Guy on TV show: Vikings weren’t a bunch of pretty boys.
Me: *remembers that Vikings bathed at least weekly if not more*
Me: *remembers that Vikings had intricate braids and were often buried with combs*
Me: *remembers that Vikings were known to get much attention from local ladies due to actually being clean and not smelly*
Me: are you /sure/ about that. are you sure.
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa.”
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.”
This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”
The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. “Okay” says the lawyer, “your turn.”
She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?” The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?” Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Yooooooooooo now THIS is the kind of blonde jokes I’m about
Not like women have been telling y’all this since the beginning of time or anything.
I mean, yeah, at one point three years ago I was curled up in a fetal position literally screaming/crying/gasping for breath on my bed in my dorm room, so my response to this headline is basically, “No shit.”
No wonder women are so likely to ignore heart disease/attack symptoms. If something isn’t as bad as my cramps, I figure it can’t be that bad.
THAT LAST COMMENT
!!!!!
No seriously. There aren’t enough people who understand how important that last comment is. I lost my right kidney four years ago because of “if something isn’t as bad as my cramps, I figure it can’t be that bad.”
My. Fucking. Kidney.
Don’t force people with periods to internalize and silence themselves when they have cramps!
Can confirm “can’t be that bad because period”. I had a kidney stone and it took me like 2-3 days to realize it wasn’t my period because it basically felt like that. Pain is normal for women (and other people with a uterus), it’s part of being a woman, and so we’re much less likely to know when the pain we’re having is bad because we deal with so much of it some much more often than men do. Pain is not always a “something is wrong” indicator for us.
jesus. I never thought of it that way.
Every woman rebloging this
LISTEN
YOUR PERIOD IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THAT PAINFUL.
IF YOU ARE 18 OR OLDER AND IN THAT MUCH PAIN DURING YOUR PERIOD, SOMETHING IS MEDICALLY WRONG.
Period cramps are uncomfortable, but that’s it. They should not be more than mild pain. If you are in severe pain, you need to see a doctor, because something is wrong. Me, I have endometriosis- which can be diagnosed without a pelvic exam, by the way, just an ultrasound. There’s a ton of other things that it can be, as well. You can get treatment for problems, you can get painkillers, and you can get medications to stop your period.
That’s right, YOU CAN STOP YOUR PERIOD. There are different birth controls you can take to entirely stop your period. If you don’t want to have a baby right now, you can take one of those. No more cramps! I’m on a progesterone-only medication, estrogen didn’t agree with me, and it works perfectly. No side effects, and, if I take it on time every day, I get no periods. Maybe some mild tenderness now and then or a couple days of light bleeding, but that’s it, and usually not even for that. And, if I take the meds late and I do get my period, it’s way milder than usual and I have prescription painkillers to handle the cramps.
What gets me is that initial pause. The bird knows this song. He knows when the drum comes in. Being able to anticipate musical rhythm is a form of intelligence very few species have, and this is the most remarkable example of it I’ve ever seen in a bird. The cockatoo knew to wait for the drums.
Oh. Well he wasn’t so sure about her being alright, people who collapse on the ground generally aren’t. However he really couldn’t refute her claim since he was far from knowledgeable on the subject, and he had a feeling he wouldn’t get very far if he tried. So instead he simply did as he was told and climbed back up on the berth.
“I think I’m okay? I mean, I don’t feel sick.” Crosscase said, but still came close so she could scan him anyways. He knew enough that you do what a medic tells you, because disobeying usually meant you check ups weren’t gonna be comfortable to say the least.
Scalpel leaned up to scan Crosscase, then curled back down onto her side and squinted as she surveyed the results. Which was odd for someone viewing something on her HUD, but it did seem to be working. “A’ight. Ain’t seein’ anything here… lemme check wi’ the other medics.”
.:Yo. Patches. Sendin’ you a scan. What’s this li’l cutie in for? Picked ‘im up by mistake, apparently:.
.:Oh, hi. Yeah- I saw you getting him out of the medbay, actually, but you looked so calm I didn’t think to stop you. Didn’t think it’d hurt anything, an’ you need the relaxation. That’s Crosscase, he’s in for chemical exposure to. No major symptoms, minor disorientation, just in for monitoring in case of an immune response. Seem fine to you?:.
.:Yep. What’m I doin’?:.
.:I’ll fill you in later, nothing too weird. You hurt your leg and we gave you painkillers for the nerve backlash, and you got all wacky like you usually do on pain meds. Just relax, I’m highly suggesting you do calming things instead of trying to get up. Or… if you gotta move around a bunch, do it without standing. Like- I don’t know, play with the cute flier, he’s not your patient ;):.
Scalpel blinked up at the ceiling, smirking, then turned her attention to Crosscase again. “Patches says you were in for observation- chemical exposure. Y’ seem okay now, though. How y’ feelin’?” she asked, moving around until her back was to the wall against the berth, and slowly looked Crosscase up and down. Heh. “He also suggested I have some fun with you in lieu of getting up and putting weight on my leg.” the femme muttered, looking vaguely sleepy now that the adrenaline was wearing off and she was remembering that she’d just woken up. “Bold li’l ball ‘a sass, but ‘e’s got a point.”
Crosscase’s plating fluffed up as his wings and audials shot up straight while his face flushed with embarrassment. He looked down at his hands clasped in his lap to avoid eye contact with Scalpel before speaking.
“C-chemical exposure sounds about right given how volatile the materials I was working with are. Guess I wasn’t as careful as I …” He stopped mid sentence and a look of dawning realization took over his face, “I didn’t write down the formula!” he nearly shouted.
He dropped his face into his hands and curled over until his head touched the berth. When he spoke the words were muffled against the blankets.
“I didn’t write down the formula, and I can’t remember anything about my experiment. I was so close to a breakthrough, and now it’s gone!” Crosscase muttered dejectedly, his field filled with despair and frustration.
Oh, that was cu- aww. Okay, no, too early in the morning for that much darkness. Scalpel contemplated Crosscase for a moment, then grabbed her blanket and pulled it up, tossing the edge so that it landed over him. Muttering “none o’ that, come here,” she hooked an arm around him and pulled him close, curling onto her side and around the upset mech.
No panic response- good. She took a moment to think, holding Crosscase just tightly enough to keep him there, then firmly patted his back and spoke as clearly as she could with the blanket still where it had fallen entirely over her. “Hush- ‘s too early for that. Look- here’s what yer gonna do. You relax, we get some fuel, then you go back and lookit what you were doin’. At th’ very least, there’ll be stuff left over, maybe notes or somethin’. An’ that’ll help you ‘member. But freakin’ out ain’t gonna help- settle, cutie.”
Ice-blue optics gleaming brightly in the darkness under the imprompteu blanket fort, Scalpel stroked Crosscase’s back with the servo not attached to the arm containing him, idly going over her awakening systems report- a rare luxury for medics to do while still in berth. Twist damage to her leg joints, nothing major, already repaired but still settling in, and steadily lowering levels of the common painkiller that did not make her paranoid. Good, they’d made a note to not use that other one. Otherwise, all systems normal… aside from a mild increase in core temp and in fan speed, which was made more obvious by the confined space. Hm. ”Guess my frame liked the company.” she muttered, not quite meaning to say it out loud, then glanced up and loosened her grip. Might not be best to trap the little flier, even if he seemed to have no objections to her proximity.
Crosscase was pulled from his lamenting by an arm pulling him down onto the berth and a body wrapping around him. The sudden closeness had his audials tilting down in embarrassment and his face going red, again. It just seemed like that’s how today was going to go. It was surprisingly warm under the blanket, held to Scalpel’s front with her arm around his back, but pleasantly so. The hand patting his back also helped.
“I suppose so.” Crosscase conceded. Hopefully there would be enough information to recreate his experiment, if not he was going to be way behind schedule. He really didn’t want to report to Kindlestrike empty handed, again. His funding was already dangling by a thread as it was.
Caught up in his own thoughts as he was Crosscase almost missed Scalpel’s mutterings.
“Oh, um, I’m glad I didn’t ruin your morning I suppose.”He said in an awkward manner, clearly not expecting to hear that. Would explain the extra warmth under the blanket though.
There- much better. Scalpel gave a quiet purring sound, pleased by the smaller mech relaxing, and made no effort to move away. He seemed- embarrassed, maybe, but reasonably calm, certainly not trying to avoid her. Which was good, she /was/ a bit larger than him. Probably weighed more than him, too.
And, hm, he was cute. Awkward, but definitely something like her type. Optics focused on Crosscase, Scalpel openly looked him over for a moment, then purred a bit louder to the pretty mech who’d ended up in her berth. “Tell ya what, Crosscase. I have an offer for you, and if you aren’t interested, I won’t offer again. But… you are cute, and we are both in the same berth. You wanna do somethin’ to help you relax a bit further, hm?” she asked quietly, sliding the servo on his back up high enough to rub gently at the base of one wing. Not a place that would usually be an erogenous zone, but definitely more sensitive, enough to make her suggestion clear.
Aware that she was strong enough to pin Crosscase, Scalpel was careful not to put any weight against his frame or do anything to hold him still, giving him plenty of room to move away if he wanted. “No pressure, I get it if y’ aren’t interested. If not- we get some energon, maybe talk a bit, an’ that’s it.”
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