the fact that the weight of chris and scarlett still doesn’t equal to thor look at their feet actually sliding lmao hemsworth is strong af
Look how fuckin DELIGHTED evans is holy shit
Chris Evans is like a three year old who thinks Chris Hemsworth, age five, is a deity. In every image where they’re together he’s almost invariably adoring. There’s one where Hemsworth has him in a headlock and Evans is just like “this is my life now and that’s ok.”
Chris Evans is embodiment of that picture of the dog who goes to the dog park for the first time and get sat on by a bigger dog and just accepts its fate with a smile.
So these are both “Aw Fuck I’m outta real food” meals BUT ALSO: if you’re learning how to cook, these are great “baby steps” meals to learn how to cook basics into something enjoyable without “wasting” anything expensive. Though I maintain that even cooking screw-ups are valuable in terms of lessons learned.
Also they’re great for when you get absorbed in something and you realize your blood sugar is dropping and you need to make something Quick.
THIS IS BDSM: Partner 1: I get sexual gratification out of being hurt. Please hurt me! Partner 2: Okay, but I need you to let me know if it gets to be too much or if you want to stop, we need to agree on what we’re doing, I need to know your limits, what you’re willing and not willing to do, and we need to have a safeword. If you ask me to stop I will stop immediately and we’ll talk it over.
THIS IS ABUSE: Partner 1: Please don’t hurt me! Partner 2: I will do whatever I want and I don’t care how it’s affecting you.
Tonight I may have had an encounter with the smoothest human being on earth.
As many of you know I work as an actor in a haunted house. This is a fun job for many reasons, but witnessing people’s reactions to being scared is by far the best. I’m a scare window actor, which means I hide behind a section of the wall that is held up by a latch that I can lift and drop away suddenly, scaring people with both my scream, and the loud sound my window makes upon being dropped. I have a small hole drilled in the wall to look through to see people passing.
The smoothest human being on the planet wore a white hoodie. He came in a group with three other friends. I did not expect to scare him much. After a while you can kind of gauge just by what you can glimpse from your peephole whether someone will be a good scare or not. Men in their 20’s in a mixed group of friends typically do not get scared easily. But this guy was wearing white in my blacklight-equipped hallway, so he had made himself an easy target and I had to take advantage.
I dropped my window precisely when he was in front of it.
He leapt back toward the wall on the other side of my narrow hallway and his drew back his arm like he meant to punch me.
“This is it.” I thought. “I’m finally going to be socked in the face for scaring someone.”
But I was wrong.
His arm kept curling back behind his head. Smoothly, flawlessly, effortlessly he tucked his hand behind his head, leaned back on the wall opposite me, and propped a foot up on the plywood frame of my open window, reclining with ease.
“So, come here often?” He asked.
All of this occurred within the span of a second. Maybe two.
I was shook. I was stunned. I almost broke character.
I shrugged. “Only on the weekends.” I replied with my character voice. His group laughed. He double finger gunned me and walked on.
I will never forget him.
I cannot stress enough how perfect his transition from his fear reaction to his playboy act was. It flowed so naturally.
Last week, I got attacked by the most painful and persistent hiccups of my life at work. My co-worker heard me hiccuping and said, absently, “Got the hiccups?” and I said miserably, “Yeah.” And she said, “Prove it.”
And I glared at her, because why the fuck should I prove anything to her? And I waited for the next hiccup, which would prove that she was a dick and that I was, indeed, suffering from hiccups. And… that hiccup never came. And she smirked and said, “My daughter calls me whenever she has hiccups and when I ask her to prove it, she never can.”
And that was weird. But later that night, I got hiccups AGAIN, so I said to my boyfriend, “I HAVE HICCUPS.” and he said “Yeah, you do.” And I said, “No, ask me to prove it.” And he gave me a look like I was a crazy person, and I hiccuped again and insisted he ask me to prove it and he did and BAM. I couldn’t do it!
And a few days LATER, I got the hiccups WHILE DRIVING ALONE, and I said, out loud, “DUDE, I have the hiccups.” And then, in another voice, “PROVE IT.” And bam. Couldn’t do it.
The moral of the story? Apparently hiccups are little shits who refuse to perform on command.
There you go. Hiccup cure. I can’t promise it’ll work for everyone, but so far, it’s worked for me like six times.
You’re welcome.
I was told to concentrate really hard on that next hiccup like you’re trying to force it to show up, really reeeeeaaaaaally think about that next hiccup… it cures my hiccups most of the time
BettSplendens Tumblr Evac 