Do you prefer your kobolds to be reptiles or rodents?
Kobolds are, in my brain, the most generic monster I can imagine at the time. They have no distinct shape or features or anything other than they’re some level 1 scrub who’s about to catch some hands. They’re the fantasy equivalent of goombas. I’ve seen them portrayed as wolfmen and reptiles and rodents and all of them are wrong, they’re just an amalgam of all the most vaguely menacing, but only a little, traits.
lizardman im gay
Weird thing that looks like it’s halfway through evolving from reptile to mammal. Scaly-texture skin like a possum, traits from both. Heck, make them monotremes, give ‘em venomous spurs and milk ducts.
If i remember correctly, they’re mini-swarming to warm that fucker up and make him die of heat stroke
They literally heat him up to about 1 degree less of the temperature that they can die from. Thank you college lol
Alright, this is really cute, but they’re not “avenging” anything. The scent of a killed honeybee makes the others go into defensive mode against the threat, that’s why they all start moving fast. Bees don’t exhibit care for each other.
And yes, they’re going to cook the hornet to death. They vibrate themselves and produce heat, and the hornet, trapped under their weight, slowly dies of heat stroke.
That’s the beauty of digital watches. I never go anywhere without my digital calculator watch. People love to shit-talk this thing, but I’m always the first to answer “Hey, what time is it?”
Five times the convenience, none of the irritating ticking. Casio is not paying me for this endorsement.
And there are ‘silent’ clocks/watches that are still analog, though I don’t know if they’re truly silent or just very quiet.
Listen, friends, I have to get serious for a second here.
This is Asriel. You may have seen me post about her. Like all good pet owners, I love her. She’s my little baby girl.
And yes, she loves walks! She also loves cuddles and flowers and pets! People have fully stopped their cars on the streets to tell me how cute she is. They stop and ask if they can pet her or hold her. They ask if they can feed her a blade of grass or a clover. And I usually say yes (provided the lawn in question doesn’t use pesticides) because Asriel loves attention and she loves getting a little sun and a little exercise.
But then I always hear it. Every single time I walk her, it’s inevitable. Someone will say, “What a great idea! We should look into getting a bunny!”
STOP
Or at least pause. I’m here to tell you a few things about bunny ownership that are less glamorous than when I walk her in the park.
Rabbits poop. I know what you’re
thinking, you’re thinking, “lol my dog is a poop machine!” but you don’t
get it. If you dismiss this then you have no idea how much a bunny
poops.
This is Asriels litter box after one day. I
came home from work to this. Doesn’t look like a lot? Imagine if I forgot to clean it one day. Picture this doubled. Picture it tripled. I clean her litter box twice a day, three times if you count the one in her sleeping pen. It is required that I do this, or else she will get sick, and so will people who come into my apartment. And on that note
Just because MY bunny is trained, doesn’t mean YOUR bunny can be trained. Not
all rabbits will poop or pee in the litter box. Not all rabbits walk on
a leash. Not all rabbits want to cuddle. Not all rabbits want to be
picked up. You didn’t raise Asriel, and you didn’t see me train her. So you don’t know that I got her at a mere month old (the older a rabbit is, the harder they are to train). You didn’t see me follow her around the apartment for weeks with rubber gloves on. You didn’t see me spray her with a water bottle for trying to eat the carpet. You didn’t see me observe her behavior as carefully as possible so as to conform to her behavior, rather than expecting to train her in the same manner as a cat or a dog.
Rabbits have very specific diets. This isn’t like most pets where you can buy a specific brand of food and leave it at that. Asriel requires a harmonious mix of hay, pellets, vegetables, and fresh greens to keep her healthy and strong. The diets will vary depending on the individual rabbit and breed. ALL rabbits require CONSTANT access to hay for fiber and dental health. Pellets and vegetables (especially carrots, because they are high in sugar) should be given in limited amounts. Going against this diet is DANGEROUS. Digestion problems are very real in rabbits. Fun fact – did you know a rabbit can’t vomit? They have no way of expelling toxic substances aside from allowing their body to (at least attempt to) digest it.
Rabbits eat and chew on everything. This is not a habit you will break them of. It is in their nature. They see a cord hanging from the wall and it looks just like a delicious blade of grass to them. I have heard of rabbits eating entire textbooks, clothes, toys, cords, plastic, chewing on metal. They do not know how to differentiate between your favorite necklace and a tasty piece of celery.
Rabbits are EXPENSIVE. Asriel has to go to a specialized vet who has his office set up out of town. We have to take a cab to get there because no bus lines run there. That’s a $50 cab ride in addition to the $300 vet bill. Having her spayed alone was $350.
Vet visits are NOT optional Just because America doesn’t have any laws requiring rabbits be vaccinated or spayed/neutered, doesn’t mean you can neglect the healthcare of your rabbit. Regular veterinary visits are necessary to detect small issues before they become big ones. You need to seek out a vet who specializes in rabbit care and rabbit surgery. Spaying or neutering your rabbit will prevent hormone-driven behaviors and uterine cancer in female rabbits.
Rabbits need lots of space Bunnies have powerful hind legs that need to stretch, hop, jump, and run. A bunny trapped in a cage all day not only risks stress (which reduces your rabbit’s lifespan), but also depression and even muscular dystrophy. They need exercise and lots of freedom.
Rabbits bite and scratch Even Asriel does. As used as she is to being handled, when she wants down, she’ll let you know quick. They have sharp teeth and will nip if you do something they don’t like. Hell, some rabbits are cranky and will nip for no reason. Not all rabbits like to be handled. Just because Asriel cuddles under your chin doesn’t mean every rabbit will.
“But Typhon!” You may be saying, “Why even keep a rabbit if it’s so much work? Don’t you love your rabbit?”
YES! Asriel is the sweetest bunny and I am the luckiest bunny owner to have her. Dogs and cats are lots of work too, and nobody would argue that it isn’t worth keeping one.
But here’s the thing …
Every year, thousands of rabbits are adopted or purchased as Easter presents.
Every year, thousands of rabbits are abandoned, set free (a death sentence for domestic rabbits), or die because the people who receive them as presents do not know how to care for them.
It breaks my little bunny-loving heart. These are not bad people. I’m sure they wanted the best for their bunny. I’m sure they tried their best and just didn’t expect the commitment, or didn’t know any better.
Adopting a bunny means a commitment of 10 or more years. It is a financial and emotional commitment, and one that you should not take on without some SERIOUS research and preparation. I have sunk thousands of dollars into the care of my bunny, and while I cannot say enough that it is worth every penny, I bought her knowing what I was getting myself into.
So please, please, please say it with me …
Bunnies are not good Easter presents
Bunnies are not good Easter presents
BUNNIES ARE NOT GOOD EASTER PRESENTS
BUNNIES ARE NOT GOOD EATER PRESENTS
DO NOT BUY A CHILD A BUNNY FOR EASTER
DO NOT BUY ANYONE A BUNNY FOR EASTER UNLESS THEY ARE FULLY PREPARED TO CARE FOR IT
If you’ve read all of this and you still think you’d like a bunny – great! Goodness knows the shelters will be full of them a few weeks after Easter. I recommend giving https://rabbit.org/ a visit, and perhaps picking up a copy of The Rabbit Handbook by Karen Gendron. You should also do some research on veterinary care in your area, as well as calling up local pet stores to make sure they carry the supplies you’ll need to care for your rabbit. Make sure to get the supplies BEFORE you get the rabbit. No bunny should come home and not have a pen to sleep in.
Bunnies are great pets. They have a wide range of personalities just like cats and dogs. They can be shy, friendly, playful, skittish, cuddly, or nippy. All rabbits are good rabbits. I just beg of you, this Easter season, to remember that they are living creatures. They need constant care and attention, and while it’s well worth the effort, it’s not something to take lightly.
Asriel and I thank you for listening.
Living animals are not “lessons” for your children. It’s not their job to teach your child responsibility. They deserve a happy, fulfilled life with the best of care.
where is my bog real estate agent to select the correct peat for me to decompose in
If you just want a little bit of flashy, try a peat bog that has carnivorous plants in it. Sarracenia pitchers are native to much of the U.S, and in the Carolinas you can find Venus flytraps, plus sundews in a lot of other areas. Orchids are popular bog decor as well.
Those neat plants are generally found in sphagnum peat, made from sphagnum moss, rather than peat made from decayed reeds and shrub-like plants. Truthfully, the differences in chemical composition of peats are minimal. I prefer sphagnum peat for the carnivorous plants, but there are interesting things in sedge peat as well. Regardless of what some people will try to tell you, you should pick your bog mostly based on your personal aesthetics rather than exact specifications of the peat- it’s the acidity and lack of oxygen that are important. I personally love the imagery of Venus flytraps and their pseudo-fangs, but you may prefer the drowning pools of the Sarracenia pitchers or the relentless glue of the sundews. Or perhaps you prefer the straightforward but strange beauty of the orchids?
Regardless of aesthetic, if you purchase an area of bog to bury yourself in, the rare plants living in it will be safe from industrial development!
Be sure to request that your burying assistants be careful with the top layer of bog and place it all back as it was, the plants should cope just fine with the disturbance. You needn’t worry about your chemical or nutrient content, either, the lack of decomposition means most of that will stay contained and won’t affect the plant life around you.
the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World’s End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore
who thought of that idea? who thought “put davy jones in a bucket of water” and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went “hey that sounds like a great idea!”
at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it
*stands majestically in a bucket*
ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in
It’s even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the first place.
Some folks are asking “well, if he can avoid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn’t that ruin his whole motivation?”, but he’s not on dry land here.
The parley takes place on a sandbar – which, for the unfamiliar, is a temporary “island” of sand deposited by breaking waves, unconnected with the shore, that spends most of its time submerged, being exposed only at low tide.
What Jones is doing here is rules-lawyering his curse. Can you imagine the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this would actually work?
“Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the shore below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoals? What if I stand in a pool of water on a shoal? Does it have to be seawater, or will any water do? Does it have to be a natural tidepool, or can it be something artificial, like a bucket?”
What I am saying is that there must have been a process.
Pretty sure that this implies that the reverse – a bucket of sand, floating on the water (big bucket with just a bit of sand), would qualify as dry land. That’s absurd, so I’m pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse governor.
It may be absurd, but the text of the film bears it out. Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it’s at sea, but not while it’s on land (indeed, that’s why he buried it on land in the first place: to break his connection with it) – yet placing the heart in a simple jar of dirt conceals it from Jones’ awareness just as surely as burial on land does, even if the jar is on a boat at the time. Suitably prepared vessels filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jones’ curse.
Then the reverse should also be true. If he buried it in a jar of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to sense it. So by this logic, any container of seawater counts as not dry land, ergo, the bucket is a perfectly viable loophole.
Not necessarily. It’s traditionally a lot easier to accidentally get whammied by a curse than it is to weasel around it – I figure that’s why he’s using multiple layers of indirection here. He’s forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it’s technically not dry land (it’s a sandbar, a non-permanent landform exposed only at low tide) and he technically didn’t set foot on it (he’s standing in a bucket of water). It’s entirely possible that either one of those things alone wouldn’t make the grade.
okay but this all raises one further, very important question: if it’s specifically “dry land” he’s forbidden from, what about wetlands.
can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he throw down in a peat bog?Swamp Battle?
This is the quality content I come to Tumblr for.
could he step on land if his shoes are wet?
No matter how ridiculous PotC gets I will love it. Especially when it results in conversations like this
What if he crawls around on his hands and knees, with his feet raised slightly into the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or a wheelchair?
can he be in a wheelbarrow?
What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air balloon, or in the claws of a giant bird?
What if he’s carried by two swallows using a strand of creeper?
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