So my trainer’s bf cheated on her. She broke up with him. He’s holding her stuff hostage until she agrees to talk with him. Which she refuses.
She trains; for free mind you; three college linebackers, a college wrestler, two martial artists, a body builder, and… wait for it…. a Navy seal. We’re gonna go get her shit for her.
This should make for an interesting story.
So everyone who commented on this being like the avengers, you are absolutely right. That’s what all of us had in our heads as we were rolling over to dude’s house. But I’m very proud to say, this ended without violence.
Arrival:
So the super friends all jumped into one of the linebacker’s explorer and headed over to dude’s house. Ok the squad: you all know me, but the other martial artist is a little wirey hapkido guy, the linebackers are all giants (an estimated combined weight of I’d say 750-800lbs), the wrestler looks like an escaped gorilla, then the navy seal looks like your average guy but something about him is unsettling. Really unsettling. Unfortunately, the body builder had to work. Anyway, we send the Hapkido guy and the wrestler to the door first and dude answers, screams at them, and then slams the door in their face. Then the giant linebackers head over and they ring the door bell again. Lo and behold, he was much more polite, but still denied access. Finally, me and the seal join the fray. I casually make my way towards the front of the group, but the seal decides to CLIMB THE BANISTER. We all just turned and started at him completely shocked when dude answers the door. He looks at this weird mismatched group of relatively threatening individuals and one guy perched on his banister like batman. He was like “FINE. Go take what you’re looking for.”
Retrieval:
So we’re all walking through the house gathering what we think are her things and putting them into two boxes. Mind you. We are completely guessing. We didn’t even tell her we were coming, therefore we had no list of items.The only one really being productive was Hapkido, who was legitimately looking for stuff. The linebackers were just randomly picking up furniture, turning it over, and putting it back down. Just showing off how strong they were. In case the numbers game wasn’t enough, I guess they were letting him know they could break him if they wanted to. The seal was just shadowing dude in his own house. Walking behind him, not saying much, just being creepy. Then there’s me. Who was causing general mischief…. He said to take what I was looking for, that’s what I was looking for. Ahaha and the wrestler made a fricken sandwich. Because “you guys look like you have it under control, and I’m a sucker for egg salad.” We were in and out in 15 minutes.
Delivery:
So the autobots rolled out and headed towards homegirl’s spot. She was conveniently outside when we rolled up. We got out and she was like, how do you all even know each other. The truth is, we don’t. She sent us all an email once and didn’t blind copy us all. She vented to all of us about dude holding onto her stuff and we started emailing and that was that. We told her that we went to see her ex. “OMG what did you say to him?” Nothing. We’re not messenger boys. We’re delivery boys. And we gave her her boxes of stuff. She went through the first box and said that was most of her stuff. Then she got to my box and asked “Wtf is all that shit.” So I explained that I took all the batteries out of his remote controls, his deodorant, the light bulb out of his master closet, every pair of dress socks that I could find, the laces out of his running shoes, and all the toilet paper in the house. The guys just looked at me and kind of nodded like they were impressed. She then unexpectedly started CRYING and thanked us. So you have this group of meat heads all standing awkwardly with this weeping trainer. It was quiet for a second when the seal was like “So…. chipoltle?” And we all got burrito bowls.
What a great day.
This is literally the most beautiful and thrilling tale. Start to finish.
I am almost in tears I am laughing so hard. This is beautiful. I can’t believe you took all the toilet paper. I’m dying. Help. It sounds like the start of a joke: two martial artists, a wrestler, two linebackers and a Navy Seal walk into a Chipotle.
I just put it in direct sunlight outside and watered it with distilled water by setting it on some gravel in a tray and pouring the water into the tray. It catches its own food.
Venus fly traps need full outdoor sunlight, and they can’t tolerate any minerals. You have to pot them in sphagnum moss or sphagnum peat and water them with distilled water, RO water, or rainwater. The pot needs to be at least 6 inches deep and not made of clay, with drainage holes. Soft drink cups work well. Set the cup in a dish and keep about an inch of water in the bottom. You want the substrate to always be slightly damp, like a wrung-out sponge, but not sopping wet. If you give them that, they’re super easy.
I did the sketch for this a few days ago and was going to make a more finished version for today, but my week was a little interesting.
So have the quick-colored and cleaned-up sketch.
Happy 50th Sea World. I’m bringing out the reality of that celebration. 50 years of piling up dead Shamus for human amusement.
Such an occasion, right?
You’re an ignorant fool if you believe this picture.
Orcas in the wild average a lifespan of 60 to 70 years. They can and have been recorded living to 100.
All captive orcas have died under the age of 32. The average death is below the age of 10. (often below even 3)
As of December 2013 159 orcas have died in captivity since orcas started being captured in th 1960s. The oldest of which was 32, her name was Nootka 5. (note that these do not include stillborn calves, misscarriages, or other unsuccessful pregnancies. Which are rampant, and many of the listed Orcas died due to pregnancy complications.)
13 of these deaths are Seaworld Japan. 16 are Seaworld of California. 12 are Seaworld of Florida. 10 are Seaworld of Texas.
That means of the 159 Orca deaths in marine parks worldwide, a total 51 are in Seaworld parks. Not including Seaworld affiliate parks, or parks where Seaworld sent calves/adults.
There are currently 53 living captive Orcas, 19 of them wild captured, 34 captive born. The majority of them being owned by the Seaworld parks, with 55% being in the U.S. ( 2 in Seaworld Japan, 10 at Seaworld California, 7 at Seaworld Florida, 6 at Seaworld Texas.)
I won’t go into the deplorable living conditions, but if you want hard statistics without opinion, here you go. Of the 212 killer whales in captivity since the 1960s, 159 are dead. All of them below the age of 32, all due to illness, injury, or complications. The majority of which at Seaworld parks. This does not include other marine mammal species, such as dolphins, other whales, etc.
If handed any other animal with this statistic would you continue fighting for the practice for the sake of public entertainment?
I urge anyone to do their own research on the subject. Don’t be swayed by just what I have posted, but also do not be swayed b ywhat is being fed to you by the very organizations who use these animals for profit. As we all know, when presented with criticism any company will do their best to downplay it.
It looks like the raven really wants the owl to leave and is trying to intimidate it, but the owl doesn’t care because it knows the raven is all bark and no bite. Or all squawk and no peck. Erm…
Actually, it looks more like the raven is curious about the funny bird and wants to sit next to it, and the owl doesn’t wanna be friends :[ The raven’s body language isn’t aggressive at all — it’s backing down appropriately when the owl displays aggression. Notice the way it’s careful to draw back every time it gets too close to the owl. This is an animal that’s trying to establish it isn’t a threat.
Keep in mind there’s a huge intellect disparity here — ravens exhibit novel tool use and complex communication, whereas owls aren’t even as smart as ducks. We’re sort of trained to view crows and ravens as villainous, but really they’re very playful animals.
“HI YOU’RE PRETTY WANNA BE FRIENDS??”
“HISSS”
This is so cute ‘cause I can imagine the crow being the talkative, friendly one and he’s just like “hi gosh wow you’re pretty I’ve never seen a white crow before! How’d ya get your feathers so white? Do you eat a lot of marshmallows? I eat a lot of marshmallows! This human lady feeds me marshmallows–” and on and on and the owl’s probably just like “What no go away”
This is adorable
My whole childhood just got ruined by that “owls aren’t even as smart as ducks”
“Oh yeah, every time that dad forgets mom is dead, we head to the cemetery so he can see her gravestone.”
WHAT. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard some version of this awful story. Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery. Seriously. I cringe every single time someone tells me about their “plan” to remind a loved one that their loved one is dead.
I also hear this a lot: “I keep reminding mom that her sister is dead, and sometimes she recalls it once I’ve said it.” That’s still not a good thing. Why are we trying to force people to remember that their loved ones have passed away?
If your loved one with dementia has lost track of their timeline, and forgotten that a loved one is dead, don’t remind them. What’s the point of reintroducing that kind of pain? Here’s the thing: they will forget again, and they will ask again. You’re never, ever, ever, going to “convince” them of something permanently.
Instead, do this:
“Dad, where do you think mom is?”
When he tells you the answer, repeat that answer to him and assert that it sounds correct. For example, if he says, “I think mom is at work,” say, “Yes, that sounds right, I think she must be at work.” If he says, “I think she passed away,” say, “Yes, she passed away.”
People like the answer that they gave you. Also, it takes you off the hook to “come up with something” that satisfies them. Then, twenty minutes later, when they ask where mom is, repeat what they originally told you.
Just a little larger than a quarter, the Oak Toad [Anaxyrus quercicus] is the smallest species of toad in North America. The largest of these toads grow no larger than 1.30 inches! They’re a common sight from Louisiana to Virginia. Males are smaller than females, with white bellies as opposed to speckled, and are capable of breeding at just a few months of age.
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