Very important discovery; you can’t see the beanies but you can feel them.
FUZZY Join Irene, the modern day seer helping big corporations with their business predictions, and Fuzzy, the solid black demonic figure lurking in Irene’s working place at her temple. Bring yogurt with you!
I’m not kidding people die of dehydration more than anything else I’m talking 2 liters minimum.
snacks
first-aid and survival kit including after-bite, splint supplies and emergency signalling devices, and a thermal blanket. I am absolutely not kidding people get lost a mile from the road and die of exposure.
Map, your phone won’t work more than a mile from city limits.
change of socks.
something iron.
an offering or three. you might not need any, you might need all of them.
Etiquette:
Always close any gate you open. Even if the fence around it is gone. Both from a spiritual perspective and becuase there’s a nonzero chance the farm isn’t abandoned and the livestock is lurking in the scrub.
Cattle will stare at you. As long as they’re on the other side of the fence or river or ditch it’s fine. If there’s no barrier you need to leave. Range cattle fight coyotes and cougar and the worst of winter and don’t give a single fuck about you.
That’s not lore Range Cattle will fucking kill you.
Never approach any horse, but especially the ones without humans. They’re either fae or feral and the odds of them eating your hands are about the same.
Drink your water.
There are Others in Colorado, but the relationship is not nearly so adversarial out here. They’re like your neighbors but only sometimes corporeal. Mind your manners and obey any posted signage and you’ll be fine.
posted signage includes trees fallen across paths or washed-out sections of trail (trail closed), bits of dead animal on stumps or fence posts (occupied, fuck off) and the smell of urine (Mountain lion or bear turn right the fuck around)
Don’t eat anything you find there unless you brought a permit for it with you. Anyone who says you can forage on public land is a liar and going to get their ass poisoned or cursed.
If you did bring a permit, leave an offering anyway. The Law of Man is not the same as The Law of Mountains and you need to pay taxes in both.
Salute magpies, and any bird larger than them.
Everyone going uphill yields going to everyone going downhill, regardless of whether or not they’re human or real.
If you’re over 7000 feet and you seem to have picked up another member to your party, it’s just the mountain wondering what’s happening. It’s like bird watching for them. Be polite, pick up your trash and call the mountain whatever name it gives you.
Drink your fucking water.
If you feel like you’re being followed, especially at dusk, you absolutely turn around and tell whatever’s behind you you know they’re there. This is becuase it’s almost certainly coyotes and they need to be told to fuck off. If you can see what’s following you, face it and walk calmly backwards towards civilization until it goes away or you’re back in your car. If you can’t see what it is, tell it you’re headed home now, then you can turn back around and proceed calmly back from whence you came.
Do not, under any circumstances, run.
things that run are meant to be chased and everything up here is faster than you are.
also you’ll fall off a fucking cliff.
If you get back to the car or edge of the wild space and still feel like you’re being followed, check your shoes, pockets and any baggage for extras and leave them. If you’re STILL being followed, they’re being rude and you’re allowed to chuck a rock at them.
I’m not kidding about the water.
Don’t go into any “abandoned” buildings because 1. there’s a nonzero chance the building isn’t actually abandoned and then you have to explain to the rancher what the fuck you’re doing on their land 2. if it is abandoned it’s probably structurally unstable 3. the only things inside are rattlesnakes and tetanus.
Exception to above: if you hear thunder, you’re close enough to be struck. you can step inside then, but do not touch anything, especially the building it’self.
You are encouraged to walk out to abandoned tractors and plowshares and touch them. Don’t move them but stop to say hi and have some water.
If you find human remains, don’t panic. If they’re out there, they wanted to be found. Write down (you won’t be able to remember later, trust me) where you found them and inform the park service/police as soon as possible.
Durango! Don’t move here though, the town’s a municipal mess and it’s probably going to be on fire for most of 2018. Bearmageddon shoudn’t be as bad in ‘18 though. You can get simmilar results in most of the western half of the state though.
All these positive posts on like “start your 2018 off right!” are nice and all but,, it’s also okay if ur 2018 doesn’t start off great. It’s okay if you’re sick in bed and grieving and haven’t showered in a week. You’ve got a whole year ahead of you to improve yourself and your life like,, it’s not a race. You’re allowed to take your time with healing and moving forward. I haven’t slept well in days so this might be unintelligible but hdbbwnaj I thought someone should make this post even if no one will see it. Good luck with ya new year people
Also a lot of the Clone Wars TV series, with a spattering of “AHSOKA NO”.
Alright, this is the Jebediah + Pyramid Head story below. It’s in chat format because I was talking to @crowoflight about it and I’ve just copy/pasted that whole conversation rather than typing it up again. Eventually becomes NSFW, but not until the bolded line.
I have a guy named Jebediah. He
fits loosely into Marvel-type universes. Very tall, 7+ft, and far more slender
than humans are. Dark skin kind of charcoal-colored, golden eyes, and no hair
anywhere. It’s questionable whether he’s a mammal.
There’s a line down his chest,
and similar, smaller marks on his palms, which spread open to let out a set of
what are essentially tentacles. They’re his palm and chest muscles, which can
either fasten to his bones like they’re supposed to or slip out and function as
tentacles, and the inside of the cavity is lined with a thick membrane to
protect it when it’s opened.
He’s very calm, usually. Nice
suits, soft tone, relaxed. Comes with a psychosomatic limp, though. It’s mild
most of the time, but worsens under stress.
His cheek+jaw skin also stretches
really far, the corners of his lips unravel slightly, and he has some sharp
teeth further back in his mouth.
He’s a gentleman, very polite,
entirely safe to be around, but he can be incredibly creepy if he tries.
Just kinda leans over someone,
lets these red third eyelids slip over his eyes, and slooowly opens his mouth
alarmingly far to show off all those teeth.
So I’m picturing some sort of
general “somebody’s messing with reality slightly” situation where
what amounts to Silent Hill on a miniaturized version kinda works itself into
reality. It’s not quiiite accurate, but the gist is there.
Like, this little corner of a
city abruptly turns into a horror game, complete with monsters.
Very glad he’s polite, otherwise
I’d hide under my desk and never come out. His facial weirdness I can deal
with. Those muscle tentacles, especially with bone tips, would have me
screaming for the hills.
People who wander in are usually
never heard from again. Once or twice, someone comes back, shaken and reporting
that something dragged them to the edge and threw them out.
(fortunately, he keeps the
tentacles hidden. Not least because they /are/ attached to his ribcage, he can
only breathe shallowly with them extended and prefers not to use them for long)
Jebediah, being outwardly a
largely-human mutant, is generally OK in public. He looks a bit weird, but he’s
well-dressed, polite, and has largely friendly body language.
For this particular situation, he
gets unlucky and encounters a gang who object strongly enough to his appearance
that he decides the best response is a speedy retreat-
right into what looks like a
conveniently abandoned building.
Comes out on the other side and
is immediately attacked by a Mannequin.
Fortunately for him, his cane is
a sword cane, and he’s very agile.
Next up: far too long spent
looking fairly alarmed and attempting to find his way out of /the literal
manifestation of a horror game/.
What kind of creatures inhabit
this not-Silent Hill place? How concerned does he have to be for his safety in
a place like that with his kind of abilities?
They’re aggressive enough to go
after him. About the only thing keeping him in one piece is a combination of
agility and the /reach/ of his arm plus the sword cane.
That psychosomatic limp gets
worse and worse as things go on, though. It’s centered in his hip, mostly, and
gets worse with stress. Eventually locks up the joint almost entirely, to the
point where he needs the cane for outright support.
Goes from exploring and taking
down whatever he encounters to retreating as much as possible, just trying to
hide, trying not to /die/.
Pretty much. He’s very agile as a
virtue of his build, but not much beyond what humans can do. He’s also very
good at self-camo, backing up into shadows and breaking up his form by crossing
his arms across himself, but that works only because humans are less likely to
register strange shapes as ‘oh, that’s a person’.
He’s not the strongest, either,
and only a bit more durable than the average human. Being slammed into a wall
is bad.
Which means he’s dazed, barely
able to focus his eyes on anything, with one leg locked up so badly he’d be
better off with one of those thigh-to-ankle casts.
And /that/ is when Pyramid Head
finds him. Backed into a corner, jaws spread open, hissing as fiercely as he
can in an effort to be more or less intimidating as his only hope at defense.
Fortunately for him, this is a
slightly different iteration of Pyramid Head than in the video games. This
particular being is definitely a protector more than anything else- a violent
one, yes, but more like a vigilante prone to especially messy kills than
anything else.
And one who is very intrigued by
this new being.
Turns out /this/ is who’s been
throwing out the humans who turn up. Well- some of them. PH can smell intent,
can smell someone’s character, and has been personally killing the nasty people
who turn up. Innocent folks, if he can get to them before the monsters do, he
puts back outside.
He’d almost dismiss Jeb as a
weird human if not for the /tentacles/.
Jeb, of course, does not approve
of being picked up by whatever the Hell this is, and fights -literally- tooth
and nail with every bit of energy that he has until he’s unceremoniously
dropped into someone’s bed.
Which is not at all helped when
someone considerably larger than him decides that the best way to make him sit
still for a brief visual once-over is to straddle his hips/midsection and hold
onto his wrists.
Beings who’ve only recently been
willed into existence, even when they came premade with a grasp of certain
concepts, tend to not realize what might be /terrifying/.
*continues with the gentle
bopping* PH ya really need to get some social skills and quick. Probably the
only reason PH gets a chance to explain is because Jeb’s so exhausted?
PH going “okay, heck, this
is a regular flesh being, they bleed, I should check if anywhere is bleeding
very much” and trying to be gentle about it, purring a weird rusty noise
and pulling off his gloves because he dimly realizes something about
cleanliness being important around injuries.
Can’t blame Jeb in that
situation, not many people wouldn’t be panicking at the moment. First time PH
had to sooth someone? Guessing that he usually just grabs the humans and
probably literally just tosses them out of the city.
Exactly. The first human he tried
to help freaked out so badly they ran straight into a monster, so he decided
that sneaking up behind them, grabbing them, hauling them to the edge, and
literally throwing them out was the safest option.
He’s got an odd understanding of
things, being pretty much literally newborn. There’s a dim understanding of
certain topics, a strong understanding of right vs wrong, and some vague
shadows of other things, but nothing more than the dimmest idea of what might
be comforting.
Really, the only reason Jeb
doesn’t /stab/ him is a decision to just hold still and try not to upset
whatever this is.
It’s not a fun situation for
awhile, Jeb trying very hard to /not/ upset PH and PH trying to figure out how
to convey “hello i am not going to hurt you”.
Bit of a stand off really. How’s
it work out? Jeb stays still from panic and exhaustion. And PH like what, tries
to communicate without stressing Jeb out further?
The thing that finally gets the
message across is when PH finally stops, very deliberately tucks several
blankets around Jeb, and resumes attempting to tie a bandage around most of his
forearm.
That’s when it clicks that all
the touches are careful, focused around his injuries, as gentle as this large,
powerful being (who is unused to anything but violence) can manage.
Massive, massive relief.
Jeb kinda just melts.
Mutters something about
“easily the most alarming introduction I’ve ever had”.
PH, meanwhile, takes the clear
relaxation as a signal that it’s OK for him to be curious now. Mostly via
stroking gently along the line in Jeb’s chest, trying to figure out what that
is, and making a very interested noise when the tentacles instinctively curl
against his hand.
This isn’t a malevolent being,
this is a young being with a strong idea of an inherently violent purpose, and
he is /curious/.
PH is, once again, a bit confused
as to what’s going on when he notices the new scent.
But the relief has Jeb melty and
near-giddy enough to be especially bold, to coax a very hesitant PH back up to
straddle him again for a /much/ more positive reaction.
Not least out of curiosity. PH
looks like a human in a mask, but he’s a bit too large for that, and his nails
are thick and claw-like. And once the apron comes off, the (heavily scarred
already) skin and muscle underneath doesn’t shift quite right, and he smells…
off. Not /bad/, not if you’re Jeb and used to not-quite-human partners, but
odd.
There’s kind of a gap in the
helmet that he can see through, and there’s a long black tongue back there that
he can slip out to taste if he gets curious.
PH is gonna get quite the spur of
the moment education here. Guessing this’ll be his first time with a partner?
Maybe he’s done some solo things but not much more? Can his mask come off or is
it also a part of him?
Jeb’s not too keen on full-on
sex, not until he’s sure about the chemical composition of PH’s slick and
assorted other fluids, but he’s willing to explain how things work and he is
/absolutely/ up for some grinding.
Those delicate tendrils in his
hands can be put to some very interesting uses with a partner who isn’t
concerned about them.
PH is at least slightly confused
the entire time, but more than up for this.
Yeah, probably safer until PH
learns more things too and how things work and like limitations and stuff like
that. And there’s plenty of things that one can do without full
penetration/fluid exchange.
PH has a very vague idea of what
sex is, most of his understanding comes from a comprehension of what rape is
(necessary for his vigilante purpose), but he very quickly figures out that it
is /fun/.
The day after, once Jeb’s had a
nice long nap and is feeling good enough to walk, /and/ now that he has a
protector to keep the beasties away, PH follows him out of the city to be sure
he gets home OK.
Which turns out to be fortunate,
because the city fizzles out shortly after he leaves, the area returning to
normal. Everything in it vanishes, but PH is outside and stays around.
So, the answer to why someone
Skypeing Jeb saw PH naked in the background?
Jeb insisted on putting his
outfit in the washing machine, and PH wandered out into the kitchen after a
shower to find out what all the smells were.
Also, oddly; water poured through
the gap in his helmet leaks out the bottom, but a hand slid up under the helmet
eventually encounters what feels like solid resistance made of the same
substance.
He can eat, too. A jagged portion
of the helmet opens up slightly, just below the gap he sees out of, and he can
either put stuff inside or sneak his tongue out to wrap it up and pull it in.
Jebediah later introduces PH to
Patches, not least because Patches has an ultrasound machine and can let them
take a look at what the heck is going on with his anatomy.
There’s /some/ kind of jaw
structure up under the helmet, almost like a fish jaw, but that’s all they can
see in there with the machine.
Patches is remarkably unfazed,
mostly because Jeb locates a large, fluffy, pink jacket to put on PH for the
introduction. Helps with the first impressions.
Can have all kinds of fun in the
shower too. So PH has got some sort of physics defying masks going on then. And
that mental image of PH in a big fluffy jacket is quite amusing. PH probably
likes the fluff, yeah?
The city wasn’t good for PH,
either. He was relatively safe thanks to significant regenerative abilities and
his comparatively massive size and strength, plus an actual weapon, but he’s
still covered in scars.
Jeb gonna enjoy showing soft
things to PH? Have the thought that house chores would be enjoyable by PH, like
he can make his living area nice and tidy and it’ll stay that way. And oh gosh
and honest to goodness /bed/ with tons of blankets and pillows.
He’s been living in his own
personal survival/horror game, and he’s not outright traumatized, but it takes
him a long time to stop expecting things to jump out at him.
And Jeb is cautious about
introducing PH to his dog.
Jeb has a /very/ pretty dog.
Unidentified combo of mutt, very
lanky, almost like a borzoi but a bit more stately, very short, dark, almost
bronze fur.
Oh, PH is gonna be very intrigued
by the whole idea of sex toys.
…and, okay, hm
Jeb has a /very/ tasty image
there.
PH stretched out on his front,
hips propped up, /whining/ softly and kneading his hands on the mattress as Jeb
plays with the controls of a little bullet vibe.
Looking over his shoulder with
one arm up to almost-cover his face/eye, growling quietly as he watches Jeb
slowly spread him open, initially twitching away and then slowly leaning back
against him.
Of course the big beast of a
monster it a flustered bottom, gotta take care of him somehow. PH makes the
right noises long enough and he could probably make Jeb come in his pants,
yeah? And wow is sounding going to ever be an experience for PH.
PH learning ASL, and utterly
failing at it when aroused enough.
…ooh
Jeb could just
I mean this might require a towel
or something as padding, but
could just straddle/ride PH’s
face and enjoy all that purring up close and personal, play with the controls
to a remote toy, praise him and reward him for being /good/.
Jeb teaching PH how to spread him
open, nice and slowly, so he can try and take that /very/ interesting cock.
Delighted, if slightly unearthly,
crooning at /that/.
Does anyone wanna hear about the circumstances leading up to someone asking one of my OCs “why is Pyramid Head naked in your kitchen?” and not at all exaggerating the situation?
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