It is an unspoken rule that if a little kid is hiding under a blanket or couch cushions, you are required to comment on how lumpy the blanket is and pretend to sit on it to try and “smooth it out.”
Also, if you’re playing hide-and-seek with them, it is critical that you search every other possible (and impossible) hiding spot, all the while wondering out loud how they managed to disappear just like magic, before walking right past their hiding spot.
And if a baby starts playing peekaboo you are required to act surprised when they show their face again
If a kid hands you a phone, you answer it
If a kid shoots you with a Nerf Gun you are supposed to Die a dramatic death and explain “ugh you shot me blaahh”
when you push a kid on the swings ya gotta do the woosh
I literally just blocked about a dozen people on this post for being cranky about children.
Being a joyless shitbeast to kids isn’t cool. They’re kids. If you want to be Oscar the Grouch, that’s fine, but do it in a way they understand and explain it to them.
“I don’t want to play, I’m grumpy. Thank you, though, that was kind.”
It’s literally not hard. Kids are small people. Treat them with common fucking decency.
@my underage followers do not date anyone over 18. like it’s different if you’re 17 and they’re barely 18 and you’ll both be 18 soon (given that you’ve been dating for a while of course)
but like example if you’re 15 and your partner just turned 18 like… that’s a big age difference. it’s just 3 years but the difference in maturity is HUGE. like i myself as a 15 y/o was nations away from where I am now as an 18 y/o
never let anyone tell you “love has no age”, and never bend to threats. your comfort zone matters and you deserve someone your own age. question why an 18+ year old would want to date a minor
Shockwave’s latest experimental implants were still settling, the durasteel pinging as it shifted. An assortment of scavenged metal hunks and fibers was spread alongside him, and he sourly picked through the meager scraps. He wasn’t supposed to ingest anything for several more hours, but his tanks pinged insistently, low fuel warning warnings flashing as the integrations ate up his reserves.
Even small movements hurt, the coils of serrated blading scraping harshly against the floor. Yaatree tried to still, but his patience was wearing thin. Shockwave would know if he left the room, he always did… but he hadn’t forbidden Yaatree from exploring, only from disturbing the implants.
Yaatree flinched inwardly, remembering how his fussing had inadvertently pulled out some delicate circuitry, and the many welds he’d had to replace it. But really, who would put that many optical sensors on a driller? Yaatree was hardly a stealthy mecha, totally unsuited for surveillance.
If Shockwave wanted to court Soundwave, Yaatree was a poor choice. Even if he was not much bigger than the typical Autobot now, (and therefore the perfect size and age to ping Soundwave’s carrier instincts) he would grow, quickly.
Yaatree was hardly one for cuddling, anyways, despite what Shockwave insisted to himself when he thought he was alone in the lab.
Peering around the doorway, Yaatree slithered through the cross-corridor and into a smaller lab room he hadn’t been in before. He squirmed under a table, and plucked open a cabinet to rifle through the contents.
Yaatree froze, suddenly aware he wasn’t alone.
Yaatree turned slowly, blenders chirring as his blades spun uneasily. Faint red optics peered up over the edge of the table.
Spinflask was not having a good day.
He’d just wanted a bit of privacy. Duo were lovely, but they were… they were a lot. Energetic, to say the least. He’d wanted some time alone, and had apparently picked entirely the wrong spot for it. Namely, a spot Shockwave frequented.
And Shockwave was strong enough that, even with Spinflask’s adrenaline spiking enough to have him trying to drive claws through the other’s plating, he could grab Spinflask by the scruff and hold him easily in one servo. All of Spinflask’s adrenaline had only gotten him deemed “interesting” and strapped to a table with a crown of sensors on until he wore himself out.
Once he’d woken up, he’d found himself on top of a table entirely suited for his alt mode, fastened to the table by a leash around his ankle. There was an IV dripping energon into his systems, another cube nearby, and a short list of tasks and supplies in front of him. It was probably not wise to upset his captor, so he did as was implied-slash-ordered, loading up his internal rack and spinning everything as was specified.
He could do this. It wasn’t exactly fun, working for an unknown purpose, but he could do it. Wasn’t difficult or particularly distressing. He could just… do this. Hopefully Duo would come to rescue him, but… that wasn’t really a reasonable expectation, was it? He… probably wasn’t worth the trouble of getting into Shockwave’s lab, after all, even if they knew where he was. Which they didn’t.
So… he could work with this. Could be worse, after all.
And then a thing came into the room, and it was worse. Spinflask hunched himself into the smallest ball possible on top of the table, optics nervously locked on… whatever that was, and waited to see if it would leave.
It did not leave.
It noticed him.
Slag.
Not knowing what else to do, Spinflask offered the thing a tiny wave, then tucked his servos up with the rest of himself and tried to look uninteresting. And not edible.
Yaatree slid closer, caution fading to curiosity as he saw Spinflask’s restraints.
Whirring, he pulled himself closer, blades biting chunks out of the table as he hauled himself up. One cable bumped curiously at the IV line, inner sawblades kneading together as another fuel alert pinged on his HUD.
Weaving his torso around Spinkflask, Yaatree twitched with hunger when he saw the energon cube. It was just… sitting there. So easily within reach.
But Shockwave would know. Shockwave always knew.
Hissing, Yaatree drew back and studied the mech strapped down. A petty urge to smack the notepad onto the floor surged inside him, to shred the notes and shatter carefully arranged vials where this one would not be able to reach, to fix and continue his task.
Instead, Yaatree withdrew to the other end of the table, coiling in on himself. Destructive driller coding urges aside, Yaatree well remembered Shockwave’s cold displeasure at his tantrums, and the inevitable punishments. How that precise, calculating mech would enjoy what he put Yaatree through, even though he rarely vocalised it.
It was a learning process, and a harsh one. Everything was a test, and failure… failure was unacceptable.
Loopholes can be found… or made.
Optics muted to a hazy maroon glow, Yaatree stretched a cable out and chewed through one strap, eating each link with a lazy, smug satisfaction.
He wasn’t really eating it, that was still against the rules. Shockwave’s bizare obsession that he be handtrained as part of the appeal for Soundwave ensured that he knew he would not eat except from his hand.
No, the chain would never end up in his tanks. Such a small amount of foreign metal would be ground up and implemented in his cables long before it came anywhere near his processing plant.
In the meantime, the new mech might turn out to be a fun playmate. Or at least have some information from outside the labs. His EM field radiating curiosity, Yaatree waved the cable mouth in front of Spinflask’s face before withdrawing again.
Alarming as it had been to be scooped up by Shockwave, his unceremonious method of capture turned out to be helpful to Spinflask in that moment. He’d spent all his energy and all his adrenaline on trying to escape, which meant that, instead of his new-normal hyperaggressive response, his reaction to the attention was just a quiet whine in the back of his throat. Fortunate, since trying to murder the whatever-this-was would probably have resulted in it tearing him apart with no effort whatsoever.
Instead, Spinflask managed to stay still and almost silent, even as it curled around him. His frame shook, his engine made a quiet shiver-rattling noise, and his vents cycled hard enough that something clicked rather loudly, but he didn’t move, and he bit back the whine of terror that wanted to escape. This creature didn’t seem aggressive, but it looked predatory, and it could probably smell fear. Which Spinflask couldn’t do much about.
But… it had chewed through one chain, and, at least for the moment, it didn’t seem to be… doing anything. Spinflask hunched into himself, looking down at the remaining strap, then lifted his helm to eye the nearby security camera. The straps around his ankles, though they didn’t stop him from transforming, were clearly meant to keep him here. But he didn’t like them, and… surely Shockwave couldn’t object to him removing the straps but remaining on the table? He didn’t intend to run away, he just… didn’t like the restraints.
So, hesitantly, Spinflask lifted the remaining strap and offered it to the creature. “…come on, then. Here… creature, creature. Whatever you are. Come. You… may as well… chew through this one as well, yes?”
Chew on whatever you want other than me. as long as it isn’t me. I cannot reasonably be expected to defend anything against you, and Shockwave, whatever else he may be, is a logical enough mech to realize that. I hope.
Yaatree wound his way closer to curl over the strapping. Annoying as he was being treated as non-sentient and incapable of speaking, he had grown used to it.
Yaatree stretched to his full length, trying to appear as self-assured and distantly interested as Soundwave.
With a lightning quick slash, Yaatree unlatched him, cables rearing back in an unconscious display.
He meant to demand Spinflask entertain him, but what came out was a hoarse, “Why are you here?”
Yaatree glanced up at the camera, then looked away, suddenly shy. Blades shunked and reordered themself in a flustered embarrassment.
It -they- could talk.
Well then.
Spine straightening considerably, Spinflask looked the being over more closely, trying to figure out what in the Pit this was. It looked something like a Driller, or at least like the images of Drillers he’d half-glanced at in the past, but those… didn’t talk.
Right?
Goodness.
Servos clenching nervously on his plating, Spinflask rebooted his vocalizer to chase the last scraps of terrified noises out of it, hoping to speak coherently. It worked. Mostly. His voice was still a bit higher-pitched than normal.
“I-I looked useful, evidently, and did not manage to escape being carried back. And now I am-” a glance at the camera “-not attempting to escape, because I am not equipped to escape, so I am staying here and behaving myself.”
And he was. That was his plan- just behave himself. It wasn’t like he could escape. Better to just avoid upsetting his captor. He’d probably be treated better that way.
Right?
“Oh yes, I can see why Shockwave would snatch you up. Anything to improve efficiency.“ Yaatree laughed bitterly, the harsh hissing startlingly loud.
“Not much point in trying, anyway. Shockwave is the only one who knows the way in this purple maze.” Yaatree stared defiantly at the camera now, optics glittering with rage.
“Shockwave knows…” He continued softly. “But Soundwave is the eyes and ears.. and he is always watching.”
Yaatree straightened, flicked his cables dismissively to hide his nervousness. Slipping off the edge of the table with a thump, he resumed rummaging through the cupboards, studying each item. Odd, incongruous objects were tossed over his torso to the floor behind him, others realigned in neat rows.
Yaatree muttered about jury-rigging cleaning drones and idly tossed one cube of something green at Spinflask.
Yanking a chair between the shelving and table, Yaatree slumped halfway against the back to keep and eye on Spinflask while he sorted through his findings.
Muttering something like “I am useful”, Spinflask watched the driller-creature for a few moments longer, twitching when the cube was tossed at him. Shocking absolutely no one, he did not catch the cube. Nor did he even try- his armor could shrug off whatever was in it, probably, and he couldn’t catch thrown items. Falling? Maybe. Thrown? No.
With nothing else to do, Spinflask organized his tasks a bit better, sorting out the products of his work and arranging them pleasingly. He’d finished it all, though, so that couldn’t occupy him for long. Which left him with nothing to do but watch Yaatree, be curious, and…
And, finally, murmur “may I inquire as to what you are?” in the most polite tone he could manage. That was… hopefully how to not upset the… loud, potentially dangerous thing. But, Pit- Spinflask wanted to know. What in the name of science was this? Another of Shockwave’s notorious experiments?
Hopefully not something that was angry at him.
Yaatree snorted, dropping what he was holding to give Spinflask his full attention.
“Shockwave’s labs, Pit of Cybertron, far as I can tell. Haven’t yet gotten outside, though Shockwave keeps telling me when I get pretty enough he’s gonna present me to Soundwave.”
Yaatree shivered and nosed disinterestly at the spilled green fluid spreading across the table. Another cable slid up and began to tug at Spinflasks’ loose restraints.
“Driller, of a sort. Shockwave’s trying to figure out a way to keep me miniturized, something about being small enough for infiltration in unsteady cities. That, and ‘dock-sized for convieniant training. Yaatree, for all the good a name does me.”
Not appreciating the attention but not daring to pull away, Spinflask nervously eyed the cable next to his ankle, putting only a token bit of effort into resisting the pull. He didn’t dare fight any further and risk upsetting whatever this creature was. Hopefully it would remain idly curious.
Oh- an introduction. Muttering “Spinflask”, he gave a tiny, tiny wave in return, then wraps his arms around himself for the scraps of comfort it gives him. He’s cold, he’s afraid, and he doesn’t dare to move to fix either problem. The most he can do is distract himself.
And this is… hm. Interesting. And not the most sensible thing. “Odd. Why… why not pick a creature that stays small in the first place? And- are drillers usually sapient? I have… never encountered one. Before now.”
Yaatree stretched on the chair, uncurling to inspect where a few of his smaller scales had been scuffed.
“Prove he could? Trying to court Soundwave, wants to show off the only way he knows how.” Yaatree’s blades whirred as he resettled himself, lost in thought.
“And yeah, we’ are. Your legends of us came about for a reason. Uusally hiding down in the core, but with all the racket from rebuilding, came up for easier fuel. It’s how Shockwave found us in the first place.”
“Captured one a while back, harvested and been raising me.” Something shrieked in protest as Yaatree shrugged one coil over the top of his chair.
He glanced towards the doorway, plating flared, but it remained quiet.
Well. He’d never heard of drillers being sapient, but… probably not the biggest surprise. No one ever really studied how sapient various animals were, it was generally preferred to just… assume that they weren’t. Place them even lower than disposable-class mechs. Do whatever you wanted with them.
Like this.
Though, from what he’d heard, Shockwave wouldn’t have cared either way. Spinflask sat for a moment, not sure what to do, then shrugged and settled on “continue to ask”. For one thing, the floor looked- hm.
Leaning over the edge, Spinflask regarded the floor for a moment, then turned his attention to Yaatree again. The mech didn’t seem aggressive, at least. “Could you not… drill through the floor? Or… do you have an implanted tracker to prevent escape? You look… ideal for escaping most areas, really. I assume there are reasons why no one ever seems to keep drillers captive. Size chief among them, I suppose.”
A moment more, then he offered Yaatree a rather apologetic look, hunching back into his place in the center of the table. “I apologize. I… am nervous. And I have nothing to do. So I am talking in lieu of listening to my own thoughts, as” curling in and tucking his arms over his helm “I do not like my thoughts right now.”
Yaatree rocked back, staring at Spinflask in complete surprise. He refocused on Spinflask after several moments, voice quiet.
“I… Well, it’d be a futile effort, for one thing. Yes, I’m chipped. Can’t go beyond so many floors without getting electrocuted. That old driller Shockwave caught wised him up to what works. Think he kept is here, not much room elsewhere anymore. And if he couldn’t get away…” Yaatree trailed off, gave the floor a serious consideration, then shook himself.
“No, even if I.. I’m running on fumes as it is. Shockwave brags about how the floors have been reinforced and rebuilt for millennium against Autobot attacks.” Yaatree looked at the door, smaller coils snicking quietly.
“Trying to wheedle Megatron to live here, cause where Megatron goes, Soundwave follows… With trouble never far behind.”
Whipping off the chair, Yaatree slammed two cables against the wall, which yelped guiltily.
Rumble peered around the corner, pouting. Frenzy dropped behind Yaatree and kicked him lightly. Yaatree rattled in distaste, swatting his leg in retaliation and scuffing both their paint in the process.
It seemed like they would start roughhousing any moment.
Of course. Had to be a reason the driller hadn’t escaped already. From what little he knew of drillers, they were near-eldritch beings who very much disliked being contained or restricted, it must take some serious measures to keep one from-
Oh no, the baby agents of chaos were here.
Rumble and Frenzy were well-known among Autobot scientists for violently sabotaging entire labs, and Spinflask curled even tighter into himself, hips clicking as he tucked himself down to shield most of his frame with his leg plating.
He almost wanted to transform outright and hide away, but he wouldn’t have been able to see properly like that, so he stayed out- had to watch what they were doing. Maybe they would ignore him in favor of the more interesting driller. Just- sit still, like this, don’t make noises, maybe it would keep them from being too interested in him. Treat them like predators and try not to be interesting.
It was hard not to be interesting, though, his plating was shivering enough to rattle and he couldn’t stop staring at them. Which looked… unfortunately frightened, wide blue optics bright and scared behind the lenses of his built-in protective goggles. He looked like a frightened little bundle of scientist, and he still had both cuffs around his ankles.
I am by absolutely no means an expert, and before you get any animal, it is advised that you do an adequate amount of research so that you can care for it properly. Please do not rely on only my sources to care for your animal, as you will need to do a bunch more research. To impulsively buy an animal without knowing anything about how to care for it is wrong and irresponsible on your part. What works for me may not work for you, and you will learn this through trial and error. (This is not my original image, credit to the original photographer also DONT PUT BEARDIES OF DIFFERENT SIZES TOGETHER, the bigger one will eat the small one and you will not have a good time)
Bearded Dragons
Bearded dragons are some of the most easily available pet lizards you can get. While they can be rather expensive while getting all the supplies and the actual animal, it is well worth it if you are looking for a personable animal that you can bond with very easily. Not only are they personable, but also easy to care for once you get the hang of it. They aren’t particularly needy and in my opinion, in the top 3 easiest to keep lizards you can find. These animals do require more than the regular leopard gecko, however they are pretty much tiny, scaly dogs.
Experience Level: Beginner
Origin: Australia
Temperament: Docile, usually very food driven.
Size: Around 2″ of hatching out of the egg, but can easily reach 20″-24″ as adults.
Expenses: Overall, you will spend anywhere from $300-$400 on everything (not counting monthly food). The initial bearded dragon cost will normally be on average $50-100, but can fluctuate depending on where you buy from, and what color morph. Please understand that it is very expensive to house any animal, and you should not buy an animal if you can not support it.
Heating/Lighting: Unlike other beginner lizards or snakes, bearded dragons require both UVB and UVA lighting. If UVB (essentially sunlight in a bulb) is not provided, your scaly friend can develop Metabolic Bone Disease (MBD). UVA comes with a regular day light basking bulb, and is essential to provide heat so that your bearded dragon can function properly and pass food. There shouldn’t be a need for a UTH or red/blue/night heat bulb, unless you are looking to heat up a very cold part in your Bearded Dragons enclosure, or at night in the winter, however it is best to have a wide range of temperatures within the enclosure and these heat sources should not be needed otherwise. PLEASE NOTE: Do not buy the “swirl” UVB bulbs for your bearded dragon, they are too bright and can burn your bearded dragon’s eyes. The strip bulbs from Repti-Sun is a very good brand.
Temperatures: As babies, bearded dragons should have a basking spot of around 92-95 degrees Fahrenheit, and the cool side of the enclosure at room temperature (68-74 degrees Fahrenheit). As sub-adults, you can increase this basking temperature to 100-102 degrees.
Humidity: Because bearded dragons are originally from the desert, they are not in need of any special humidity. Ideally, humidity should be around 30-35%, and just having a water bowl should meet these needs. If your humidity is too high, it can lead to an upper respiratory infection (URI). Stay away from glass or plastic lids to your enclosure, and be sure there is plenty of ventilation. (Often times, Beardies enjoy baths!)
Housing: Because of the size difference in baby to adult, there will be some required “upgrading” of tanks. If you put a baby in a 40 gal breeder, it will be less inclined to eat and bask and more likely to hide away. Because of this, as a baby you will be good with a 10 gallon, as a juvenile a 20-25 gallon, and as a sub-adult you can upgrade to their final needed size, a 40 gallon breeder (yes, you can go larger on an adult if you would like). If you happen to have a German Giant beardie, you will need somewhere around 60 gallons. Because bearded dragons will spend most of their time on the ground, it is important to find an enclosure that has more floor space than it does height. Males should never be kept with other males or other females, however under the right circumstances, female bearded dragons can be kept with females (NOT RECOMMENDED FOR BEGINNERS).
Substrate: Many people keep their bearded dragons on sand (calci-sand is just as bad), claiming they can just “bask it out”, however you are still putting your bearded dragon at risk for impaction (not being able to pass food, and getting sick and possibly dying). Bearded dragons use their tongues to get used to their surroundings, so even if you are not feeding on the loose particle substrate, they will still ingest it. Because of this, you should not keep your beardie on any sort of loose-particle substrate that is small enough for them to ingest (sand, calci/repti sand, moss, etc.). Ground coconut fibers is generally okay, but you are not in need of excess humidity, and it is hard to keep up with and messy. Your best options are paper towels, newspaper (the ink will make them dirty), tiles, or reptile carpet.
Diet: Bearded dragons are omnivores, meaning they need both vegetables and protein in their diet (meaning insects). There are a lot of safe and unsafe vegetables and fruit that bearded dragons can and can’t digest. As babies, they should have 35% veggies and 65% insects, and as they get older, around 40% insects and 60% veggies. The main intake of their vegetables should be dandelion greens, mustard greens, and cauliflower greens, however things such as romaine and iceberg lettuce have no nutritional value (good for getting babies to stay hydrated, though!). Bearded dragons also should get Calcium with D3 on their salads and on their insects. Staple insects include crickets, dubia roaches, phoenix worms, and superworms (only for sub-adult+!), treats include wax worms, butter worms, and horn worms (sub-adult+). Mealworms should never be fed to baby or juvenile bearded dragons because of the worm’s hard exoskeleton makes it hard to digest and can lead to impaction. Here is a list of safe and unsafe food: http://www.thebeardeddragon.org/bearded-dragon-diet.php
Common Illnesses: Please take your animal to the vet if you notice any of these things happening to your animal. Impaction is when your animal ingests small fibers or something and cannot digest it, so it may clog and get stuck in the lining of the intestines, which can lead to not pooping, bloody poops, lack of appetite, non-digested foods, and can lead to death. Metabolic Bone Disease is when your animal is not getting enough sun, vitamins, or calcium and it causes the bones to essentially turn into jello, the muscles spasm uncontrollably and you may notice a lack of movement, can be fatal if left untreated. Upper Respiratory infections are caused when there is too much humidity, smoke/residue in the air (do not burn candles or incense or spray anything in the air), or dust (from sand). This can lead to eye crusties, nose and mouth bubbles, mouth rot, and if left untreated, death. Blood Mites (VERY CONTAGIOUS) are also sometimes an issue, mites are sneaky little buttholes that hide under scales, in noses/ears, or vents (butts) of your animal, that if left untreated, can kill beardies. They are small black or brown dots that are caused by unclean bedding/enclosure, leftover food, other animals, etc. When you are buying from anyone, run your hand along the entire body in one swipe and check in all the spots they may be, before placing into the enclosure/buying if you can. Luckily, mites are easily treatable (as in you can go to the pet store to buy it), however difficult to get rid of. Parasites are an issue, and if you see lack of appetite, bloody stool, or lack of gaining weight, take them to the vet IMMEDIATELY with a stool sample that has been passed within the past 24 hours.
Unmentioned/Fun Facts:
Where to buy: (Please be sure to know how to tell the difference between a healthy and unhealthy animal before buying) When buying any “exotic” animal, it is best to stay away from mass producers such as PetSmart or PetCo. This is because the majority of the time, you are buying a sick or unhealthy animal and you never know the history of the parents. The employees are also told to essentially bullshit their way through the conversation, just to make a few extra sales (majority of employees are like that, not all, just 99.9%). The best places to get animals from are rescues, adoption agencies, or (the best option for beginners) BUY ONLINE FROM A BREEDER! Not only are you guaranteed the health and background of the animal, but you also get a better selection. Breeders to stay away from are Underground Reptiles, LLLReptiles, and Backwater Reptiles. Remember to do your research on the breeders themselves as well! I recommend Daichu Dragons, Fire and Ice Dragons, and Atomic Lizard Ranch.
Again, please be sure to do your research before you get any animal! Good sources are on YouTube and across the internet! Don’t be afraid to ask if you have any questions!
I’m not touching anything else in all of this, but Fire and Ice Dragons is a terrible breeder. She sells to minors and ships at unsafe temperatures (my personal experience, as well as many others- but she sold me a dragon when I was fourteen and didn’t talk to my parents, shipped him in a snowstorm- oh, and he wasn’t the color she’d said he’d be, which… I mean, I loved him to pieces, but on the other hand, she took like, 300 dollars from a minor and sent me an animal worth less than a third of that), misrepresents the animals she sells, and then there’s her Board of Inquiry post– seven years of shitty customer service and misleading animal care.
I’ll touch on some of this other stuff. There’s a lot here, so others feel free to address any misinformation I haven’t.
A 40 Gallon Breeder Is Fine For A Juvenile. It’s cheaper than starting at a 10 Gallon and going up, your baby will probably appreciate the room. It’s also difficult to appropriately mount a UV tube in a 10G, most use the T8 which needs to be 8” – 10” away from the lizard, a 10G is usually only 12” high so this wouldn’t allow for a proper basking spot. To my understanding, a T5 is also best mounted inside and needs to be 13” – 15” away. The basking temperatures suggested are also too low, basking temperatures should be at 105F – 110F. Another source I respect is BeardedDragon.org and cited 95F – 102F for adults.
4x2x2 Enclosures are increasingly becoming suggested as the minimum. A lot of places, and a lot of people, cite a 40G Breeder tank as the minimum for an adult but if you see a full grown dragon in one there’s not a lot of room. I won’t say using 40G is wrong, but I’m of the opinion that bigger is better.
Bearded Dragons cannot live together. It doesn’t matter what the dragons sex is, they are solitary by nature and housing them together offers no benefit to the animal. The only benefits, such as saving space, is to the owner and is selfish. You can have a pair, or more, together for years and then one day have a dead Beardie. That’s what happened to this dragon, warning for graphic images in the link. You can find hundreds more examples like this.
Bioactive and naturalistic enclosures are becomming increasingly popular, this means loose substrate. I think loose substrate can be done right, but this isn’t the same as throwing sand or calci-sand in and calling it a day. I generally advise solid substrate for beginners! Calci-sand is especially bad and, in my opinion, never appropriate. HerpCenter used to have a really good article on it but the site seems to be dead, but @followthebluebell did a good write up on the issues with it here. Kaijutegu, who I reblogged this from, did a good write up on why sand isn’t a ‘natural’ substrate for Bearded Dragons. If you’re interested in a bioactive or naturalistic enclosure do your research, here’s some writing on little discussed aspects of bioactive by @tser and the group Reptile and Amphibian Bioactive Setups on Facebook can be helpful.
Bearded Dragon Newbies on Facebook and BeardedDragon.org are good resources for newbies. For more advanced care Bearded Dragons Network is a good group on Facebook. I do not necessarily agree with everything said on each of these sources, but I do believe each have value and utilizing multiple resources is important when researching.
A lot of ‘humans are weird’ posts play with the idea that humans are one of the few species that actually evolved as a predator and, as such, we are unusually strong and fast— but what if we’re not.
What if we’re tiny?
What if, to the majority of species in the galaxy, ten feet tall is unusually short— it basically only happens due to rare genetic conditions— and the average human is basically cat sized or smaller?
Instead of being terrified by our strength, the aliens’ most pressing concern is how exactly they’re going to communicate with us when we’re all the way down on the ground.
There are experiments, with aliens crouching low or humans standing on high platforms— but it usually ends up being either uncomfortable for the alien or dangerous for the human, or both, and just generally impractical for everyone.
But, while the diplomats and politicians are trying to figure out a dignified and simple solution, the ordinary people who actually have to work with the aliens have found one. Humans are, generally, pretty good climbers, and most species have conveniently places scales, feathers, fur or clothing that can act as a hand or foothold. Sure, some humans have a fear of heights, but those aren’t typically the ones going into space. Besides, climbing on a living alien often feels safer than climbing up a rock or something— at least you know you’ve got somebody to catch you.
Soon it becomes accepted that that’s the way humans travel with aliens— up high, easy to see and hard to tread on (there were quite a few… near misses, in the first few meetings between humans and aliens), balanced on somebody’s shoulder like the overgrown monkeys that we are.
Many humans see this as kind of an insult and absolutely refuse to go along with it, but they aren’t the ones who end up spending a lot of time with aliens— it’s just too inconvenient to talk to somebody all the way down on the ground. The ones that do best are the ones who just treat it like it’s normal, allowing themselves to be carried (at least, it’s ‘carrying’ when the aliens are within earshot. Among themselves, most humans jokingly refer to it as ‘riding’), and passing on tips to their friends about the best ways to ride on different species without damaging feathers, or stepping on sensitive spots (or, in at least one case, ending up with a foot full of poisonous spines…).
The reason they don’t feel patronised by this is that they know, and they know that nearly everyone else in the galaxy knows, that humans are not just pets.
After all, you’d be surprised when a small size comes in handy.
Need somebody to look at the wiring in a small and fairly inaccessible area of the ship? Ask a human.
Need somebody to fix this fairly small and very detailed piece of machinery? Ask a human, they’re so small that their eyes naturally pick up smaller details.
Trapped under rubble and need somebody to crawl through a small gap and get help? Ask a human— most can wriggle through any gap that they can fit their head and shoulders through.
If you’re a friend, humans can be very useful. If, on the other hand, you’re an enemy…
Rumours spread all around the galaxy, of ships that threatened humans or human allies and started experiencing technical problems. Lights going off, wires being cut— in some cases, the cases where the threats were more than just words and humans or friends of humans were killed, life support lines have been severed, or airlocks have mysteriously malfunctioned and whole crews have been sucked out into space.
If the subject comes up, most humans will blame it on “gremlins” and exchange grim smiles when they’re other species friends aren’t looking.
By this point, most ships have a crew of humans, whether they like it or not. Lots of humans, young ones generally, the ones who want to see a bit of the universe but don’t have the money or connections to make it happen any other way, like to stowaway on ships. They’ll hang around the space ports, wait for a ship’s door to open and dart on in. The average human can have quite a nice time scurrying around in the walls of an alien ship, so long as they’re careful not to dislodge anything important.
Normally nobody notices them, and the ones that do tend not to say anything— it’s generally recognised that having humans on your ship is good luck.
If there are humans on your ship, they say, then anything you lose will be found within a matter of days, sometimes even in your quarters; any minor task you leave out— some dishes that need to be cleaned, a report that needs to be spellchecked, some calculations that need to be done— will be quickly and quietly completed during the night; any small children on the ship, who are still young enough to start to cry in the night, will be soothed almost before their parents even wake, sometimes even by words in their own tongue, spoken clumsily through human vocal chords. If any of the human are engineers (and a lot of them are, and still more of them aren’t, but have picked up quite a few tricks on their travels from humans who are) then minor malfunctions will be fixed before you even notice them, and your ship is significantly less likely to experience any major problems.
The humans are eager to earn their keep, especially when the more grateful aliens start leaving out dishes of human-safe foods for them.
This, again, is considered good luck— especially since the aliens who aren’t kind to the humans often end up losing things, or waking up to find that their fur has been cut, or the report they spent hours on yesterday has mysteriously been deleted.
To human crew members, who work on alien ships out in the open, and have their names on the crew manifest and everything, these small groups of humans are colloquially referred to as ‘ship’s rats’. There’s a sort of uneasy relationship between the two groups. On the one hand, the crew members regard the ship’s rats as spongers and potential nuisances— on the other hand, most human crew members started out as ship’s rats themselves, and now benefit from the respect (and more than a little awe) that the ship’s rats have made most aliens feel for humans. The general arrangement is that ship’s rats try to avoid ships with human crew members and, when they can’t, then they make sure to stay out of the crew members’ way, and the crew members who do see one make sure not to mention them to any alien crew members.
The aliens who know, on the other hand, have gotten into the habit of not calling them by name— mainly because they’re shaky as the legality of this arrangement, and don’t want to admit that anything’s going on. Instead they talk about “the little people” or “the ones in the walls” or, more vaguely, “Them”.
Their human friends— balancing on their shoulders, occasionally scurrying down and arm so as to get to a table, or jumping from one person’s shoulder to another, in order to better follow the conversation— laugh quietly to themselves when they hear this.
Back before the first first contact, lot of people on Earth thought that humans would become space orcs. Little did they know, they’d actually end up as space fae.
The President charges his own Secret Service to use his golf carts.
The Secret Service also had to move out of their floors in Trump Tower because they couldn’t afford the lease.
THE PRESIDENT IS MAKING MONEY OFF OF HIS PRESIDENTIAL SECURITY DETAIL.
THEY ARE REQUIRED BY LAW TO PROTECT HIM AND HE’S CHARGING THEM AT HIS PRIVATE BUSINESSES TO DO SO.
The Secret Service is almost out of money. Trump spent in one year on travel what Obama spent in eight (not to mention profited off of it). They can’t afford to pay people their people to cover Trump’s huge family as they travel for work and go on vacation every week.
This is corruption.
This is unethical.
This is something we should all be mad as Hell about.
This was actually so insane to me that I figured I HAD to make sure it was real before reblogging it with no sources. It seems to be totally real.
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