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vampireapologist:

The idea of common sense really does create a harsh world, where having had the opportunity to learn something is a point of superiority, and having been denied or just plain never given the opportunity is seen as a point of personal failure.

In a world where the idea of “common sense” rules, things seem fair at first. He got mugged there, when everyone knows that’s a dangerous street after dark. She got in a car accident, when everyone knows you have to start slowing down sooner in the snow.

But who is “everyone?” Not them, apparently. Obviously. They didn’t know. And now they’re hurt, or worse. He wasn’t from there. She was from somewhere it didn’t snow. Why didn’t anyone tell them?

We feel safe knowing that the only people who suffer are the people who just “don’t have common sense,” the people who are apparently just plain stupid, because we’re terrified of the truth, which is: bad things can happen to anyone at all, to good people, to you, and they’re more likely to happen to those who didn’t have the right knowledge for the situation, the “common sense” they needed to stay safe.

And this idea of “common sense” targets marginalized groups more than anyone, people who have been continually denied opportunities to learn, or people whose disabilities create hurdles. But anyone can be victim to this groupthink.

How many times have I met someone with apparently “no common sense,” who was raised in an abusive or neglectful household, who has had a developmental disability, or who simply and fairly just hasn’t been in this sort of situation before?

We think of common sense as the most base level of knowledge, as something “everyone,” should know. But I hold firmly that everything, everyone knows, has either been learned, or taught.

A cactus is sharp, obviously don’t touch one. How do I know? I grabbed one in my mom’s garden as a toddler, and we had to remove the needles for hours. Wouldn’t it have been better for me, and for everyone involved, if an adult–before letting me loose in the garden that they knew had sharp plants–had told me “don’t touch that cactus, it will hurt you.” It would have cost them nothing. And sure, maybe I would have anyway, that’s human, to be told and to still have to learn yourself from time to time.

But the point is, nobody blamed me. Nobody looked at me, a child, and thought “what an idiot, everyone knows cacti are full of needles.”

Because I was a child, and they gave me the benefit of the doubt that I hadn’t had the chance to learn yet. And they wished they’d told me instead of letting me get hurt.

So let’s start looking at everyone–not as children–but as beings who just maybe haven’t encountered this yet, haven’t gotten the chance to know yet, or who have been denied it.

Let’s stop labeling people as stupid or not based on what we assume they should already know.

Let’s start teaching each other, when we can, if we can without hurting ourselves.

And we’ll genuinely, truly, make the world a better, safer, more gentle place.

lunabriluna:

umistakeme-forstraight:

Don’t shame the girls who sent pictures of themselves half-naked to their significant others as a way to express eroticism which is healthy and natural… give the people hell who think it’s okay to destroy someone’s trust and distribute those images simply for entertainment purposes. 

Say it again. I don’t think they got it the first time. Too much truth.

samayla:

coffee-alien:

“Imagine having a child that refuses to hug you or even look you in the eyes”

Imagine being shamed, as a child, for not showing affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being forced, as a child, to show affection in a way that is unnatural or even painful for you. Imagine being told, as a child, that your ways of expressing affection weren’t good enough. Imagine being taught, as a child, to associate physical affection with pain and coercion.

As a preschool special ed para, this is very important to me. All my kids have their own ways of showing affection that are just as meaningful to them as a hug or eye contact is to you or me. 

One gently squeezes my hand between both of his palms as he says “squish.” I reciprocate. When he looks like he’s feeling sad or lost, I ask if I can squish him, and he will show me where I can squish him. Sometimes it’s almost like a hug, but most of the time, it’s just a hand or an arm I press between my palms. Then he squishes my hand in return, says “squish,” and moves on. He will come ask for squishes now, when he recognizes that he needs them.

Another boy smiles and sticks his chin out at me, and if he’s really excited, he’ll lean his whole body toward me. The first time he finally won a game at circle time, he got so excited he even ran over and bumped chins with me. He now does it when he sees me outside of school too. I stick out my chin to acknowledge him, and he grins and runs over and I lean down for a chin bump.

Yet another child swings my hand really fast. At a time when another child would be seeking a hug, she stands beside me and holds my hand, and swings it back and forth, with a smile if I’m lucky. The look on her face when I initiate the hand swinging is priceless.

Another one bumps his hip against mine when he walks by in the hallway or on the playground, or when he gets up after I’m done working with him. No eye contact, no words, but he goes out of his way to “crash” into me, and I tell him that it’s good to see him. He now loves to crash into me when I’m least expecting it. He doesn’t want anything, really. Just a bump to say “Hi, I appreciate you’re here.” And when he’s upset and we have to take a break, I’ll bump him, ask if he needs to take a walk, and we just go wander for a bit and discuss whatever’s wrong, and he’s practically glued to my side. Then one more bump before we go back into the room to face the problem.

Moral of the story is, alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as traditional affection. Reciprocating alternative affection is just as valid and vitally important as returning a hug. That is how you build connections with these children. 

Best dreams to everybody reading this! Gonna go to sleep now.

iopele:

the-tao-of-fandom:

out-there-on-the-maroon:

cleanertheseus:

camwyn:

blueelectricangels:

cool-wears-a-trenchcoat:

fanboying-ace:

alexandraya:

crystallinecrow:

do-what-the-knight-tells-you:

o-kau:

pepelover22:

elliesugw:

hell-or-wonderland:

bird-motif:

deliciouslactobacillus:

kitchenwitchupinthisbitch:

salvi-bruja:

reformchassid:

sarahcakes613:

thefeatherofhope:

westeroswolf:

allthedances:

thehundredtimesobsessed:

teacoffeebooks:

thelawfullawblr:

katyasupernova:

pdxjenni:

emmeetslawschool:

the-pigeon-queen:

itrieddontjudgeme:

merlinsearsarebeloved:

nonbinarybuckys:

nurseys-long-lost-chill:

samwellhaus:

elizabethan-ho:

lighteningmccain:

ckret2:

specsthespectraldragon:

wiwaxia:

officiallordvetinari:

somesortofabstractcat:

hauntedpamplemousse:

palamate:

smashtheshell:

rebel-without-a-cunt:

gaydicks420:

kaguramutsuki:

shoutout to those random peacocks you find in places that are probably unsuitable for a peacock to inhabit in the first place

what the fuck kinds of lives are you guys leading. i’ve never seen a peacock in my life. where are u guys finding them.

Random neighborhoods in Florida

a gas station in morocco

middle of a busy road in england

middle of the woods in a rural town in Mississippi 

Irish farms??

Roof of a house in a tiny English village

Screaming their heads off in abandoned fuel stations in the back-blocks of the Rangitikei

with a group of pheasants in the woods in maryland

Strutting outside the window of an elementary school library in Texas.

Walking down the street of a California suburb on a hot summer afternoon like he owns the place

At a golf club in Long Island

At a strawberry festival in SoCal

Outside a café in Ayia Napa

Walking thru my neighborhood in nebraska

watching over fish near a pond in switzerland

walking around the zoo parking lot

on a car roof pulled over on the interstate on the way to Myrtle Beach

Friend’s neighbor’s yard in suburban Maryland

Stealing the dog food off our back porch in rural Oregon.

There’s a big house on a major road across from a college in Salt Lake. They must own peacocks because I somewhat regularly see them on the sidewalk in front of that property.

A cattle farm in rural Australia. 

In a buddy’s back yard fighting with a neighborhood cat in Arizona in the middle of fucking summer.

Walking through Lisbon Castle like a tourist.

Chastising its cat friend while strolling along a reforestation trail in northern Ontario, Canada.

Pub garden in England 

At the Los Angeles Zoo. He doesn’t belong to the zoo, he just walks around displaying his plumage and posing for pictures. Occasionally chases small children with snacks.

chasing childhood me in Stanley Park in Vancouver. probably because I had snacks.

A hotel lobby in central Mongolia

The Glendale, Arizona library

Chasing dudes down a country highway in Northwest Washington.

At a campsite in South Carolina

Buddhist temple in West Virginia

My backyard in michigan

My cow field s i t t i n g on a back of one chilling, North Carolina

standing right in the middle of the sidewalk in san diego, like he was waiting for me

a viking village in western norway

Casually strolling through an open-air Celtic Festival just outside of Las Vegas.

They wander around inner city Cincinnati. They escape the zoo, and the keepers have to go with nets and grab them on occasion.

The zoo has officially stopped supporting the population because there are too DAMN MANY of them. They reduced the flock from 40 to 6 in 2008. I think they have more now. 

They just LEAVE. 

Roosting in our barn in Ohio. Roosting in our trees, roosting in our pool shed, just hanging out on our back porch. Look we just had peafoul everywhere for something like four years, and we’ve no idea why.

A breeding pair or two must’ve made it across the river from Cincinnati because I’ve seen a few wandering around northern Kentucky

Grass farm in Texas

suburban roof in small-town Saskatchewan

End of a driveway in a wooded part of northern New Jersey

South Ferry in Manhattan. 

Middle of nowhere (as in the town has a population of less than 2000) Maine on a shitty looking farm, roosting in the rafters of a farmhouse porch. 

Inner city park in Bucharest. Like half of them were albinos for some reason

in a tiny town called Comstock Texas, apparently living atop an abandoned house across the road from my parents’ place, screaming its damn head off for like 2 months and making me wonder if it just didn’t know how to get DOWN

Oh, and they can fly. Like not just a little bit, they can get onto things. Dang screaming phoenixes, getting everywhere.

teashoesandhair:

Dear everyone who is currently working on a Thing, whatever that Thing may be,

Good luck with the Thing. You can do the Thing. You will do the Thing. You just have to do the Thing.

Best wishes,

Someone who is also doing a Thing