adventures-in-poor-planning:

madtomedgar:

thinking about the statement that all maladaptive coping mechanisms were helpful and, well, adaptive, at some point, and that they become maladaptive when the circumstance changes or when their detriments outweigh their benefits, and how the framework of “this is no longer helpful to you” is probably better than “this is a bad habit/this is bad for you.” How much better “you don’t have to live like that anymore” feels than “that’s a bad habit you picked up when you were in a bad place.” “It’s ok, you can look now,” vs “you’ve been tainted/infected/sullied by a previous bad circumstance.”

Thought about this today while reading about hermit crabs. 

Hermit crabs start out their lives tiny and defenceless, and they choose a small shell to protect them. When they grow too big for the shell, big enough that it stops them from growing more, they abandon it and move on to a shell better for them at that size.

Does that mean the old shell was a terrible mistake? No, because it protected them back when they were smaller and more defenceless! But now it’s limiting their growth, and it’s time for them to find a better shell.

Humans, like hermit crabs, pick up shells when we need protection. Sometimes, we need to ditch those shells to keep growing! If we look at them as shells instead of Irredeemable Moral Failures, it’s a hell of a lot easier to let them go.

galindathegay:

topsydead:

I’m telling you elephants are chill motherfuckers. They fucking love being helpful. They once defended a man with heatstroke from a truck that came to rescue him. They knew he was sick, laying against a tree for shade. They were watching over him and petting him, and they threatened to charge the vehicle for coming towards him. Another person passed out, and elephants cried over her and buried her body in a traditional elephant funeral. (Piling branches on her). And were quite spooked when she got up later.

And an elephant was helping workers to put logs in holes for a wall. On one hole, the elephant absolutely refused to set the log in, despite being punished and goaded. Turns out there was a sleeping dog in the hole.

There are so many good elephants stories. They will even help zookeepers wash other elephants– literally, a zookeeper can be like “[Name 1], please wash [Name 2]” and he will go wash that elephant correctly.

Listen guys. Not only are elephants people, but they’re largely better people than us. I’m 10000% serious.

Tag yourself I’m an elephant

Yes, elephants are wonderful beings, but this picture is fake. 

It is very clearly photoshopped. More than that, lions will kill baby elephants, and elephants know this. The elephant would not offer to pick up the baby lion, it would pick up the adult lion and throw her several yards, and/or try to step on her if she got too close. Elephants do not like lions. 

coldaethyl:

ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa:

So, I had a guy hand me his number today and he followed it with, “I mean no disrespect, but here—”

I told him I was flattered but had a long term, serious girlfriend, who I loved very much.

To which he responded, still pleasant and with polite interest,  ”She’s a lucky woman. How long have you been together?”

THAT is how you approach/handle a ‘no’, boys. take fucking notes.

Reblogging because this is freakin’ important

hells-finest-gentleman:

alarajrogers:

closet-keys:

Me and some pals were out walking the other day and a woman comes up to us and asks “Hey, do you know which way to the farmer’s market?” [We did and happily tell her] and then she says “Thanks! you look like the kind of people who know where the farmer’s market is” 

new euphemism for looking gay. You look like the kind of people who know where the farmer’s market is

Um, I think actually this is a euphemism for being a young hipster. Lots and lots of young straight people know where the farmer’s market is.

Yes, but do they LOOK like they do? Or do they look like they took some instas at it then prompt went to whole foods.