have the run of the place. They started with a small flock of flamingos and some free-range peacocks that I’m almost certain came from my old piano teacher’s farm. She preferred them to chickens. At some point in time they also acquired a pair of white swans (“hellbirds”) and some ornamental asian duckies to decorate the pond next to the picnic area. Pigeons, crows, assorted ducks and a large number of opportunistic Canada geese moved in on their own.
Now; the ponds that dot the zoo property (I don’t remember how many there are but the one by the picnic area is the only one with swans) were also full of ginormous koi fish, some of whom by now are at least three feet long. Sensing an opportunity to cash in on the koi, the zoo put up little vending machines all over the place that dispense handfuls of food pellets. I swear to god the fish can hear the crank turning, and will show up at the nearest railing, blooping expectantly at whoever happens to be standing there and doing their best to appear starving and desperate.
Like this.^ And they weren’t the only ones who learned to associate the sound with the imminent arrival of food. The Canada geese knew a good deal when they saw one, and had long since ceased to migrate anyway. They formed roving gangs of thug-geese and staked out their turf around the vending machines, ready to mug anyone with pocket change. Picture yourself as a small child squaring off with a bird as big as you are fully prepared to strip search you while standing on your feet and yelling “HWAAAAAKK!!” in your face. It’s deeply traumatizing to you and incredibly hilarious to your parents.
Anyway.
The flamingos had their spot near the zoo entrance and never seemed to mind the presence of the other birds, as they kept themselves to themselves and didn’t really like the taste of fish pellets. The problem lay in that their shrimp pond was close to a vending machine. Ordinarily that wouldn’t have been an issue at all, but eventually the goose population grew large enough that one of the gangs decided to annex it. Being territorial little shits, they would harass the poor flamingos any time they strayed within ten feet of it. The flamingos tolerated this for years until one day they snapped collectively. Here’s a summary of the incident in chronological order.
1.) It was a hot day, so everyone in question both human and avian, were cranky by the time the zoo even opened. 2.) A few flamingos (let’s call them The Jets) strayed into the radius of the vending machine and were immediately confronted by the indignant hissing geese (The Sharks) 3.) Possibly due to heat and the simple fact that the geese had been giant douchebags for far too long, the flamingos decided fuck it, this time they were going to FIGHT BACK DAMMIT, and swarmed the geese en masse. 4.) Chaos ensued. The geese were outnumbered 4 to 1 but had the advantage of being able to scream for back-up. 5.) Hearing the shrieking Canada geese and the bellowing of the enraged flamingos, the peacocks came to the conclusion that the apocalypse had come upon them and began to gather in the surrounding trees in droves and wail in despair. Or cheer them on, whichever. 6.) NOISE 7.) Apparently one of the siege tactics employed by geese is to shit explosively all over everything. 8.) The geese, having secured reinforcements from all over the zoo, went berserk and proceeded to attack EVERYBODY who had come to watch be they human or otherwise. 9.) The flamingos were chasing/being chased by the geese through the crowd accompanied by cheers/wails from the peacocks in the box seats. 10.) Complete pandemonium when the zoo tram became stalled by the flamingo pond due to battling birds. The Jets, sensing these were somehow reinforcements on the side of the Sharks, charged the tram. Adults were doing the duck and cover. Small children were screaming, adding to the noise. People were slipping on goose shit and hitting the ground in the fetal position, only to be stampeded by the rampaging flamingos. 11.) The koi continued to bloop hopefully for food. 12.) Two of the geese were cornered by a rival gang of their own and were chased into the swan pond. Cue slow-motion. 13.) The swans detected an enemy presence in their territory and by god, SOMEBODY was going to PAY. 14.) The staff were having no luck in breaking up the fight and on the verge of giving up and just building another zoo elsewhere when the hellbirds stormed the battlefield, trumpeting battle-cries, to dispense feathered justice. The staff promptly dropped their brooms and fled. 15.) Birds scattered in all directions. Up, down, sideways. Some people not present in the park circle swear a couple of geese flat out teleported into the petting zoo. A few ducks vanished in the chaos, presumably eaten by the swans. 16.) Two of the zookeepers barricaded themselves in the snack bar and refused to come out. 17.) The uprising was squashed in less than two minutes. Number of casualties was unknown, feathers were flying everywhere and there was enough goose shit to build another bird. One staff member had been knocked to the ground and was left with a melon sized bruise courtesy of one of the hellbirds. Several children were traumatized, probably for life. The zoo eventually removed the vending machine by the flamingos.
The geese went back to being giant douchebags. Because geese*.
Addendum: Somehow, my aunt D got hold of this story and posted a link along with the comment: “This sounds exactly like our zoo!” Zookeeping cousin replied: “This was exactly our zoo.”
*I’m really not kidding. This is a photo, taken at our zoo, of a gorilla being chased by one of the thug geese.
This is the reaction of parents ready to protect their offspring at all costs!
These greater sandhill cranes at a National Wildlife Refuge in the Western U.S. react to the approach of a bald eagle.
The bald eagle was closing in on a sandhill crane colt (juvenile) hidden
nearby. Both of the adult sandhill cranes aggressively drove the bald
eagle from the area.
I’m looking into getting a bird. The place I’m looking into getting a bird from suggested getting a hand raised cockatiel or green cheek conure. I’ve never had a bird before, but done a lot of research on both kinds of birds. I know cockatiels are usually quieter but conures are smarter and cleaner.
In your opinion, what is a better bird to get for a first time bird owner? Are their personalities comparable? Any opinions/advice you have would be much appreciated!!
First: don’t get a baby bird. Baby parrots are adorable and cuddly at first then they’ll hit sexual maturity and will be hell. For first time bird owners, this is just not something most people can handle. You want a stable adult. If you must get a parrot, I suggest adopting from a rescue, parrot specific rescues will work to match you up with the best fit.
Second: if you just want a bird, and not specifically parrot, then don’t get a parrot because even budgies and cockatiels aren’t domesticated. Pigeons, chickens, ringneck doves, ducks, and a few others are excellent DOMESTICATED pets with much simple care and often a more rewarding experience than a parrot.
ALL parrots are highly intelligent, a cockatiel will require the same amount of enrichment and stimuli as a green cheek, just as a budgie will require the same amount as a macaw, simply in different forms. There’s no such thing as a starter bird…all birds are indivuals and will require different care than a bird of the same species.
You don’t want to be asking what’s the best starter bird, but what’s the best bird for your situation. Do you want a cuddly companion who’ll love you no matter what? Get a pigeon or chicken. Do you want a bird that’ll entertain you but be more independent? Get a pair of ringneck doves, pigeons, or perhaps a species of finch. Do you want a bird that’s highly trainable? Pigeon or chicken. Do you want a bird that’ll be okay while you’re away but love you unconditionally when you get back? Pair of chickens or pair of pigeon hens. Do you want a project that’ll keep you busy day and night, that is estentially like having a hyper child that you can’t accurately communicate with for the next 15-90 years depending on the species? Then consider getting a parrot.
Most of what people want out of a pet parrot isn’t what they are. They can be cuddly at times, they can be incredibly loyal, they’re highly intelligent and don’t just mimic speach but can actually know what they’re saying…but for the average person, you don’t want what a parrot actually is, which is a wild animal that’s only domesticated to the point of color morphs. Pigeons and chickens are these things, just as intelligent but FAR easier to manage, these birds are like dogs in that they love humans on a genetic level. They come in an array of amazing colors, shapes, and temperaments, with the bonus of being readily affordable and accessible enrichment. You can get them from babies and they grow fast enough that their teenage stage isn’t a problem, or you can adopt a rescue bird which can be very easy to tame if it’s not already, given enough time and love.
Okay, pigeons and chickens are cool and all but legit as someone who has owned multiple parrots and has an uncle who breeds parrots who I help, they are nothing like what you are describing, ESPECIALLY if you get a baby. If you get a baby you get a cuddly companion for life who’s gunna want all the head scritches and cuddles. Every parrot I have raised from a baby (for myself and for others) has been this way with the exception of my budgie who was abused at the hands of some horrible house sitters. And even then, he’ll interact with me and cuddle in his own special way. He loves playing with my glasses, trying to groom me and pressing his bean to my nose to have some very serious chats. Adult parrots that have come into my home however have had some of the above issues. You are right though, parrots need enrichment and lots of attention. There’s no such thing as a ‘starter’ bird or an easy one, but parrots really aren’t that hard, particularly the breeds specifically mentioned here (cockatiels make great introductory parrots because they’re mellow and comparatively calmer than some more high strung breeds). If you’ve done your research like OP has, you get them young so you can socialise them and you put in the effort like any good pet owner should, then you get a happy, cuddly friend.
Pigeons and chickens may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but parrots are certainly a very, VERY specific taste. They are not domesticated animals, and most people will realize they made a mistake and abandon their parrot. This can be avoided by getting a bird that doesn’t scream, can’t rip of fingers or ears, won’t destroy everything…I do not dislike parrots, I adore them, but even a dedicated bird lover like me cannot handle them, and I am not the minority in this scenario.
I did my research when I got my green cheek. I read everything I could…yet it still ended up being a mistake. He hit sexual maturity, and between mental illness and my abusive dad, I couldn’t handle it. The fact that parrots are known for self mutilating, not just plucking feathers but literally tearing at their skin should tell you something. These are animals that don’t readily adapt to captivity even when they’re raised in it.
Please, don’t put another parrot into the cycle of being abandoned. I and my brother were lucky to find good homes for our parrots, but most end up just being abandoned over and over again. And if you get one, ADOPT. Shelters aren’t overflowing with pigeons and chickens from breeders, the biggest problem for them is the meat/egg industry which can be helped by keeping them and showing them as pets instead of utility. Parrot rescues are overflowing and they’re getting more birds than they can adopt out. They’re in debt because the birds are expensive and difficult, and people just keep buying baby parrots instead of adopting from a rescue, and then those baby parrots just end up in the shelter.
Parrots are awful pets.
I say that because the vast majority of people are incredibly unequipped to properly house a parrot. They are not creatures that are ideal for captivity, nor are they creatures that can adapt to captivity. Truthfully, they’re in the same category as monkeys as far as suitability for pets, namely “NOT”.
Please get a domestic bird that will do well in your house. Domestic birds can be happy as pets with relatively simple care, and they are not destructive. They also tend to be much quieter, and less prone to screaming ear-splittingly loud for no particular reason. They also can’t remove any parts of your body no matter how angry you are.
Do not get a parrot unless you are 100% certain you can handle what is basically an eternally bad-tempered toddler with wings and knives, and, if you are certain, ADOPT.
Dairy industry is as evil as meat. No less harm for animals. Does it look natural that calf can’t drink milk so you can taste your piece of cheese?
GO VEGAN.
WRONG
That calf is wearing a nose tag. Nose tags are put on calves so that they are able to stay with their mothers longer, but are unable to nurse. They don’t NEED to nurse as they get older, they just get greedier and pushier and will bash up the cow’s udder and bruise it with their noses.
This nose-tag is so that calves can stay with their mothers, their mothers can remain pain-free and healthy, and nobody is stressed.
Educate yourselves you ignorant fucking tarts.
…really? You don’t think it might have anything to do with the milk being stolen for human consumption? At all? Not even a tiny bit?
Militant vegans can fuck right off
Based on fur texture and face shape, that calf is at least six months old, probably older. Calves can survive without actual cow milk even at three months, though older is better (calves weaned that early are usually fed a sort of formula for another couple months).
Also, nose tags like that one don’t go through the cow’s septum. They basically work like those fake septum rings for humans.
In addition to weaning the calves, another use for nose tags is protecting non-lactating cows. Sometimes weanlings or even adult cows will suck on themselves or other non-lactating cows; this can cause internal teat scarring bad enough to prevent that teat or teats from ever working. I’ve seen this happen, and it’s ugly, probably at least somewhat painful, and, if bad enough, would lead to the cow being slaughtered at a very young age because she can’t produce milk, has chronic mastitis, and/or can’t be milked with automatic milking equipment. So, nose tags actually prevent animal cruelty.
Also, calves will suck on anything remotely oblong (and attempt to eat literally anything), even if they are being adequately fed or overfed. Often they will suck on other calves’ ears, and, since ears are longer than teats and cows have upper as well as lower teeth in the back of their mouths, many calves get bites on their ears, which often become severely infected. I’m not sure if nose tags would work there, because physics—a non-toxic but bad-tasting ear paint would be better—but yeah, letting a calf put anything it wants in its mouth is not always a good idea.
reblogging for educational purposes.
reblogging for people being schooled
This was the funniest argument about false cruelty I have read.. Thank you.
I love this for 2 reasons: Most people don’t realize that in farming areas agriculture/horticulture/animal husbandry is part of public school education from as early on as 7th grade. (Though I remember dissecting cow eyes in 4th grade science sooo) I assure you fifteen year old farm kids know more about what constitutes animal cruelty in farms than thirty year old vegans with, or without an agenda.
Also that if you really want good quality beef/pork/eggs/milk/etc you don’t abuse your animals. Ever. That’s not the point and if you want to make any kind of money off your career choice, you are going to treat those creatures better than you treat yourself. You’ll call a vet five times for an infection in your herd before you visit the hospital for a missing foot on your own leg.
So. Yeah. Watch out, because we’re getting internet access these days. We’re on tumblr too.
P.S. The immigrant workers farming your supermarket produce have no health care or legal protection, and the Bolivians farming your 365 Organic Quinoa can’t afford to eat it. But PLEASE won’t someone think of the poor baby cows who won’t get off the tit?!
Also this is a LOT nicer than what mother cows do to calves that won’t be weaned. You know what mother cows do to calves that won’t wean? kick them in the head. Now I don’t know about vegans, but I’d rather have a nose tag that discouraged me from injuring my mother (because calves that don’t wean tend to chew on udders and make mother cows bleed) rather than being kicked in the head. Source: I grew up on a fucking cattle ranch. I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.
“I have seen chickens skeletonize a mouse I KNOW SHIT.”
I’m sorry, what? What??? WHAT??? you can’t just leave it there please explain @thehornedwitch
Happy to explain! See, chickens are omnivorous. They eat bugs, plants, and meatstuffs. Y’know how crows and ravens and things eat meat? Well, chickens too. Ours had a particular fondness for ham when someone accidentally put it into the bucket of good scraps we set aside for the chickens. A bucket we tried to keep as meat-free as possible, because few things are more terrifying than a chicken looking you in the eyes as it scarfs down ham. Anyway, back to the mouse. One day i was doing Chicken Chores, like gathering eggs, putting out grain, emptying the bucket of greens, etc, when a mouse runs across the pen. All at once, eight or so chickens stop dead, look at it, and SWARM. Now I’m six at this point in time and developing a healthy fear of chickens, and so do nothing. By the time the chickens are done, all that is left of the mouse is its bones. I left the chicken pen very, very quickly. Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs. They will also cannibalize each other with reckless abandon. Sometimes we just had to remove one chicken to its own private pen away from the others because no matter what we did, that specific one always tried to eat the other chickens. We had one that really liked other chicken’s eyes. Bear in mind, our pens ensured each chicken had about five to six square feet all its own if you managed to space every chicken out evenly, we never locked them in teensy pen things, and fed them LOTS. These chickens just really, really wanted to maim. Chickens that are not Buff Orpingtons are the devil. Buff Orpingtons are sweethearts. If you must have chickens, have that kind. And never get Guineas. Guineas are SATAN INCARNATE. THEY SMELL FEAR.
Holy shit, I dont think I’ll ever use chicken as an insult again.
Holy Shit, same here that is terrifying
Will I’m using it as a compliment
I love farm animals.
“Chickens crave meat. They were dinosaurs. They did not forget that they were dinosaurs.”
If you’ve ever looked a chicken in the eye you know that they don’t just remember; they’re patiently awaiting the day they become dinosaurs again.
I have reblogged this before because watching farmers school vegans is always hilarious, but now we’re into birds, specifically fowl, and I have got stories.
I had to give my turkey an antibiotic injection once upon a time, and she turned the needle puncture into a six inch by three inch hole in her back overnight as she attempted to eat herself because apparently turkeys find themselves to be delicious. She had to spend 3 months duct taped into a tea towel (the bandages underneath cleaned and replaced daily, mind you) until it healed because she would not stop ripping the bandages off to continue consuming herself.
Your chickens strip a mouse to the bone? Mine draw and quarter them and run around with the parts shrieking. My peacocks grab mice, beat them to death on the ground with this insanely fast back and forth head twisting motion, and then swallow them whole. You would not think an entire adult mouse would fit in their face, and you would be wrong.
I knew a guy that used to regularly post photos of the 5-6′ long Copperhead snakes his peafowl would destroy. And I don’t mean kill, I mean destroy. These venomous snakes would get into the pens and the peas would just peck them into oblivion like nbd.
Fowl didn’t just used to be dinosaurs. They are still dinosaurs.
Thankfully they are small dinosaurs
and we can just tape them into tea towels if we have to
BEGGING for a Jurassic Park reboot where farmers run the place instead of brogrammer scientists, and the raptors frequently get scolded and taped into tea towels
All of these comments are good comments. Chickens are surprisingly vicious and will cannibalize like you wouldn’t believe. This is why vegetarian-fed chickens are just a scam to charge more money – actual chickens will eat anything they can get in their beaks. This is why pelicans creep me out – they constantly eye you like they are trying to see if they could fit you in their pouches. I’ve seen them eat seagulls. I know they’d try to fit a human in if they could.
And the calf information is all very relevant as well – pigs are prone to same issues, which is one reason canine teeth removal and tail docking is common – it limits the damage they can do to each other out of boredom/feeling like it.
We know that some of these management interventions cause stress and or pain. But we have to balance stress/pain now versus the risk of more later, and make our decisions based on that, and then intervene in the most humane way possible.
You know that “Lemme smash” video with the two birds and the blue and yellow and stuff?
yeah that one.
The girl bird in that video is a juvenile male of the same species. And the adult male is reportedly practicing his courtship on the younger male. (or that’s what the documentary says and it’s Attenborough so I trust him)
The video is literally 2 dude bro birds where the older one is hitting on the hot teen boy.
The video is two dudes.
Why isn’t THAT EXTREMELY IMPORTANT DETAIL going as viral as the video itself???
…some of you probably already knew that because some of you know more about birds than I do, but it’s super important to me ok???
(actual clip from Documentary below to show my sources)
BettSplendens Tumblr Evac 