Little Alta, my female Alpine suboc. Also a high orange, but in a different way than my River Roads. It’s interesting to see the difference in their baby colors.
Bogertophis subocularis
Alright, so I’ve got this guy. His name’s Twitch. It’s not particularly clever, he has a tiny glitch somewhere in his coding (probably up next to the stuff about how to blink) that makes one of his optic lids twitch. Not important enough to put the effort into fixing it.
He used to work in medical waste disposal, cleaning up messes and removing biohazards and such.
Accidentally overheard a budding Decepticon going on a very long and entirely logical anti-Functionalist speech to some medics, thought about it for awhile, went “yeah okay makes sense”, and offered to help distribute their information. People don’t tend to notice trash bots, he was good at getting around quietly, but was eventually captured by Functionalists who had a sense of irony.
They put him through a modified variant of empurata, something experimental at the time. Took his optics out and replaced them with blank, expressionless camera lenses (though with optic lids, still with that glitch), replaced his mouth with what was basically a garbage disposal on steroids, took out his T-cog, even managed to snip out the parts of his coding and processor that dealt with transformation sequences.
Then modded the rest of his frame. Pumped up his nanite production facilities to a ridiculous degree, made him able to digest almost anything.They basically turned him into a living trash disposal slash nanite production factory.
He used to have a fairly heavy frame. Still has the struts for it, but not so much the plating and armor, looks almost emaciated.
Under his chassis armor, on both flanks, he has transparent energon-filled tanks where the excess nanites live. One for repair nanites, one for immune system nanites. His plating is covered in an unusually high number of surface nanites, and he has a couple of vacuum-pumps with attached hoses built into his frame to vacuum the nanites off his armor when a lot of them build up.
Also, his reproductive system has been retrofitted. His transfluid/reproductive nanite factories now produce transfluid full of repair nanites, and his valve has been altered to essentially milk a spike, drawing in nanites to be modified. He was /intended/ to also be useful as stress relief, but his appearance creeped most people out a bit too much.Fortunately for his mental health, he’s… weirdly calm. In his words “yeah, should’ve expected this. Oh well, works for me. It’s a life. I’m useful, nobody messes with me, and I /like/ the valve mod.”
He’s very firm about people, especially people like him, being treated well by others, but is entirely satisfied with his lot in life. Wasn’t the Functionalists screwing with his ability to care, , he’s just an incredibly calm little mech. With, uh-
Is it still called pica if the things you’re eating are edible?
He eats trash.Broken data-pads, mostly empty energon cubes, and, uhhe’ll quite happily drink medical waste.
“oh, yeah, that’s a piece of plating we had to replace, too badly singed to-"
*crunch*
”…uh"
None of the medics are sure how much they should encourage him. He’s very useful, they agree on that.
And it doesn’t hurt him to eat things like that, it’s just, well, it’s damned creepy, tends to unnerve people a bit. He forgets to care about it. The medics also tend to very strongly suggest that he use an antiseptic mouthwash.
At this point, there’s a lot of other people who have Twitch’s nanites in them somewhere after repairs, he’s a productive little thing.
And, for someone not unnerved by the fact that he /does/ kinda look both slightly emaciated and seem to have semi-exposed fuel tanks on both sides, he’s excellent in berth.Tight valve designed to milk a spike of transfluid and all. Plus the lightweight frame meaning he can be easily moved, a fairly strong frame, and he’s usually quite happy with just about everything respectful. His valve has probably been modded to take fairly large spikes, as well.
The rest of the mods, he’s either neutral about or likes them only for their usefulness.The valve mods, he very much enjoys.
Doesn’t really miss transforming. His alt was slow in the first place, he never had a strong urge to move, and the Functionalists did their job so thoroughly he doesn’t have anything left to miss transforming with. There are the memories, but he could have outrun his own alt, it was basically just a mobile trash can.
Most people would have been fragged all to Pit by what happened, but, no, Twitch is just far too chill to mind very much. His pain tolerance is extraordinarily high, as well, always has been. It takes a massive amount of damage to put him over about a pain level of 3, with 3 being “ow, yeah, I suppose that hurts, but it’s not that hard to ignore, I’m OK”.
He was a Functionalist tool/pet for awhile, being told over and over how lucky he was that they let him continue to hear, to move, then was rescued/captured/stolen by Decepticons.
So we have this little guy who’s MTMTE Tailgate’s size or smaller, with lenses for optics, a mouth hidden under a mask due to it being /fangs/, sort of an emaciated look around the joints in his limbs and his stomach, two half-visible tanks of energon under the armor at his sides, who absentmindedly picks up and eats trash. And, if upset enough and out of options, will trigger the emergency “ate something toxic” function of his fuel tank and purge whatever medical waste he’s eaten lately on whoever’s attacking him. It’s gross, but effective, considering how strong his stomach acid is.
He also has a sort of celebrity-crush on Soundwave. Like, "not sure I’d actually want a relationship but you are /hot/ and /awesome/ and I somewhat look up to you". Light fanboying with a side of “same values!!”, basically.
A new season of the Steven Universe Podcast launched January 25, 2018, and here is a recap of episode 2, released February 1, 2018! The official description:
The Steven Universe Podcast is celebrating Amethyst… with creator Rebecca Sugar, former Executive Producer Ian Jones-Quartey, Michaela Dietz (who voices Amethyst), and Deedee Magno Hall (who voices Pearl). Discover what inspired Amethyst’s weapon and shapeshifting abilities, some of the original design ideas for her character, why she’s the one who’s changed the most over the course of the series, and what Amethyst represents about Rebecca Sugar’s real-life relationship with her brother, Steven. Plus, Amethyst and Pearl both join the pod to talk favorite shapeshifts, snacks, and the benefit of a good remote control!
This is very long because the podcasts are getting long, and I don’t want to skimp on the detail because it’s all very interesting to this wonderful group of nerds who like to read these, but I also don’t want to overwhelm anyone with all the text, so I’ll give you the bulleted highlights first and a more detailed narrative under the read-more.
Highlights:
Amethyst’s earliest character designs, before she was “Amethyst,” were in Rebecca’s Lars/Sadie comics from college.
Amethyst is based physically on Rebecca’s college friend Valerie.
Amethyst represents the present.
The “we kept Amethyst” joke was written BEFORE the writers themselves knew Amethyst’s real origin.
Amethyst’s whip is meant to be Dionysian: fluid and flexible.
Amethyst’s tendency to shapeshift reflects both freedom to be whoever she wants and feeling lost and confused about who she is.
Amethyst has changed the most since the beginning of the series.
Meeting other Quartzes has allowed Amethyst to define herself with more clarity, leading her flexibility to become a choice rather than a reaction.
Smoky Quartz’s yo-yo moves were real tricks derived from Rebecca’s observation of a real yo-yo master.
Smoky represents a Fusion born out of two Gems at their lowest points, reminding viewers that sometimes you do need to ask for help.
Michaela’s favorite Amethyst forms are the baby and Purple Puma.
Deedee thinks Pearl would shapeshift into a graceful bird if she was interested in changing form.
Zach Callison has a theory that Steven and Peridot’s Fusion would be smaller than either of them, and adding Amethyst would make a tiny Shorty Squad Fusion that’s also super loud.
Michaela, performing as Amethyst in the fan Q&A, says she likes her eggs whole (including carton, plus motor oil), that she has indeed posed as someone’s cat for an extended period and has laid eggs as a chicken, does not like eating overcooked remote controls, and loves most of all to shapeshift into Pearl. WOMP WOMP.
The detailed summary, including Rebecca and Ian discussing Amethyst’s origin, Deedee and Amethyst discussing voicing the characters, and fan questions answered in character …
World’s Smallest Cat: Rusty Spotted Cat | “He may look like a kitten, he’d still fit in the palm of your hand – but this little male is very nearly fully grown. [..] What he lacks in size… he makes up for in daring.”
Ok but pueblo schools where vaquero children go and learn to read and write and tell where water’s going to be in 3 months; they’re open year round but each student only has to come for 9 months so they can still help with the cattle drive
Northwest longhouses where everyone sits together and tell stories and show carvings; the carvings move and some of them tell their own stories, the totem poles out front speak if you’re polite. Salmon come from the river and go back to the river, everyone has their preferred spell for netting salmon
The Cherokee are still in Georgia. They have a very nice clapboard school, two hundred years old, educates all the Cherokee children from all over the country and nobody else. They are very secretive about it and insist it’s actually in Oklahoma.
There’s a voodoo school in New Orleans and a Beauxbatons branch in New Orleans and a traditional African school in New Orleans and a catch-all native run school in New Orleans. They don’t acknowledge each other’s existence.
The oldest European school is in Massachusetts except that the NYC school maintains they weren’t really a school until they got their charter in 1704 and so therefore the NYC school came first. There’s a very expensive school in DC that’s not any better than the black teachers teaching healing for free on the streets
If you want muggle studies there’s nowhere better than Waterrise which has branches in San Francisco and Los Angeles, they specialize in magic that can be performed on and around muggles without detection. It is very very hippie.
The Inuit have two schools and one is located in what ought to be Russia; the Inuit also maintain their own political organisation and a wildlife refuge
The reason the Europeans insist the Massachusetts school is the only one is 1) a long running and extremely vicious political fight between them and the NYC school that resulted in two new magical species and a blanket ban on self refilling vials; as a result Massachusetts tried to run off with some of NYC’s students and the Europeans just threw up their hands and went with whoever got there first 2) every other school is very very relaxed. Not about everything but about muggles and about light vs dark magic and how hard you should try to keep magical creatures out of muggle eyes (”Statute of Secrecy? Whazzat?” a logger says, wand sticking out of his overalls, as he loses control of a yeti again)
This post is everything.
THIS is what I’d always imagined American Magic would be: the acknowledgement of the many different cultures we have, our landscape, & our history.
Not only are we populous enough to warrant more than one school, surely, it’s the American spirit to have more than one! The distance alone between coasts should warrant it; or the fact that we have provinces, islands, Alaska! And how culturally different things are depending on which coast or in which geographic quadrant you live.
I just wish Fantastic Beasts felt more relevant to America the way the HP series felt to the UK.
-There is a nation-wide ban on discussion of US politics in the schools.
-The American Minister of Magic’s way of communicating to the president that they Need To Talk is that the eagle in the seal on the carpet in the Oval Office tells him so. Using a distinctly Gilbert Gottfreid-esque voice.
-The American Ministry of Magic is under Broadway. Camouflage is nearly unnecessary there.
-The school in New Mexico is also a research facility for integration of magic and science. Their test runs of new flying vessels in the 60s were the actual UFOs.
-Whenever an American school that isn’t Ilvemorny and one of the European ones get into an argument, the Canadian schools are called upon to intervene. The last time, however, it (literally) blew up in their faces and the Canadians are seriously considering staying out of it from here on out.
-The school in New York isn’t in the city. It’s at Niagara Falls, and the entry is through the sign that explains how the Falls were created by nature. One of the dining hall’s walls is the waterfall.
-The Jewish school, however, is in New York City. The entrance is next to the Lions of the New York Public Library – the People of the Book (the actual school is on Governor’s Island). They find their choice of entrance incredibly funny.
-You know that myth about the butterflies that turn at a specific part of Lake Michigan for no reason and scientists decided it was because there was a mountain there millions of years ago? Nope. There’s a school there.
“WHY COULDN’T IT BE ‘FOLLOW THE BUTTERFLIES’”
RON WEASLEY IS UNKNOWINGLY 100% CORRECT ONCE AGAIN
Except there’d be at least three Jewish schools. Probably more like seven, because there’s the girl’s school, the boy’s school, the integrated ones (modern Orthodox, conservative, & reform), & then the one that nobody would be caught DEAD in (disagreements as to whichever one that is).
And again, Jewish wizarding summer camps.
Every single one of these sorts of posts is 100000000% better than the actual canon.
My headcanon:
Florida and Puerto Rico have a running war over which locale’s magical school is older. Florida says that it’s the one in St. Augustine (founded 1568, three years after the city itself), making it the oldest European-style school in the lower forty-eight states. Puerto Rico maintains that the magical school in San Juan was founded in 1523, which makes it the oldest European-style school in American territory. The Native-run schools in the U.S. (including the Aleut and Inuit ones in Alaska and the Pacific Islander-run school in Hawaii), Canada and Mexico all think that they’re both being ridiculous, as anything created by Natives antedates the 1500s by hundreds, if not thousands, of years. The only thing everyone agrees on is that the oldest school in North America is emphatically NOT Ilvermorny (founded circa 1620).
I love all of these headcannons, and more in the other reblogs! The beautiful thing too, is that in the cannon Ilvermorny is only the single “registered Great Wizarding School of the World” – and she says specifically that there are many other wizarding schools, not just in the US but all over the world that are not listed in those “Seven Great Wizarding Schools”. Getting the title is all about politics and European regulations, but North America its self probably has its own list of “The Great Wizarding Schools of North America” which lists all of these other schools in one awesome history book! Which can totally be found in every school’s Library.
Thus these headcannons could totally be cannon, and deserve awesome blogs, fics, and rps. Canadian Wizarding School? Yes please.
hey, so, I’ve been seeing a lot of people complaining about heterophobia! so, I’ve decided to raise some awareness! In red, I highlighted the countries where straight people are oppressed because of their sexuality. please reblog to spread awareness of this injustice!
As creepy as it may be for the owner when cats come home with dead animals/insects, you cannot get mad at them. In fact, praise them, tell them thank you. Because when a cat kills an animal for you, it means they love you, and are eternally grateful for the life you’ve given them. It’s the most honorable thing you could possibly receive from your kitty.
Cats are hardcore as fuck
like
“I love you so much I killed this for you”
actually they’re doing what mama cats do for their kittens – teaching them to hunt by leading by example
what the cat is actually saying is “you suck at hunting so i’m gonna show you how it’s done you stupid human asshole”
My cat’s not allowed outside, but when she kills bugs and spiders for me, she brings them to me. So whenever I kill a bug or something I bring t to her to show her and she gets super excited.
It still means they at least don’t want you to starve to death.
They are contributing to the household. In the wild, felis domesticus form colony groups and all the adults hunt for the young. All adults bring back surplus kills for the others even if they have no kittens of their own at the time. So it’s less either “they think you are their children and are feeding you” or “they think you are their god and are showing their gratitude by tribute” and more…
cats: yo dude i’m going down to the corner oak grove want me to get anything?
It’s a trapdoor spider! They have a network of webbing along the ground around their tunnel, and they keep their feets on it so they can feel if something is nearby. If a bug is unlucky enough to come within grabbing range, they pop out and snag it, then duck back into their door.
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