Hello I’m 17 and am being kicked out of my home as soon as I’m 18 I’ve been trying to prepare my self for this and have estimated 7,350 dollars in my bank account I have no credit and my parents have repeatedly told me we are cutting you off and disowning me how fucked am I? Please any advice would be extremely helpful and very very appreciated

bitchesgetriches:

yournewapartment:

yournewapartment:

First of all- take a second to breathe. You are in a terrible situation, but you are strong and resilient and you have $7,000 in savings. You WILL get through this! Also you have more money than both my boyfriend and I put together currently, and we rent an apartment with 2 cats. You can do it!

I have a few questions for you-

1. Do you have a job?

2. Do you want to attend a university?

3. Are you opposed to living with roommates?

4. Do you have transportation?

My Parents Are Forcing Me To Move Out- What Can I Do?

I get a lot of questions about this. Here are some steps that you can take while still living in your parents house, steps that will help you work towards getting a place of your own. Stay strong! You’ll get through this.

1. Important Documents. Get as many of your important documents (social security card, birth certificate, tax forms, etc) as possible while you’re still living with your parents. You will need this information when you move out, and it may be harder for you to get these documents after you’ve moved out.

2. Get a job. If you’re still in school, limit yourself to a part-time job that can become a full-time job when you finish your education. You can’t save up money if you don’t have a job, and this will just force you to be dependent on your parents financially.

3. Get transportation. Get yourself a mode of transportation that does not rely on your parents. Biking, walking, and using public transportation are all ways that you can get where you need to be without their help. You cannot rely on any car that’s in their name (even if they call it “your” car). I’ve had multiple friends dealing with difficult parents have their cars taken away from them in an attempt to further control their lives.

4. Start saving money. Even if this just means saving $100 every two weeks, this is still a great start!

5. Separate bank account. Speaking of saving money, get yourself a bank account that your parents don’t have access to. A friend of mine tried to move out of her home and her parents literally moved all her money into their account because they had joint access. If you cannot get a separate bank account, start saving money in cash in a good hiding spot.

6. Start paying for your own devices. You do not want your parents to be able to threaten to take your phone away if they don’t like the choices you’re making. You should also change any passwords on devices that your parents may know.

7. Utilize resources that get you out of the house. There are lots of spaces that you can hang out after school for free, including public parks and libraries. Join clubs and volunteer your time if you can’t stand being home.

8. File as independent on your taxes. We’re a while away from tax season, but remember to file as independent on your taxes. This means that your parents can no longer claim you as a dependent and will no longer receive a tax break from the government for housing you. What it means for you, is that you will no longer be considered part of their tax bracket. This means you’ll have a better chance at applying for financial aid, health insurance, car insurance, etc.

9. Involve your college. If you’re looking to go to university sometime in the future but are afraid you can’t afford it, find out if your college has any programs for independent students. Many SUNY schools have what is called the EOP Program and the Independent Student Program, which will pay for your college tuition based off your independent tax status. You cannot rely entirely on FAFSA to pay for your tuition! Talk to a school counselor and find out what is offered. PS: Many of these programs are first-semester admit only, so take that into consideration.

10. Keep your housing search a secret. I hate to generalize with parenting, but if your parents are threatening to throw you out or are forcing you to move out, it’s probably not a good idea to let them know that you’re going to move out. Oddly enough, two of my friends who have been in this very same situation got ready to move out of their respective homes, only to have their parents freak out. Even if your parents are saying that they’re going to force you to move out, they may not believe that you actually can and will do it. They may try to stop you or use emotional tactics to control you and keep you home. When you do move out- do not under any circumstance tell them your address.

11. Build your support system. Tell as many trustworthy people as you can what is happening, so that they can be there to support you during this time. You’ll have places to crash in if you need to, so your parent’s house isn’t your only option. I would try to tell at least one “Adult” in your life- a teacher, a counselor, your employer, etc. Obviously you don’t want them talking to your parents, but they may be able to offer support and confidence.

12. Decide on an apartment budget. Decide what you can afford, based off of how much money you’re making. Find out if any of your friends are going to get their own place, and see if you can find a roommate. This will save you so much money and headache in the long run. If you can’t find a roommate and can’t afford an apartment, look into renting a room in a house or shared space.

13. Learn some life skills. Cooking, cleaning, sewing, basic repair, car maintenance, laundry, etc are all useful skills that you will need when you move out. Start mastering them now, and you’ll feel more confident when on your own.

14. Discount stores. Get familiar with shopping for yourself at discount stores. While shopping at the Dollar Store may not be ideal for you, I recommend that you buy all your starter groceries and household supplies there. Off-brand items will save you $$!

15. Make plans for pets. Do not leave your pets at your parent’s house. If you can’t move them into your new place, find a friend who can pet sit until you find a more comfortable situation. Do not let your parents hold your pets over your head as emotional leverage!

16. Be prepared to buy new furniture. Your parents may not allow you to take any furniture with you when you move. Be prepared to spend some money on things like mattresses, tables, cooking supplies, etc. Peruse local yard sales and bargain bins to see if you can scavenge any supplies. Hit up your friends and coworkers to see if they have any furniture/supplies they’re not using. Honestly this is how I got half of the furniture in my apartment.

17. Try to keep it positive. Throughout all of this, please remember that your parents do love you, even if they’re not expressing it in a positive way. Be above toxic behavior and any emotional bullying they may throw your way, and when you do move out try to let them know that you love them and hope they will support you. They may ignore you or refuse to talk to you for some time after you move out, and this is okay. They will eventually get to the point where they miss your contact, and you should be prepared for that opportunity to start fresh. I’ve known people whose relationship with their parents has improved 100% after they move out. Some personalities are just not meant to live together. Give them the time they need to adjust, and be proud of yourself for everything you’ve done!

I hope this helps!

This is one of the most important posts on Tumblr.

Okay, that last one?

Some people’s parents do not love them. Some people’s parents are awful, awful people who should not have children.

The rest of this is great advice, though.

siobhanblank:

ratspotting:

As many of y’all know, I live in an extremely abusive household with controlling, manipulative, and cruel parents. My mother is particular is prone to violence, and the constant fear is wearing on my mental health.

Is there anyone in Houston around the Bellaire area that’s willing to let me come hang out / stay nights just to get away for a bit? It’s not urgent right now but I’d like to have people to turn to if things go wrong again. I’m 19 and I don’t drink nor do drugs, and I can drive myself. Feel free to message me. I may make a more elaborate post later.

Please spread this around.

fetus-cakes:

0l0x:

Another thing about bullying:

If an adult pushed another adult to the ground and forced them to eat dirt/dog shit/vomit/whatever it would be called “abuse”, the public would be horrified, and the aggressor would be in prison.

It would be “sexual assault” if that adult sneaked up behind another and cut their bra strap with scissors, pulled their skirt up or their pants down, or grabbed body parts for “laughs”.

It would be “assault” if an adult followed another adult home every day to spit on them, yell slurs, hit them, trip them, etc.

It would be “theft” if an adult stole another’s food and belongings.

So why the flying fuck when kids do these things to other kids, adults say “it’s just typical schoolyard roughhousing, it’s normal!”

NO IT’S FUCKING NOT??

It’s abuse of a human being and it’s far from “normal”, it’s a LEARNED BEHAVIOR from a SHITTY ENVIRONMENT. The victim will have to battle this trauma and the resulting complexes for the rest of their lives, and if your child does these things to others, it means you seriously fucked up as a parent. You child is not “normal”, they are an abuser.

All of these examples were things that I either experienced or saw done to others at school when I was a kid. And these things continued to happen because the shitty abusive adults with shitty abusive children would say “kids will be kids!”

Call it what it is. Bullying is not “normal”, it’s abuse.

And for all the kids currently going through this, I’m SO sorry that the incompetent adults around you are trivializing your pain.

You are not “crazy”, you are not “too sensitive”, you are not a “snitch”. You are a human being bearing the weight of someone else’s major fuckup and your feelings are 110% valid.

children will do awful things because they’re still learning about what’s appropriate, about boundaries and to respect the bodies of others

HOWEVER that doesn’t mean this behaviour is alright, it means that they should be taught it’s wrong! adults that don’t do anything about it are teaching shitty lessons

Touch

No matter what, touch came first. Being together came first.

No matter how urgent the situation, no matter what they
needed to do or who was in the way or how much energon was on the floor, touch
always came first. A full-body press, at least, contact of plating against
plating, and more if they had even the slightest chance.

Touch and stroke and run
fingertips along each other’s frames, soothe hurts, re-familiarize themselves
with each other in the wake of everything that left new scars. Touch was all
they had- not their freedom, not safety, not respect, nothing else. Just touch,
when they were allowed it, and each other.

It wasn’t always something they were allowed. If they hadn’t
done well enough, if they gave in to exhaustion, they were kept apart. Primus
forbid one of them actually make a mistake,
because then the other would be locked away and hurt, and they wouldn’t be allowed together again to try to make it
better until the mistake had been wiped away and the project vastly improved.

They spent a long time terrified of making mistakes.

And then… they were free. Their captor lay dissolving in the
bottom of a closet filled with enough toxin to down a legion, and they were
off, together, and free.

Touch.

That was, as always, their first priority. Find a safe place
and touch, merge, press together into
one and hold each other close for as
long as they could.

Then, after that-

Raid a ruined mine. Find the massive drills, machinery meant
to carve out tunnels in rock, and take the laser emitters. The lasers had to be
downsized considerably for their purposes, but, eventually, they had a supply
of servo-held lasers that could cut through just about any barrier between them.
Sure, it would overheat, but that didn’t matter. The tool just needed to last
long enough to do its job, and its job was to cut down anything in their way.

Because nothing was
ever going to separate them again.

And they proved that, to themselves and to the world. The
first mech to try, a former guard of theirs, died messily as acid ate through
his spark chamber. The first wall to be placed between them crumbled and fell
under an onslaught of lasers meant to carve through miles of solid metal. The
same went for the next, and the next. Mechs who tried to order them apart were
threatened, those who tried to enforce it paid,
those who kept trying died. Walls and doors and air vent covers alike caved
before them, and they stayed together.

Until finally, finally,
they could stand not to be touching. Until they could stand on either side
of a table, not in reach of each other, and not start panicking. Until they
stopped flinching and reaching for each other if one of them made a mistake or
an experiment didn’t work out.

Because they were safe.

They were together.

They could touch, no
matter what, no matter what happened or how badly something failed.

Because nothing, absolutely
nothing, could stand between them.

Because they were together.