Hmm, the cockateil on a leash and harness is definitely a top contender. I mean, there just seemed like so many potential ways for that situation to go badly. Aside from the risk of letting go of the leash, it only takes one jumpy dog and the bird becomes a tasty snack.
But another top contender is the couple that decided to transport two piglets in a plastic box, with a lid, and no air holes. Yeah, the RSPCA had a chat with them.
I recently bought two peppered cockroaches (very large tropical roaches) from someone who had taken them to a ComicCon to show off, and who was not expecting to sell them. Transported the roaches home in a (cardboard) business card box held shut with a piece of Gorilla tape, with some moss inside, closely watched the whole way to be sure they didn’t try and get out. They didn’t. I wouldn’t do it again on purpose, but it worked!
Another Runaway to the Stars character: Shyam Joshi is a machinist and heavy equipment specialist by trade living on a large terraformed planet originally funded by settlers from the old Earth country of India. She hails from one of the largest and oldest GMH populations, the tailed spacers, who were designed to withstand long periods of time in microgravity. In addition to a prehensile tail and gripping feet, tailed spacers also have extreme resistance to bone and muscle loss, layers of specialized pigment in their skin to help shield them from cosmic radiation, and numerous other internal modifications. Shyam herself is uninterested in space travel and has lived on-planet her whole life.
The crew of the Runaway encounters Shyam when they stop at her planet in need of repairs. Talita hangs around the shop to supervise, and during this time her and Shyam become (shuffles notes) …very close.
This sneaky noodle unfortunately made his way into a living room while the family was home. Luckily they did the right thing and kept everyone well away, simply watching the snake’s movements and calling for advice. After a short search we found this gorgeous, orange-peachy-brown snake tucked in behind the curtains. Unlucky, my release photos completely fail to do this stunning animal justice as it was rather adamant on heading towards the road instead of the bushy patch we had found. After a few turn-arounds, and perhaps noticing the long grass and wetland available, he took off rather quickly into the scrub 🙂
So lovely! I’m glad everyone came out of the situation healthy.
Children playing with Barbies in media:“This is Sally. She’s the mommy. She loves fashion, swimming, and she drives a convertible! She has a baby with Ken and sometimes they kiss.” OR “Look, I ripped Barbie’s head off! Ha ha ha! I’m a boy.”
Children playing with Barbies in real life: “This is Aurora, the fallen goddess of the sky. She has been banished from her kingdom and bound to a mortal body by her sister, who rose to power by human sacrifices. She now leads an army of cannibal water spirits who eat men. Sometimes they have orgies. They dismembered a traitor and keep her head on a Popsicle stick as a warning to others. Aurora can turn into a wolf and uses battle magic to paralyze her enemies. The king of the stuffed animals developed rabies and she had to slay him to save his people, but they do not understand that it was an act of mercy and kindness and are sending assassins after her for regicide. This is Aurora’s soulmate, Crystal, but her soul is trapped in a gemstone while an evil spirit pilots her body and attempts to murder her friends.”
what they mean: i dont know how to handle small animals and consider them lashing out in SELF DEFENSE an insult
Usually what it boils down to is “I’m mad because the cat didn’t act like a dog”.
Pushing fragile things off tables and breaking them: Self defense.
Destroying Christmas Trees: Self defense, I mean the tree attacked them.
Scratching their owner’s eyeball: Self defense.
Scratching their sleeping owner’s face: Self defense.
Jumping on their owner’s back and clawing into their spine: Self defense.
Admittedly yeah
A dog doesn’t do those things because a dog’s version of self defense is to be a good animal who loves you and doesn’t attack you unless you attack them first.
I mean if a cat feels that threatened by everything in their owner’s household maybe the owner shouldn’t have gotten a cat.
Pushing fragile things off tables and breaking them: Playing. Cats are well-known to like to play with small objects. Your cat does not know what “fragile” means and does not understand the distinction between toy and not-toy objects. Place fragile things out of a cat’s line of sight and reach, and if you don’t provide them with enough enrichment items that they go looking for them, that’s on you.
Destroying Christmas Trees: Cats like to climb things. They’re not doing it to spite you.
Scratching their owner’s eyeball: Probably an accident, due to overstimulation when playing. It wasn’t trying to hurt you. Don’t anthropomorphize animals by attributing spite to them. Animals don’t do spite the way that humans do.
Scratching their sleeping owner’s face: Trying to rouse you with its paw, probably gently, because it loves you and wants to play with you.
Jumping on their owner’s back and clawing into their spine: Come on. If a cat is jumping on you, it loves you and wants to be close to you. Digging in with its claws is how it balances itself on an unstable surface and is purely a reflexive reaction. It isn’t intending to hurt you.
99% of cat behavioral problems stem from bored cats. Cats need to climb, need to scratch, and need small objects to play with. I only recommend adopting cats in pairs, so that they can keep each other entertained. Cats are not purely solitary. They get lonely, and lonely cats act out. Once again, your entire problem with cats as a species seems to stem from the fact that you don’t understand how cats express affection and it upsets you that they don’t do so the way that dogs do. Cats aren’t small dogs and cannot be expected to behave as such.
FELINE PROTECTION SQUAD
Also you need to clip their claws. All of those “scratching” behaviors are preventable if you clip them regularly. There are cat expressions of love that will hurt like hell if their claws are left to grow. It’s not their fault, they think you are a big cat and will treat you accordingly. They don’t really understand that we don’t have layers of protective fur.
(This is not to say you should declaw your cat. Declawing is inhumane and if you can’t handle an animal with claws, don’t get a cat.)
aww its a cute gif of a shark trying to bite but his mouth’s too smAHHHHWHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT OH MY GOD STOP NO STOP STOP STOP
if anybody is interested in being even more scared: these motherfuckers have been found in most oceans around the world and have existed for over 30 million years
The deep ocean is as close to hell as it gets man, this things a fucking nightmare
i’m pretty sure this is a goblin shark and there are far more scarier fish in the ocean and in fresh water rivers and streams.
for example:
tiger fish
vampire fish
basking shark
snakehead fish
and who can forget old mate
ANGLER FISH
even better, the Sarcastic Fringehead (yes Legit name) (also Known as ‘predator fish’)
Terrifying
my inner aquarium volunteer is screaming (SARCASTIC FRINGEHEADS OGHGHGHHFKgjdfhgJDGH) okay here we go
awww look it’s vampyroteuthis infernalis what a cutie
wait what—
whAT
hi missus footballfish how was your day??
Oh wait shit I forgot ur dead and preserved in formaldehyde that was rude of me sorry u look lovely mrs footballfish
hello i interrupt this scary marine animal showcase to present mr. california sheephead
he was born a girl like all his sisters. but since he had the biggest jaw size of the group
he changed into a dude fish who takes care of his sisters isn’t that so sweet
look at his lumpy ass head tho.
now back to your regularly scheduled scary-ass fish. oh look it’s cookie cutter shark
Oh WOW, finally finished this thing that made me struggle for two months, and looks nothing how I wanted it to look! Yay! Can you see the rush in the last panels? Of course you can!
Anyway, I can’t draw serious/smutty comics apparently. Or comics at all for that matter. BUT hey, look at that! What is this?! An old pharma-bot getting spark-deflowered by a ugly, wild and untamed bounty hunter? Yes, this is what it is! Watch him put that on his trophy wall!
Planned for it to be messy and sticky, but along the road it decided it wanted to be cute and only hint at “oh why yes, there is some sticky there, if you squint really really hard.“
*Abusive parent voice* Here is my memoir about my abnormal child, who was a mistake that nearly ruined our family, yet also stands to teach us valuable lessons about ourselves. Read on to discover a heartwarming tale of my own Heroic Martyrdom as an underappreciated parent-victim of a thing that shouldn’t’ve been born, its zany antics, its even zanier thoughts and emotions as deduced by me through a combination of projection and convenience, and what finally made me realize it$ exi$tence wa$n’t wholly devoid of value!
“People don’t understand the word ruthless. They think it means ‘mean.’ It’s not about being mean. It’s about seeing the bright, clear line that leads from A to B. The line that goes from motive to means. Beginning to end. It’s about seeing that bright, clear line and not caring about anything but the beautiful fact that you can see the solution. Not caring about anything else but the perfection of it.”
– Marco, Book #30: The Reunion, pg. 71 (by K.A. Applegate)
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