Episode I, Part I: The Beginning of the Beginning:
HAHAHAHA. As much as I would love some more Kenobi Backstory, I kind of love that THIS IS THE FIRST THING WE EVER HEAR OBI-WAN SAY. It’s perfect. RUN OBI-WAN RUN IT’S ONLY GETTING WORSE FROM HERE.
Qui-Gon Jinn, his Hippie-ish Space Dad, remarks that he doesn’t sense anything. LOL AGAIN. Of course you don’t, Jinn. No one in this universe ever really does. (Except Obi-Wan here, I guess, but that’s probably just because he hasn’t met Anakin yet and so he still has a few brain cells available to think about things other than “keep Anakin from accidentally killing himself/others” for the time being.)
(Ten bucks says Anakin stubbed his toe over on Tatooine and Obi-Wan’s just sensing it through the Force.)
…I just love the idea of Obi-Wan being like “something Deep and Dark and Mysterious and Definitely Very Important permeates the Force, Master” and it’s just like, Anakin getting a minor injury or eating some bad snake meat or something. Because in Obi-Wan’s world this probably WOULD be a Seismic Event.
I keep losing my shit at OBI-WAN’S FACE and “It’s not about the mission. It’s something… elsewhere, elusive.” and imagining a smash cut to Anakin stubbing his toe on Tatooine.
But also:
QUI-GON’S FACE. “Not this shit again.”
HE HAS BEEN DEALING WITH THIS FOR NINE YEARS NOW. OBI-WAN PICKING UP “SOMETHING ELUSIVE” IN THE FORCE, NEVER HERE IN THE PRESENT, JUST SOMEWHERE OUT THERE. OBI-WAN JUST KNOWS IT.
NINE.
YEARS.
QUI-GON HAS PUT UP WITH THIS. HE IS SO DONE.
Ok but consider an AU where Qui-Gon gets fed up and decides once and for all that they’re going to work out what is behind these feelings of Obi-Wan’s so he can stop getting distracted on mission. They end up playing a galactic game of “hot or cold” and causing all sorts of mayhem on their way to Tatooine…
Where they find a small child who Obi-Wan’s senses are screaming “this one!” about and Qui-Gon is torn between excitement about a potential Chosen One and dismay because he was rather expecting this whole exercise would prove to Obi-Wan once and for all that he just needed to keep his mind on the present!
And we’re all in agreement that Anakin has, of course, also been sensing Obi-Wan this whole time and goes bolting out of the door of the shop all IM OVER HERE IM OVER HERE ITS YOU ITS YOU when he senses that Obi-Wan is in his immediate vicinity, yes?
Well of course! I mean without whole “Queen in Peril” “Sith following us” drama Anakin’s senses are free to focus on the really important fact that Obi-Wan is RIGHT HERE!
It takes next to no time before the Jedi are dragged to see Shmi because “They’re IMPORTANT Mom!” and neither Anakin nor Obi-Wan have noticed that they’re still holding hands…
Qui-Gon and Shmi share a LOOK that is full of meaning. Predominantly “Oh thank that Force I’m not the only one who has had to put up with this” but more than a little “yeah, we’re not going to be separating them, better start planning” too!
Oh my god, I want to write this soooo Bad!! I’m just in love with The idea of the force just saying: “yup, those two dorks are going to save the universe TOGETHER or it just doesn’t get saved!” and then tying them together with a Nest bow on top
And okay, my first though was “and the galaxy was saved because even Anakin Skywalker would struggle to keep trusting Palpatine with that music playing in the background”
Anakin think he’s gone COMPLETELY insane (maybe he’s finally been electrocuted too many times and its fried his brain). He doesn’t tell anyone though because he can still fight just fine just… everything is a lot more musical. He doesn’t want to be thought crazy and taken off the front lines.
Once he figures out what the various musical cues mean he actually finds them useful in figuring out how dangerous a situation is. Also battles are so much cooler now and boring landscapes are slightly less boring because at least now they have mood music. Yep, he can live with this.
(Although he is always confused why the ominousness that is The Imperial March starts playing at some of his decisions)
*cracks up*
Anakin: I’m so worried about something. I should probably keep my feelings to myself and attempt to solve my problems by working with Palpatine. He seems like he has my best interests at heart.
Music: DUN DUN DUN, DUN DA-DUN, DUN DA-DUN!
Anakin: [pauses] [looks around] Uh…OK. I mean, I’ll…go talk to Obi-Wan?
Music: [hopeful woodwind instruments]
Anakin: …and be open and honest about my life and what is bothering me, and try to work out a non-violent resolution to my problems?
The Force: Son, please… Guess I’m gonna enable the hints menu.
THE HINTS MENU. *dies*
Maybe Obi-Wan hears the music, too, and then the day is saved.
Obi-Wan: [walking away] Welp, guess it’s off to kill Grievous I’m sure Anakin will be fi –
Music: [Duel of the Fates]
Obi-Wan: OMG not this shit again [runs back down the hall towards Anakin]
Anakin: [running back towards Obi-Wan] Obi-Wan I just heard that Ominous Music again and also I secretly married Padme and she’s pregnant and I haven’t slept in 6 days and I keep thinking she’s going to die and I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT and if you leave I will 100% end up killing everyone and –
Obi-Wan: – oh my God! OK…it’s OK, I heard my own ominous music a second ago when I was getting ready to leave and so I won’t and we’ll fix th –
Anakin: – I heard mine when I thought about maybe talking to the Chancellor instead of y–
Palpatine: [sidling up behind them smugly] Everything all right, gentlemen?
Music: [scary ass music from the opera scene]
Anakin and Obi-Wan: AHHHH
I randomly thought of this post again today and it made me laugh
For the record in that last line I always pictured them clinging to each other in fear like Shaggy and Scooby:
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