A lot of my OCs are like… 45 year-old chaotic neutral irresponsible moms have probably definitely been chased by pitchfork-wielding townsfolk at least once and have a run afoul of a demon or six.
My current Project: a short story about a guy.. and his fish erh, merSHARK. And when I mean merShark..I mean a merWHALEshark. Still dicking (HAH) around with the character designs before I can start this project at the end of 2014. I have a thing for monster/mytho characters
did I ever mention that I know someone whose family owned a zombie dog because that’s some real shit that I get to delight with at parties
Tell us that story?
okay here is the story of the zombie dog
this dog’s name was John. they found him half drowned in a bag of puppies that were not so fortunate as he was, and was taken in immediately. he was a runt and not quite right (most likely from the whole half drowned thing), but a very loving dog. the problem with John was that he smelled like death, and no one knew why. vets couldn’t figure it out. it was obviously some kind of skin problem, but they had no idea what kind. all anyone knew was that if you touched him, you would smell like death too, so you couldn’t pet him, and that for some reason, the only thing that made the smell go away was being around other dogs. so they got another dog and the death smell stopped and John lived a very happy life
when he was getting old, maybe about 15 years, part of his skull caved in. just like that! suddenly had a huge dent in his head! and he was totally fine. didn’t notice it, didn’t affect him at all. just this massive dent right there in his head where his skull had collapsed in on his brain, and he was still the happiest and most loving dog. the skull cave in, for whatever reason, caused the ear on that side of his head to just fall off entirely, but again, perfectly happy dog who did not know he was down an ear and a fully formed skull. they took him to the vet, thinking maybe they should put him down. I mean, wouldn’t you think so? but the vet said that the dog was eating, and pooping, and happy, so there was no reason to put him down, so they didn’t
but that’s not even the weird part. the weird part is the area of the brain that got caved in on was apparently the area that registers pain, so this one-eared, collapsed skull dog could no longer feel any pain. he got old, his joints got stiff, his teeth rotted out of his head, his tongue hung out of his mouth and got black and hard, and he felt none of it! in fact, he was happier than he’d ever been feeling no pain, and the fact that he didn’t feel how much he was falling apart somehow made him live until he was 23. that’s right, the collapsed skull, one eared, zero teeth, smells like literal death when alone dog lived to be 23years old. they used to joke that he’d been dead for years, but was too stupid to realize it yet
and that’s the story about the literal zombie dog my friend’s family owned
I’n simultaneously delighted, alarmed, a little horrified and impressed all at once.
So here’s some pics of my Man in the Tan Jacket cosplay from Colossal con. Its still sort of a WIP, I need to add the flies all over the jacket still and fix some other small things.
Oh and I had speakers in the suit case so it had the flies buzzing inside it. Creeped some people out. 😀
one time i meant to send my qpp a hashtag millennial joke txt about my ptsd but i accidentally sent it to my manager and i died that day n never recovered its arguably the most mortifying thing ive ever done bc hes a war veteran of 26 years in the military
mISTAKES
one time i told him that i hadnt eaten in a couple days bc i was stressed out n he was like “yeah i know that feeling, i didnt eat for two weeks once” and i was like oh no why were you sick? and he goes “well i was in the cafeteria and a bomb flew over my head and blew up our kitchen and bathrooms and so i just didnt leave my room for a couple weeks lmao yeah it really fucked me up” AND I WAS KUST LIKE OH OK JOHN HOLY SHIT???
i told him that i went shark diving a few years ago and evenTHEN HE WAS LIKE “oh yeah i remember scuba diving in like shark infested waters for training it was really cold” JOHN PLEASE
hes a super chill dude tho who just wants hugs and hes always rly respectful n is asking ppl about their boundaries so he doesnt cross over any lines and like one time we were talking and i confided in him abt my mental issues n i was like “i know it probably sounds stupid to hear from me like oh haha yeah sure dave youve got ptsd ok stop being dramatic ur like three years old” but he immediately was like “anybody can have ptsd, its post-TRAUMATIC and what causes that is something BAD, you dont have to b in a war for bad things to happen to you” and i was like How Are You So Nice Thank You John Thats So Sweet WTF
10/10 guy n he laughs at my jokes when i flip out
gonna wrap up this post set with one more quality john moment: he was frumping around the back of the store and was like “i dont understand why customers r intimidated by me? i guess im scary” n i was like
john ur not scary you are like a tiny delicate flower
AND HE JUST GETS ALL BASHFUL AND SMILES N LOOKS DOWN N GOES “aaawe, thanks,,” LIKE GAAAHHHH
i highly recommended ppl finding more johns in their lives
hey guys how do you think Ford fit a pair of dentures and a giant eyeball (and… a baseball?) into a narrow-necked bottle?
It’s a cartoon not EVERYTHING can be taken seriously
FALSE now tell me how the shapeshifter managed the law of conservation of mass
It just got really dense when it had to shift into smaller things, or its larger shapes are highly expanded and mostly not dense.
And he got them in the jars by growing them in there, like you do with cucumbers. You find a tiny cucumber still on the vine, put a jar over it without cutting it off, shade it so it doesn’t get fried in the sun, and wait until it’s too big to pull out of the jar.
That, or he used the shrinking crystals to make them small, dropped them in, and made them big again.
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