Concept: Some jackass shows Bucky how to make a blog and it becomes really popular. Not because it’s the blog of James Buchanan Barnes, American Legend, War Hero, Infamous Assassin, Alleged Terrorist. Nobody even knows it’s his blog. It gets really popular because people think it’s a really great shitpost generator or something. Because Bucky is just a Weird Fucking Person and everything he posts on his fucking personal blog comes off as somewhere between dril and Jaden Smith and people are like “this is some quality garbage right here” and thus Accidental Memelord Bucky is born.
Bucky posts things like
“What is wrong with bananas. I ate a banana today and it was Wrong. America why”
“Every time I put on my eye makeup it gets bigger. My whole face is eyeliner now.”
“Why does friendship feel so much like punching”
“When I wake up in the middle of the night I am either thinking ‘who am I? does my life have meaning?’ or “did I already eat all of the plums?’”
“Why are you so grumpy” they ask me. they do not realize this is just my Face.”
“I know i said i would give my left arm for a cup of coffee but i am more awake now and i would like my arm back please”
“I guess I must have done something horrible in a past life. I mean. I definitely did something horrible in this life, so. “
OMG I LOVEEEE
YEEESSSSSSS!
“Guy in front of me won’t move his car seat up. I think that might still be upset about all those times I tried to kill him.”
“Got lectured by a guy who had been complaining about how things were Back In The Day. I don’t understand why he got upset. I too lived through the Great Depression and was drafted for the War.”
“The economy in this century sucks. Who exactly though another Stock Market crash was a good idea?”
“Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them. On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.”
“‘If you don’t behave we’ll send (mutual) after you.’ Jokes on them. I’m the one who trained them to be an assassin in the first place.”
“Tried to buy a Chicken Dinner candy bar at the supermarket today. Turns out they were discontinued 54 years ago. Super bummed.”
“Wait. People were on the moon?! We got into space? There is a way off of this rock?! Why am I only just hearing about this?!”
“’Have you been living under a rock the past 50 years?’ No I was cryogenically frozen for 70. I don’t appreciate your tone young man.”
“My friend likes convincing people that I’m the Reckless one in our friendship. As if he won’t find an alley behind a bar to pick a fight in if I take my eyes off him for two seconds.”
“Why would i want to get a haircut when instead I can look like i just returned from a 12 year jaunt in the wilderness every time i grow a beard”
“was having a hard time finding noodles in the grocery store & asked a clerk for help. she looked at me like a crazy person. lady, it’s not my fault you don’t speak russian”
“what kind of idiot thinks dancers are sissies? literally every ballerina i have ever met could kill an adult man with just her legs”
“today i discovered Conditioner. the future is a miracle and my hair like a cloud now”
“apparently just jumping on to a moving bus when you are running late is not a thing people do anymore. please stop yelling at me.”
“went to a club last night to see what the hip kids were into. apparently the latest thing is just having sex standing up with your clothes on in a room full of people.”
“on the one hand, people dressed much nicer in the 40s. on the other hand, yoga pants.”
“rode in a car with heated seats today. it is my house now. i live here.”
“i have acquired a small bear. i am putting a collar and leash on him. he is my dog. no one tell animal control”
“i am working on this whole Good Guy thing but anyone who cuts me in line at starbucks deserves to have their kneecaps shot out okay”
“why did they have to make escalators so terrifying to get on and off of? from now on I’m just jumping off the mall balconies. none of this awful moving teeth staircase”
“i don’t care if it’s a ‘priceless historical artifact,’ punk, i didn’t wanna do the dishes and it makes a pretty good spaghetti bowl”
“hoodie pockets are so great. i can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm”
“i really though we would have flying cars by now. the future is such a letdown.”
“changed sam’s ringtone to jesus take the wheel.”
“do you know that feeling when you go to lean on your short friend’s conveniently arm-rest-height shoulder but you forget they had a huge growth spurt and you just awkwardly lean your elbow into the middle of their bicep”
“i swear i didn’t know your girlfriend was coming over. i always ominously clean my assault weapons on the coffee table like that. it had nothing to do with you.”
Jacked? Damn straight, have you seen him with those weight lifting scenes?! He lifts it up like it’s a feather!
Dude spends every week running for his life with a dog that’s got to be at least 100 lbs in his arms. Constant aerobic workout with weights, massive hunger, laid back attitude: he’s an fighting-anime hero whose style is entirely built around escape and speed.
According to season 1 episodes of Scooby-Doo, Where Are You, Shaggy is both “the swingingest gymnast in school”, and a track & field athlete who is the fastest (human) in the gang. So, yes. Definitively canon.
His appetite isn’t about being stoned, it’s because he’s a teenage jock.
every time i read “straight people” i automatically picture the pixies from fairly odd parents
These kind of posts make me think bad of gay people. If you want to talk about how straight people are “closed-minded” then just look at this post. How do they expect to ever be respected if they constantly talk about straight people in this way. It really irritates me when I see posts like these.
They’re basically like tiny chickens with a hint of pigeon. I’m currently feeding them chicken feed crumbles, fish feed, dried herbs, fresh greens, live dubia roaches, dried mealworms, and left over pigeon feed (usually sorghum and millet). They get oyster shell, grit, and a daily vitamin supplement in addition to their sun lamp.
They like to dust bathe a lot so I use equine wood pellets that have been soaked and fluffed as bedding mixed with some potting soil (doesn’t have any use except adding interest). People keep them in tiny cages but I think 5’ for length should be the MINIMUM. They’re very active and bouncy that use every inch of their space. I’ve been letting them out lately and they run all over my room without getting even a little tired.
They really like shelter. I find that they’re not a fan of actual hiding boxes so much as leaves and branches covering much of the enclosure. The fake ones designed for reptiles work well, as would (edible) real plants. I’m going to take out a rabbit hide I have in for them and get a nice big edible plant…probably parsley or basil. Something very leafy and fun. Try to copy a temperate forest floor. Ferns, hollow logs, rocks to jump on, plants to run through, plenty of cover to dash into when threatened.
Water is pretty important to Chinese painted quail, not just in the way it is for everything but also a key component to their natural environment. Naturally they would not venture far from streams and drink pretty frequently. Keep water always available, accessible, clean, and moving water is a big bonus! I’m going to use a tiny fish filter in a dish to keep water moving and clean (still working up to that, I really take my time with them since I don’t want to go backwards in my efforts to befriend them).
I would think that chicks who are imprinted on people and raised lovingly would require more attention and enrichment than unsocialized quail which is something to keep in mind.
Overall they’re fairly easy once you have everything set up. As for their sounds, pretty quiet. They whisper a lot, little beeps and squeaks that can’t be heard unless you’re listening closely. Both the hens and the cocks crow which is the loudest noise they make, there seem to be a few different crows that they do and they’re simply a joy. Just google button quail crow! It is pretty loud for a little bird (nothing like a parrot), but such a fun and pleasant noise that I don’t mind. They do it a few times a day, I’ve identified a few reasons; finished laying an egg, separated from one another, to let me know they’re out of food, and just because they’re happy I think. They have three notes, two notes, and the very rare four note crow. I can’t tell which means what yet.
Painted quail are best kept in pairs, one male to one female. One male to a couple of females is possible but can go bad. An enclosure 2 feet by 4-5 feet should be enough space for them.
Coturnix quail are slightly larger and a bit smellier, best kept outside in enclosures well reinforced against predators (no chicken wire! It’s useless, use 1/4″ hardware cloth) so they have enough space. They need to be kept in groups with one male to at least 4 females. Care is otherwise pretty much the same. They’ll do OK in the same size cage as painted quail, but really ought to have more space. I’d suggest nothing smaller than 4 by 4 feet.
Both need to have padding on the top of their cage, inside, because they jump up when scared and can hurt their little heads if they have enough room to accelerate. If the cage is taller than 12″ but shorter than 6′, padding is needed.
Coturnix tame much more easily than painted quail.
My tummy doesn’t have to be cute. It holds my internal organs. My thighs don’t have to “crush men’s skulls”. I use them to carry myself. My stretch marks don’t have to be tiger stripes I earned. They came when I grew.
Stop.
feeling this
This!
I feel like even body positivity is too focused on, like, the appearance of the body. I know I became a whole lot happier with my body when I started thinking of it less in terms of how it looked (to me or anyone else) and realized, that, like…
When I feel cool breeze on my skin on a really hot day, my body did that for me.
When I step into a bath after a hike, and my muscles ache, but in a good way, and the steam all around me makes me feel like a flower blooming, my body did that for me.
And the hike before it, and standing on a large rock breathing the raw winter air seeing the power of the half-frozen river. That too.
When I’ve had a plate of pasta puttanesca, and I chopped and sauteed the ingredients and now I’m full-but-not-uncomfortable, and warm all over, and perfectly content, my body did that for me.
My body doesn’t have to look awesome to be awesome. It’s awesome because it’s where I live.
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