listing-to-port:

1. The first reminder: don’t forget to get new supplies of that thing you are just about to run out of.

2. Second: remember to wake up at an appropriate time for that thing you were going to do. For example, if you are attending the founding of Vladivostok you should set your alarm for July, 1850. You may need to use that button on the back to get the correct setting.

3. Third: remember that there are metal-tipped mountains on Venus which are higher than any mountain on Earth.

4. Fourth: remember to walk that thing that needs walking, I am not quite sure what the thing is, it might be a dog or an idea or a romance, and the walking might be literal or metaphorical but anyhow: that thing is sitting at your feet and panting and you might want to give it a bit of exercise or it’ll be keeping you up all night.

5. Then too, remember that song, the one that filled up your whole head for days and you couldn’t stop little bits of it slipping out of your mouth from time to time? Just asking.

6. Sixth: have you remembered that cats’ feet have little beans on the bottom so far today? If not, this is your official reminder to remember this.

7. Seventh: don’t forget to talk to that person you were going to talk to, they would probably be happy to hear from you.

8. Also, eighth, just to remind you, you have a tongue in your mouth and if you think about it you can just sort of feel it sitting there.

9. Ninth: this is a reminder that one day you will look at the unrolling horizon and feel a sudden cloud lifting, a cloud you were never even quite sure was there, and behind it unexpected joy.

10. And finally: remember that most things, really, turn out OK, and most people are at least alright and at best amazing, and hidden within each awesome thing there are usually at least six more curled up like woodlice.