thepuzzledshipper:

catbountry:

nikuzilla-la-chu-nyu:

the-hatred-machine:

kareshy:

gigaguess:

mrsdevilla:

the-treble:

internationalgirl:

This is why you should have a cat y’all. Egyptians believed that cats repelled evil spirits.

Cats are evil spirits. They’re just the strongest so all others must bow to their greatness.

Actually according to legend, cats are guardians of the Underworld. So once you are dead if you try to sneak back into the land of the living they send you back where you came from. They protect the living from the dead.

If you ever wonder why a cat stares off into the wild blue yonder and then bolts off for “no reason…”

That cat even looks like it’s accusing him of something like wait a Fucking minute here are you dead did you really think you could slip that shit passed me

I don’t know where you get your sources but cats were not fucking “guardians of the underworld”; this movie is based on EGYPT, cats were common domestic pets by the time Egypt unified, and they were representations of the goddess Bastet, ex goddess of warfare (formerly asociated with a lioness ), post-unification protector goddess. Cats were guardians of houses because they embodied the representation of Bastet, the “EYE of Ra”, the one that tells ra whatever happens. If a cat saw an evil spirit, it would tell Ra, and Ra would smite down the fucker in an instant. Bastet was also feared by evil spirits because she was the only one to be able to harm the evil snake Apep and save Ra’s ass, so you bet someone that escaped Anubis’ judgement and Osiris’ preservation would do well to fear Bastet out of fear of being caught by said gods.
They were seen as this as well because they disposed of rats and snakes (perhaps an egyptian once saw a cat killing a snake and went “OH BAST JUST KILLED APEP” and that’s how the mythos started), so they were useful animals to keep as pets, revered, adored, mourned when they died, and if you killed one you received death penalty.

The only animal seen as a “guardian of the underworld” were jackals, because they embodied Anubis and were seen near tombs, but that’s because they entered said tombs to try and eat the corpses and the egyptians based their entire Anubis lore on them.

So yeah, if you were an evil emperor that escaped the process of the gods you once worshipped, unleashed curses around the world disrespecting your own pantheon, and you came across an avatar of the goddess of Warfare that could also call upon Ra to pulverize you with sunlight, and have your soul sundered by Osiris and weighted by Anubis to go to your rightful place as someone who perished AGES ago, you would shit on your pants as well.

image

So basically the cat is saying “Im tellin’ Ra”

That cat’s a snitch.

Lmao

actualmermaid:

I will never not be delighted by the first English description of an opossum:

“An Opassom hath an head like a Swine, and a taile like a Rat, and is of the bignes of a Cat. Under her belly she hath a bagge, wherein she lodgeth, carrieth, and sucketh her young.”

I’ve seen worse descriptions. 

jairden:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

I worked at a hardware store down the street from a convent and the sisters were of the Franciscan order and st francis is the patron saint of animals so anyway one day one of them came in and she was like “i need a mouse trap, we have a mouse in the convent!” and it’s the facts that mice in your kitchen are huge health hazards but I said “sister……….would st. francis approve” and IMMEDIATELY it was clear I’d hit a nerve she said “THAT’S WHAT THE OTHERS SAID, BUT I’M NOT HAVING A MOUSE IN THE KITCHEN” and it was SO freaking funny because I know the other sisters and that they were messing with her too but I was the Last Straw.

ppl tagging this “not sure if this is true” like. is that what the kids online are doin’ these days? lying about working in a hardware store or about bein’ friends with members of the catholic church? is that how we’re getting notes now??

honestly it was nun of our business.

If it happens again, some places make live mouse traps, and there are designs online to make them out of soda bottles and the like. The mouse walks into the trap, the trap shuts, and you have one very confused but unharmed mouse that can easily be relocated to not a kitchen.

realfootage:

im seeing people get like genuinely worried that the pornbot ARG is someone ~in danger~ and im assuming a lot of you all have no experience with ARGs so this seems very strange and unfamiliar, but just think about it logically like. if someones in danger, there is absolutely no circumstance in where someone is at risk and the only possible means of communication is by saying “hey peehead can you teleport” to people on tumblr and leading to a website youve coded to be pretty typical ARG fare with cryptic messages and also imagery about angels.

its a game, no one is in danger, just sit back and enjoy the ride