Yep. That’s the downside of Cybertronian bodily fluids being the same for the unpleasant and the fun stuff. 

Well I can’t tag it with porn tags or the bots will get it! 

cumaeansibyl:

cumaeansibyl:

cumaeansibyl:

this is probably old news but it’s occurred to me that all the natural medicines intended to cleanse the body of unspecified “toxins” are promising to relieve symptoms of living under capitalism

you’re tired all the time, your body aches, your mind feels foggy, you’re anxious and depressed – surely this means you need to “detox” and not that you’re overworked and underpaid in a system designed to exhaust you

ohhh, not to mention how much emphasis they place on dietary causes – so you’re eating Bad foods and it’s your fault you feel the way you do

the toxin metaphor is really tempting at times. perhaps you squeeze an aching muscle and the pain spurts through your body, it feels like draining a cyst. what’s this poison that’s soaked into the fibers? an oily sludge, a sizzling acid? the reeking liquor that drips from a bag of rotting potatoes? something’s polluted you, and maybe it’s industrial runoff or chemtrails, or fluoride, or that time three months ago you were so tired you couldn’t remember the names of food, so you went to McDonald’s and ordered the three yellowest things off the board.

but maybe it’s just the sort of things your own body produces when you’re tired and afraid all the time, and maybe you can blame capitalism for some of that but some of it comes down to the fear that came from nowhere to live in your sternum and can’t be cleared out by the subtlest herbs

phle-botomy:

topics apparent in traditional christmas carols that have Strangely Disappeared from modern canon:

• the devil
• the lord of this manor better give us booze or we’ll burn his house Down
• alternatively, give us some cash
• this plant is Red like the blood of Childbirth
• i was wooed in the sheep field
• what up, it’s the Devil again
• goods or tuppence may be exchanged for a viewing of this wren we’ve killed
• SWORD DANCE TUNES
• we sing in thanks of the maidservant who let the mob into the laird’s home
• dancing is a sin but do you think i’m gonna stop
• unlikely
• the apple crop better be good or next year it’ll grow fertilized with your blood
• the winter is cruel but the laird is crueler
• the church is also cruel
• it’s lucky to give us money. in this case, the luck is not getting stabbed
• really there are so many bangers

silverhawk:

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

Looks about right! I love them- they’re like if the ambush style of frog was an eel. Just a mouth and some amount of body to hurtle said mouth at food, usually found buried in sand.